Chapter 22 ✧

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Forest Hills Catholic High School New York Manhattan 📍

Mae's POV ★

I've been getting bad recently and I can't help myself this time. It's this time of year where everything is just so hard too do. When surviving is just enough.

I've been sitting on my floor against my wall smoking half a pack deciding if I should get to school, i'm already a class late. I knew Jim wasn't coming like he normally does to my window. I just pretended like I didn't care but it still hurt knowing he wouldn't come.

He offered me his jacket last night, the tears streaming down my face as I walked out on him. I didn't say anything to his offer I just wanted out.

It's so hard in the mornings.

Why would I go to school when he is there? But I went anyways. I regret it. The second I dragged my feet into the school I seen Brynn and Jim pushing each other around in the halls. I understand they are friends but there oddly touchy now.

My heart aches because my heart is so full of Jim I can't even call it mine. What's worse is that he thinks i'm worth nothing but a penny.

My eyes are tearing up as I walk to my locker trying to be as quite as possible. I throw my books in my locker and just walk out the doors, i'm fucking done with this shit.

"Ms.Raynott Where do you think your going?!"

I would've answered my chemistry teacher but the door shut to fast, oh well. I catch a bus ride back to my place and grabbed some pingers, money and my jacket that I must've left on my deck. I know what i'm doing, i'm going out for the day and making some deals, that's all.

Jim's POV ★

"Brynn you should wear your hair down more often.."

"Aw thanks Jim, your such a sweet heart!"

"Anything for you." I smile at her walking to my locker.

That shit that happened last night between me and Maeve was so bull shit. She's just another girl that thought we could be something and so what I lost that friendship? I got a new one right now with Brynn and it's working just fine. Also Brynn is a good looking one too.

I seen her walk in late today and that's why I decided to fuck around with Brynn in the halls. Yes I used to care about Maeve, now not so much. I won't care anymore anyways. She's only turning into a burnout.

I can't be stuck in once place.
I got to let her go.

But whenever I think of her there's a lump in my throat, that I ignore.

"Jim!"

I look up from the bottom of my locker to meet Brynn's blue eyes.

"Yes ma'am?" I smirk at her.

"You got a spare pencil for me?"

"Yes I do." I throw a pencil at her and she laughs grabbing it.

"Mind if I walk you to class?" I ask her and she shakes her head smiling.

I watch her feet take each step them occasionally watching her blonde hair fall and sway around. When we get to her classroom I smack her ass and she frowns jokingly back at me.

"How can I not?" I shrug running off to my class before I get another late. While running one of my papers slip out of my binder and I turn around to get it. Once I turn around I feel that my note book, the same one always in my back pocket isn't there. I reach my hand on my ass and no book in sight. I feel a panic set over me as I retrace my steps.

"I swear I hand it at least last night." I whisper along with curses but then I remember my jacket.

The same jacket sitting on Maeve's balcony I left for her. My heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest thinking of all the things that could've happened. What if she read it? What if she's reading it right now? What if she got to her page?

My mind is rushing through all the possibilities as I stand totally blank.If she read it she would know what I feel about you, that can't happen. I run a hand through my hair and trace back and forth.

"Jim Carroll get to class this instant or I will phone home!"

"Yep that's what i'm going" I shakily point a finger at him tripping over myself walking to my class.

"Ay Jim!" Neutron shouts while I sit down next to him in class.

"Hey neutron."

"What's up with you?" He calms down his voice and seems genuine.

"I made a really, really bad fucking mistake here." I say running my hands through my hair.

"And that is?"

"I think Maeve read my diary." I say though gritted teeth.

"So..?"

"I talk a lot about her."

"So that's good, she will finally get with you and your hots for her."

"No no no, I kinda sorta dumped her? But we aren't together but I kissed her..." I look at him and his eyes go wide.

"Jim.. are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm fucking around man?" I snap at him.

"So what are you going to do?" He asks like he isn't shitting his pants right now.

"I don't know, I've been hanging around with Brynn so far..." I try and continue but he gets up and leaves.

I'm so fucked.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐒𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𖦹 The Basketball Diaries fanfic ⁂Where stories live. Discover now