The Secrets We Keep

Chapter 6 - William

CHAPTER 6

William

PRESENT

Here we are. Palms Corner. The late August air tonight is chilly, as is always the case in Los Angeles. Even when it's hot as hell during the day, by nightfall, coats are basically a requirement. Cheesy neon palm trees light up the trademarked sign outside this intimate little club. It's more of a lounge really. Or at least that's what I've heard. Hollywood Sightseer used words like trendy & chic to describe Palms Corner in its publication's annual Best of L.A. list. It's sandwiched between a smoke shop and a fortune teller's storefront. Go figure.

If I were still in my 20s, I probably wouldn't mind standing in the offensively long line we pass on our way in. I glance at those poor 20-something ladies in tight mini dresses and sky-high heels, and the dudes who hope to bed them. And I realize that I never got a chance to be one of those dudes. The 20-something guy on the prowl for his latest conquest. I think that's part of the reason why I did what I did. It couldn't just have been that I was weak, drunk or just plain stupid. I think getting married so young left me with an unhealthy dose of FOMO. Fuck me.

But, now I'm older and wiser. Well, wiser in theory. And since I'm a 30-something man with 2 kids, a wife and a mortgage, I just don't do lines anymore. This line can kick rocks. Call me impatient. But if my 30s has taught me anything, it's that time is our most valuable asset. And I don't intend on wasting mine. Plus, I can't help that I'm kinda recognizable these days. Not everyone's a booktoker of course, but that interview I did a few months back on Good Morning America didn't exactly hurt my getting into clubs unscathed abilities.

I'll be honest. Being able to flash my pearly whites and walk right in in front of Joseph makes me feel good. I don't fully know why, but I find myself wanting to impress him. I want to be in his good graces again. I want back what I ruined. Our deep-rooted friendship. Our brotherhood.

When we were younger, we'd get into so much trouble together. Like, the summer I got my license, we thought it'd be cool to drive around in my used Chevy and toss water balloons at unsuspecting people passing by. We saw it as a public service really, rather than a nuisance. All we were guilty of was wanting to help people cool off in 100 Degree weather. Unfortunately, we hit the wrong kid and that kid's mom called the fuckin' cops on us. I never drove so fast in my life. Good thing I didn't have the plates on my car just yet.

I hope to recapture that spirit tonight. I hope he lets me. I hope he can, if only for a night, allow me back inside for just a little bit. Maybe in doing so, he'll realize inside is where I belong.

We make our way to the bar through the heavily-perfumed sea of people. The atmosphere hereis thick and foggy. The lights are lowwith a purple hue to them. The DJ boothis lit the same way, with a young Indian woman spinning techno/housemusic. Her arms are covered in tattoosand she rocks a nose ring. Framed, blown-upphotos of people enjoying drinks and life in general hang on the walls. I think I like this place. The edges are clean and understated, yetclassy.

I accidentally bump into a burly old man and he eyes me down like he wants to kick my ass. My brother sees this, smiles at the man and pats him on the shoulder, whilst charming him with a how's your night going tonight? I can tell the man doesn't know how to respond. He clearly wanted to spit out some choice obscenities my way just moments ago. But Joseph's charm got to him first.

My brother. He's always been able to do that. Put people at ease. Make them feel as if they've known him for years. There's a reason he's probably bedded half this town. And became an Executive before the age of 35. He tends to get what he wants. A part of me has always been jealous of that. Yet also resentful. I'm not proud of that.