The Secrets We Keep

Chapter 4 - William

CHAPTER 4

William

PRESENT

I'm sitting in my Lincoln on a busy neighborhood street in West Hollywood. I've just parallel parked and cut the engine. I watch as I see two girls in their 20s walk next to each other but never really engaging with one another. One is too busy trying to catch the sunlight just right on her ample cleavage, most likely for the 'gram. I'll never really understand social media. It's all so fake. No one is ever always that hot or that happy. In the words of Michael Stipe, everybody hurts sometimes. And right now, I'm shaking my head at my obvious delirium. How on earth I expect to get out of this unscathed is beyond me.

What the fuck am I doing here? Sitting here waiting for her like an obsessed stalker fan outside her last known address. Just hoping I'll catch a glimpse of the elusive Rochelle in all her exquisite beauty. The one I let get away all those years ago. Not that I really had a choice. I had to. If I didn't, I'd be labeled as the worst father and husband on the planet. A deadbeat dad. A shit husband. My kids would grow up to view me as the enemy, a loser, and I couldn't have that. So I did the right thing and left the other woman I fell hard for in the interest of saving my family. Any decent man would do the same if their wife's forgiveness was on the table.

So why am I here now? Oh right. Glutton for punishment. That's me. I just couldn't let that be the end. She told me she loved me through fresh tears I inspired. She loved me even though I treated her like a side piece whore. If she were to see me right now, she'd probably slam the door in my face and I wouldn't blame her. Why worry herself with my worthless words?

But like the idiot I am, I'm holding onto hope. Hope that she'd hear me out. Let me apologize. Let me explain. Why did I storm back into her life like that? Yeah, why? Well...

Shocking me out of my spiraling thoughts, my phone buzzes on the console. I see that it's my son, Patrick. I smile at the sight of his name. My first born. Somehow he turned 18 and is now studying at our alma mater to become a dentist like his mom. God love him.

"Hi son, what's up?" I make sure he can hear the smile in my voice. I wouldn't want to alert him to the impending dread within me. Also, I've got to radiate the essence of a father figure somehow, even though at times I feel like an imposter.

"Hi Dad. Nothing, just checking in. How's the book coming?"

"Oh no, you're not gonna get off that easily. Is something wrong? What happened? Spill the tea," I press.

He lets out a stressed sigh. I knew it. Normally, Patrick has the knack to breeze through all of life's challenges undeterred. He was almost entirely self-sufficient since his pre-teen years. It kinda hurt at times that he didn't seem to need me so much past the age of 12. But these days, when he's stressed, it usually involves a girl.

"Okay. You remember Luna?" he asks shyly, for some reason.

"Your girlfriend. Of course, bud. What is it?"

"Well, you know how we broke up?"

And I'm shocked by this revelation, while at the same time thrilled. They were pretty serious and I was starting to get worried he was gonna follow in his old man's footsteps.

"No. You broke up? Why?"

"I didn't want to go to college attached to someone. I wanted to start anew."

That's my boy. "Well, I think that's pretty forward thinking on your part."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You're young. I actually think you made the right decision."