You Smell Like Hope

11. Miserable (You&Me).

가만히 서 있는 너에게 나를 묶어 놓고 어떻게든
같이 걸어가려, I feel so tired but I can't give you up, my babe

Crocus bulbs.
They thrive in the cold ground all winter. But at the first hint of spring, they open up and the crocus plants burst through the earth to bloom, even if there is still snow on the ground. Because of this, they are symbols of new beginnings.

Minho's pov.

He's been alseep for two hours now and I still didn't dare to move from where I'm seated next to his bed. On the floor. Yes. You read that correct.

Me. Lee Minho. Is sitting on the floor. I find in hard to believe it myself, but it feels impossible to leave. I'm not even sure why am I hear to begin with.

Last I remember, I was on the phone with his manager after he agreed to let Jisung work with me and he told me his address, seconds later I found myself in my car driving here.

Somehow the address didn't confuse me at all even though I've never been to this part of the city before.

All that doesn't matter now though, because the moment my eyes laid on him and his weak gaze found mine. My heart screamed.

It screamed for me to hold the guy in my arms and never pull away. It screamed for me to move, to cry, to hold him, to do anything. I just couldn't bare the thought of just staying still.

Then he cried. And if what I felt earlier was my heart screaming then that moment was when he went quite, because everything did as well. Suddenly my whole life came shattering with the realization of how useless it is.

That's how I felt. Useless.

The years and days I spent away from where I am now felt like a sour waste.

I can't decide which felt worse, his tears or him thinking I'm there to hurt him. Both didn't settle kindly in my brain.

I feel like whatever happened was the slap I deserved for treating him that way. Why did you do it then. I asked myself and it didn't answer.

I'm glad however, that I was able to help him to bed before he passes out. His hollow cheeks and visible bones are a clear sign of his empty stomach. I wonder how I didn't notice before, maybe because I was too busy about the stalker and being brainless.

I looked around the small room wondering how he's able to survive here, the only furniture here isn't big enough for a child's room. Not even his bed.

It's confusing me if I'm being honest, I know that clubs and work like this pays a lot so how is this all could afford. I refuse to believe he chose this life.

I refuse to believe I yelled at someone who live this life.

I called Chan an hour ago telling him to bring fever medicine for the burning boy and meals that would be enough to feed him for few days.

I had to send him the location of the house since apparently he didn't find out when Jisung was in the hospital.

I stayed like this for another 20 minutes until I heard a knock on the door.

"Hey hyung," I whispered after opening the door quietly so Jisung won't wake up. "Hey Minho, how is he?" I let him in and he looked around for somewhere to place the food bags.

"What are you doing?" A weak panicked voice said, I looked back at Jisung who held all the painc in his half opened eyes.

"Just food and medicine for you, try sitting up so I can give you it." I explained and took the medicine bag from Chan, he was smart enough to buy a water bottle with it.

I made my way to Jisung and helped him sit up before giving him the pill and opening the water bottle so he can drink. "Thank you so much." He looked more grateful than he should have. Nothing I do now would make up for the way I treated him.

"W-why are you here?" He looked between me and Chan with worry, it broke my heart that we're strangers, just for a second I wished that we were friends, family, co workers, anything, anything so that my presence won't be scary for him.

"I came to talk to you about a lot of things, but you were sick so I called Chan to bring stuff." I said as I opened the food bags to hand the plates to Jisung. "What things did you want to talk about?" He was hesitant to take the plates, but finally did after I pushed it about 5 times.

"About the whole kidnapping thing," I started and he stiffened, "I won't tell anyone don't worry." He said hurriedly. "What?" I looked at him confused, "that's not what I mean. Hannah told us about the misunderstanding that happened and I wanted to clarify what actually happened."

"Oh so now you call it a misunderstanding?" Chan scoffed, "shut it hyung."

"So as I was saying, we didn't kindap you, a stalker of mine did." I started again after chan cut me, "her name is Yarin we reported her to the police so don't worry about it anymore." I explained.

"So you weren't the ones who kidnapped me?" He asked again. "Nope. Now eat your food." He just nodded it and I watched him as he filled his cheeks with food before chewed it. How can someone be this cute while eating?

After he was done eating I collected the empty plastic plates and put them all in the bag they came in so I can throw it away in my way out, "where can I put these?" I asked holding the rest of the food plates Chan got. "Anywhere is fine" Jisung answered.

I decided to put them on the floor next to his bed hopefully no insects would get to them.

"Can I ask you something?" Jisung asked just as I placed the bags down. "Go ahead." I answered and was about to sit on the floor like I was earlier, "you can sit on the bed." He said, "I'm in my outside clothes?" I reminded him.

"Please my bed would get your clothes dirty if anything," he giggled and my heart and brain finally went easy on me with the sound of his small giggle, I sat down on his bed like he asked.

"I'll be going now, call me if you need anything." Chan said from next to the door, "okay, thank you hyung." I didn't have to yell since the bed was only steps away from the door. "Thank you hyung." Han repeated. He's so adorable for what?

"Your question?" I asked after Chan left the apartment. "Why did you buy me?" His choice of words caught me off guard. "Buy you?"

"Yes the base owners told me this morning, the event manager bought me. Why did you?" He explained more as if it would make it better. "Jisung I asked them if I could hire you. No one can buy you jisung you're a human being." He stayed silent for a minute looking lost in his thoughts before he spoke up again.

"Why?" He asked again, "because your voice is a treasure. I want you to open all my upcoming events, just like you did last time?" His performance is still stuck in my head, playing on loop like a broken but the calmest record.

"Just like last time? In my clothes?" He looked at me with shinny bubble eyes, "yes. I mean you can wear whatever you like if you don't want to perform in a coat." He nodded and smiled brightly despite the pain his body and eyes still showing. "Go to sleep now, get some rest, I'll give you this week off so you can rest then I'll send someone to pick you up to the company." I told him and pulled his too light blanket over his body so he can rest.

I got up from the bed, but didn't leave until I was sure he's in dream world and would wake up to find the medicine and water close to him.

What is happening to me.