"In my Shadow" - Miya Atsumu Angst (with happy end)

Alt.01 - Chapter 02: First Light

Chapter 2: First Light

That night — or day, it was all the same to him down here — Atsumu didn't sleep. He was battling the despair forcing him to his knees and trying to immobilize him. No one was coming for him.

The realization was like plummeting down an endless void. Like he had been falling for months and now finally hit the ground. It should have killed him. It tried to kill him.

A huge part of him, the part that had been conditioned to fear the dark and beg for her mercy. The part that had been taught to find comfort in her care after she made him sick and weak. That part screamed for him to finally lay down and rest and admit defeat.

And he might have. He wanted to give in. He couldn't bear the torture anymore. Resisting her was torture and any idea of escape seemed impossible at this point. He must have been a lunatic to think he had a chance to escape.

But there was still a very tiny yet loud fraction of him left that he thought crazy for its ideas but he listened regardless.

It was Sakusa's retirement that remained in his thoughts, nagging. It might be a stupid foolish reason to cling to. It made no sense that this would motivate him to fight while them thinking him dead paralyzed him.

Perhaps the latter was just too hard to face. Perhaps he could have lived knowing that they could move on without him. Perhaps… he had forgotten how to fight for himself through these past months.

But… volleyball was Sakusa’s dream. The ace worked so hard to make it, against all odds and fighting his foolish family in the process. He couldn't bear the thought of him giving him up because of a lie.

He had already seen Osamu leave the sport he couldn't bear watching Omi do the same.

As minuscule as it was he clung to that sensation. If that was what kept him from laying down and accepting his fate so be it.

He had fought back hard at the beginning but recently he had become almost too submissive, too scared. Surely after so long, Haru would assume her influence and control over him as certain, especially after his reaction to the recording.

After a while, he stopped trying to escape deeming it safer to wait for help that as it turns out would never come. It might be years until Osamu found the recording or perhaps never if he discarded his phone eventually without finding it.

Now that he knew it was up to him every risk would be worth it. There was no safer option anymore.

He had to strike at once when Haru felt safest. His stomach turned and he almost vomited when he realized that she was most confident in her position of power after weakening him by looking him in the dark.

Only that he always was a wreck afterward and it got progressively worse every time.

It took days to work up the courage to consider his plan and search for an anker that would keep him sane enough to proceed when the door opened.

He distanced himself from her again and with every second passing his panic grew. He knew it was only a matter of time until-
"This is really frustrating. It's been over a week now and you are still mopping about that video?" Haru complained. "Aren't you grateful for what I did for us?"

She sighed.
"You are so difficult. No wonder your 'friends' gave up on you so quickly. I understand now why they didn't even want to have you back but…
"I’m different. I can help you Atsumu. I can make you better. I will never leave you."

Her hands closed around the sides of his face again but he still refused to look up at her even long after her grip had become painful. With a sigh that just for a moment exposed her true intent she let go of him.