You Smell Like Hope

17. Cigarettes Daydream

Cigarette daydream
You were only seventeen
Soft speak with a mean streak
Nearly brought me to my knees

I wish it was me who drew you so I could add colour to your black and white live.

Minho's pov.

I drove back to my house after I left Jisung's new apartment.

I don't understand and I don't think I ever will, my feelings have never been this confusing and over the floor, I don't think I have ever felt as many emotions before, emotions as strong as what I'm feeling right now. It's too much for me, but all I can think about is how heavy it is on him. It's like, these feelings are killing me, but mainly because it's killing him, and I am confused.

I'm confused yes, but I know what I am doing, and I have my mind set perfectly on a plan and I'm on my way to implement it and I know. I know what I'm going to say, and I am repeating it to myself over and over again. I kept repeating it until a reached my dad's office and knocked. I repeated it one last time while he finished his phone call quickly. More like excused himself and said he'll call later. "Hello son, is everything alright?" That's when I started repeating my words and I felt them drifting away from my brain. Everything I wanted to say left my brain but not through my mouth cause the only thing that left my mouth was a sob.

Almost immediately my dad rounded his desk and walked towards me, and I loved it. I loved it so much, but the only thing I could think about was how much Jisung had sobbed and cried and yet no one rushes for him.

It's killing me.

My dad hugged me, and I wished I have hugged Jisung more because it feels so warm to be held by someone who cares about you. And Jisung is cold, he has always been cold and tired, and he deserved a longer hug. "Talk to me Minho what's wrong? If this is about the company, it's okay, we can fix it. You're already too young to run a company by yourself I had excepted a mistake and it's okay." I'm going to be honest that was offensive, but I can't really care about that right now I'll come back to it later. "It's not about the company, I just need your help with something else..." I couldn't finish my sentence because he cut me off, "a dating problem? Did a girl reject you? It's okay I can get you ice cream, and you can cry about it."

"What? Dad no," I couldn't help but laugh and he smiled when I did. "This is about a guy..." He cut me off again, "oh so it's a guy, that's okay too I don't know how to deal with a guy's rejection tho never tried it."

"Dad let me finish!" I laughed again. "Okay okay go ahead I'm only joking, not about the guy part you can love who you love." I rolled my eyes and followed him to the couch. "I'm sure you saw the cancellation deals I did last night." I started and he nodded and waited for me to continue. "Do you remember the new dancer we hired?" I asked and I can tell he was confused but he answered anyway, "yes, Jisung was it? He was in your room this morning your mother told me."

"Yeah... I don't really know where to start this but before I do you need to promise to not tell anyone about this not even mum." He realized how serious the conversation is becoming and focused on me more, "I promise don't worry."

"So last night as Jisung was on stage when the man from advertising models company started talking to me about him. I didn't pay attention at first until I noticed Jisung freaked out once he saw him and then the man smirked and started saying....." I stopped to take a deep breath and he held my hand in his. "He started saying really nasty stuff about him. He said things that should put him in jail! And he thought I agree with him because I smiled at Jisung! I wanted to throw up from how disgusting his words were, dad." I cried again for Jisung. I don't think I've ever cried that much even as a kid but when I just think of Jisung it's like the tears of his transfer for me to cry them. For him. 

"We can get the man in jail Minho don't worry, you did well by cancelling the deals" my dad said as he held me. "It doesn't stop here," I looked at his eyes and watched them break for the little guy as I spoke. " I went after Jisung once he finished the performance and he passed out in my arms, that's why I brought him here. When he woke up, he told me about everything, and I saw how much it hurt him to talk about it. I don't think he had ever talked before."

"He was just fourteen dad." It stung to say it. I can't even imagine how he must feel and I think my dad agrees when he spoke up. "Oh, dear poor boy. Is he safe now Minho?"

"Yeah I sent him to one of the apartments and made sure he got there safely so he doesn't need to go back to that neighborhood." I explained and he nodded. "You did great Minho, but tell me what do you need my help with?"

"Jisung was kidnapped as a kid, he was 10 and now he's 21 and still haven't returned. I need your help to find his parents." I know it's hard, but he knows people I'm sure if someone can help me find them it's him. "I would gladly help you with that, but I need more information than his age."

"Of course - yeah, I can ask him to talk to you? I don't know how he would react however, I noticed he has a really severe anxiety I have witnessed it myself." Watching him having a panic attack did hurt but knowing the reason it was happening hurt ten times more. "That's okay don't pressure him, just make sure he's okay and safe, from what you said I assume he's still in danger?"

"He was until I paid what I thought was his boss to make him work with me instead and he still was in danger even then that's why I moved him." Nothing from what I did feels enough, and the guilt is eating me alive. "That's really great Minho, keep an eye out. I'll drop by the company often so don't worry about it right now. The boy needs you more than the company."

"Thank you, dad for everything." I smiled despite my tears covered cheeks and hugged him, "that's my job son, you can come to me for anything you need, and no more tears I haven't seen you cry since you were three or something." We both laughed and he tightened his hug before letting go.

I left my dad's office with one thought in mind.

Actually, not one I had a lot of thoughts.

1. Keep Jisung safe.
2. Make Jisung happy.
3. Take revenge for Jisung.

Okay saying them like that makes it feel like I'm obsessed. I'm not.....