You Smell Like Hope

23. Empty Bed

I was thirteen years old with a heart made of gold
Tried to make some friends
almost killed myself instead, oh no
they said the meds would take care of things for me

The tree.

Jisung's pov.

I was in the dancing studio with Felix when Minho sent Billy to get me. He has been doing that often lately since our date a few days ago. It was nice, special even in a way. It made me feel a type of excitement that I have not felt before. I love it really, but something feels wrong. Not him. Never him. Rather something bothering him. He always looks a second away from speaking, yet he never does.

However, today it seemed like the day he will. I noticed that once I entered his office.

''Hello, Darling.'' he smiled as he got up to hug me, another thing he has been doing lately, another thing I love dearly. The gentle touch always makes my cold skin shiver in the best way possible.

''Hello, hyung.'' I smiled back at him pulling away. He never pulls away first, something I have learnt after three hugs lasted over a minute.

''How is work?'' He asked and walked further into the office to sit down on the couch.

''Fun, I finished my work early and was hanging out with Felix in the studio.'' I followed. sitting down next to him.

''Did you eat well?'' yet another new habit of his. Every morning asks how I slept. Every afternoon asks if I ate well. It is quite adorable to watch him care.

''I did. How about you hyung?'' the conversation flew casually between us after that. As we sat close enough for our legs to stick together and for me to be able to listen to his heart melodies. He played with my hands as we talked, not loudly, there was no reason to be loud when we are that close to each other.

''Do you want to take the rest of the day off?'' He asked suddenly. I looked at him confused and waited for him to elaborate. ''I just want you to go to the park, it is always so late when we finish working so maybe you can leave early?''

I smiled at that and decided I will take the chance, I nodded. ''Okay, Thank you so much, Hyung.''

''It is okay, I did not really do anything. wait let me grab my keys and drive you there on my way to the meeting.'' I was about to ask when he spoke up again. ''No, it's okay. It is nothing important I won't need you there with me.''

I nodded again and waited for him to collect his things before we both left the company to his car where his driver was waiting for us.

The drive there wasn't long. It grew shorter every time I pass by it, I didn't even notice when we arrived.

"Ring me if you need anything, okay? I'll be right there." I smiled at him and looked at the parking gate.

Before leaving the car, I took out my lavender perfume from my pocket and sprayed it on my wrist. I'm actually not sure if the lavender was the reason it felt so comforting or was it smelling like Minho's surrounding that made it so. Whichever it is I am just thankful it always provides what I need.

Minho gave me another encouraging smile as I left the car. He didn't tell the driver to pull away until I was already at the gate. I didn't have to look back to know that.

I walked inside the park for the first time alone. Minho wasn't there and nor were they. I kept walking around pictures of him running after me were planted in my head in every corner. I kept walking further till I reached the place I drifted to alone once and never comeback. It sent shivers to my spine this time not the good type. I then found myself walking towards the tree. As if to tell myself I can go back to them now there's no one pushing me in the other direction. I can scream for them because no one is holding my mouth, but what's the benefit of having access to all that when they're not here.

When I finally reached the tree I wondered if I should go up, but I didn't feel like I have the heart to actually step one step closer.

Not when they are not there.

Not when I saw them there.

I kept staring at the scene in front of me, the crying mother and the son comforting her.

I'm sure he's her son.
I'm sure because his picture never left my mind.

I stood stuck in my place as I watched them. Far enough for them not to see me, close enough for me to hear the cries of the mother.

I stood there for an hour. I only found that out when Minho told me later.

I stood there until he took his mother away promising to bring her here again tomorrow.

Then I left and rang Minho telling him I'm going home.

I'm questioning if I have watched my real home leaving the park in front of my eyes though.