Untouch me. |Starring Adam Levine|

Part 21.

Hi everyone,

I'm very sorry about it being three months since I updated. I'm going to sound like a student who's always late in class and makes up excuses, but I've had some family emergencies that ended up taking up more of my time than I thought they would. Thank God everything's much better now, and I've managed to finish my exams. 

I'm already writing part 22, but I can't promise anything on when it will be up. I wouldn't want to disappoint any of you guys.

Please, please, please leave comments and vote for this story if you enjoy it. Any help or tips is also highly appreciated. 

Love, Christina. 

Part 21. 

I was almost home, driving the long road back sooner than I had expected to. I couldn't believe what happened. The mess Adam and I had positioned ourselves in wouldn't give my brain any rest. We had no one to blame but ourselves, and I felt terrible about it. I should've told Adam "no". I should have been the smarter one, knowing what the consequences would be. It was too bad that "should haves" always came too late. Adam was still a member of the opposite sex, and maybe I should have predicted that he wouldn't always keep himself to just using his brain.

On the other hand, I was younger, drawn into the arms of a handsome famous man. Was it really my fault that I couldn't ignore the happiness in my life since I met him? Maybe it was even more his fault, because he'd been in the game long enough. He knew what was ought to happen when someone found out. He knew he wasn't responsible for just himself.

But I was. I had really no one to blame but myself. I should have told him no. I should not have fallen in love so quickly.

Maybe we were both equally guilty.

I thought about telling Adam again that we should just quit our relationship; maybe try it again when The Voice is over. But I knew I didn't really want to. Not that I didn't want to wait a few months. I sure would miss Adam, but I would be able to handle it. No, I was afraid that he wouldn't. He had events to attend to, people to meet. If I wouldn't be there to remind him that I was his girlfriend, I wasn't sure how long it would take him to find interest in someone else.

But what did we have right now? Sneaking around, hiding behind corners. You couldn't possibly call this a healthy relationship, and even though I knew, I didn't want to get out. Maybe there was a way to fix this, but I couldn't wrap my head around what it could possibly be.

I knew my insecurities were speaking up. I believed that Adam cared for me, and he wouldn't just forget about me if things got rough, but we weren't that serious about our relationship yet and it brought up a lot of complications. It's not that I didn't trust him or believed him, I just wouldn't be able to blame him if he met someone during our "break". Someone he didn't have to hide or someone who he didn't jeopardize everything that he had worked so hard for with.

I sighed when I pulled up at my apartment. I was glad that I was home, in a safe environment. But I also felt sad, because I knew this wasn't where I really wanted to be. I'd give a lot at that moment to be back at the cabin, lying in Adam's arms.

I pulled my suitcase inside and started climbing the stairs. There was no elevator in my building, and I had wished for one many times, but not right now. I didn't mind climbing up three flights of stairs with a suitcase because it kept me busy.

When I finally reached my apartment I gladly opened the door and went in. I left my suitcase by the door, threw my coat on the couch and sat down next to it. I turned on the TV but didn't really watch what was going on. My mind wouldn't leave me one minute of not contemplating my relationship with Adam. Maybe I could just drop out of The Voice so we could be together.