"In my Shadow" - Miya Atsumu Angst (with happy end)

Chapter 2: Dusk

!Content warnings!
- paranoia
- worsening mental health/states of panic

For everyone who prefers hearing the story there is an audiobook version at the bottom of the chapter.

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As the days went by Atsumu became more and more convinced of his fading sanity. It was almost every day now that when he left the house he was accompanied by the looming fear of being watched. As soon as he had taken a few steps outside the hairs on his neck stood on end and his heart was racing.

He began to look around more frantically but time and time again came up empty-handed. In the absence of an obvious cause for his sudden paranoia, everyone looked suddenly suspicious.

The old lady tending to her lawn, the exhausted student almost falling asleep on the commute home, and even the girl he scared half to death as he jumped when she handed him back his phone that had fallen from his pocket.

It got progressively worse and was particularly intense when he was out alone. He started healing footsteps following him.

Atsumu couldn't remember when they became distinct from the crowds around him. But there was a certain pattern to them that would occur again and again. The same rhythm, the same speed, the same weight. And it was always just behind him.

But when he turned around there was nothing. In the sea of faces, he never recognized one that could fit the pattern. No one seemed to look at him and yet everyone did.

He only ever felt safe when he arrived at practice or at home. The footsteps followed him into stores, on the train, in cafes, and even to Osamu's restaurant. Wherever he went they were right behind him. And yet although the circumstances varied greatly he never noticed anyone distinct.

He felt as though he was being chased by Betobeto-san. An insane thought meant as a joke. But it was one of these evenings he returned from the grocery store that he found himself stepping aside and saying: "After you, Betobeto-san".

As expected it didn't help. He wasn't sure whether he would have been more freaked out if it had but he could feel his sanity deteriorating more and more either way.

It was as if the words had prompted things to get much worse instead of resolving them. The feeling of being stared at and the footsteps following him persisted but now he noticed more.

Things that felt out of place like the chocolate box from a couple of days ago. One day he'd return to his locker only to realize that he had forgotten to pack a fresh short. The other he lost the bracelet he wanted to give Aran and felt awful about it.

His nerves were growing more and more tense with each day and managing the intensifying paranoia while also hiding it became a close to impossible task. He was torn between not wanting to leave the house alone and not wanting his partners to accompany him, lest they'd see what he had succumbed to or worse experience it themselves.

He craved the validation that this was real and that he wasn't becoming insane but what would that mean?
His stomach turned at the possibilities and after checking his surroundings for the umpteenth time he was convinced it couldn't be. There was no one. He was just another stranger in a crowd of them.

Yet his partners weren't blind and Atsumu was progressively losing more and more sleep over this. He didn't want to tell them how bad it had gotten. If these were hallucinations he didn't wanna know and least of all he wanted them to know.
He wasn't sure what it would mean for his future and was too terrified to face it.