"In my Shadow" - Miya Atsumu Angst (with happy end)

Alt. 01 - Chapter 01: The darkest Hour

This is an alternative ending/storyline to the original story, in which Suna was at the bridge too late. He found only what the others did mere minutes later and Atsumu was assumed dead.

Also, the alt. Chapters have additional content warnings that will be added when they come up. Be aware that previous content warnings might affect later chapters.

Content Warnings:
- torture through sensory deprivation
- manipulation
- abuse
- fake suicide

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Cold... it was so infinitely cold. He shivered without actually taking note of it. One of the officers had draped a blanket over his shoulders despite the room being warm. He still watched him from time to time while questioning the others.

Not a word left his mouth. For the first time in his life, Kita found himself incapable of speaking.

He believed it was Suna who called the cops after assuring himself that Komori Al had draped himself tightly to Osamu and prevented him from getting stupid ideas of trying to join his brother.

It was him and Komori who were forced to answer their questions... well mostly him since Komori was crying and sobbing. He was shaken by hiccups with tears and snot running down his face while still trying to tend to those around him.

Mostly his focus was on his cousin, logically it was and Kita was glad. He should pull himself together and tend to his partner himself but he couldn't move. Sakusa had screamed his lungs out at the bridge refusing to accept the reality of the situation. Now he was silent.

Aran held him but he too was shaken by tears. He held the raven so tightly as though his life depended on it.

Kita didn't react when he tried to pull him closer. He didn't react to anything around him. When someone pulled him he complied, when paramedics examined him he let them move his body but aside from small nods or a shake of his head he was apathetic.

He didn't see what was happening in front of him. His sight was taken by memories of the past days. Every little interaction he had with Atsumu played on repeat as he desperately searched for the moment he could have saved him. The one point that still allowed for all of this to be prevented.

He needed, NEEDED, to know when it had gotten this bad, the moment Atsumu had made the plans, the moment he had decided he didn't want to live anymore, and that all their combined efforts weren't enough.

But nothing.

He knew Atsumu. He knew him well for many many years, the only ones knowing him better perhaps being his mother and the wreck of a twin brother he left behind.

But he knew him, had studied him meticulously, as a player and friend back then and as a romantic partner now. He wanted to know everything about him, every tiny thing that made him smile or sad. The very depth of his being, Kita sought to unravel it.

And he thought he had gotten close. No, he knew he had gotten close... and yet it wasn't enough. Even now, knowing what his plan had been, he couldn't decipher, couldn't see when it had changed.

The only option left was that he had never recovered. That he had always planned to do this today... but who would plan something for so many years?

He despaired. His mind failed to provide the answers he needed no matter how long and thoroughly he examined everything.

Eventually, someone - Aran - took his hand and pulled him forward. He guided him and Sakusa to their car and with that to an empty house. A house that would never not feel empty again. And Kita saw him.