Archie, Darling. A Queer Romance

Archie, Darling. Part 13

11

25/10/22

"Hey!" Ellie shouts, bursting through her doorway, collecting me in a bear hug.

"It's been YEARS!" I say, a hand to my forehead like a dying young woman in a renaissance painting.

"Years!" she says, standing back looking equally distressed.

"I thought you'd died" I say, throwing my hands up,

"I thought YOU'D died" she laughs pulling me closer. The giant hairball known as Ham strolls to the door to see what the commotion is. He glances up at us, flicks his tail and strolls off.

"The magic has finally died hasn't it" I say defeated

"It's ok, we have a support group for his ex's" says Ellie, comforting me as she beckons me inside.

"How are you?" I ask, as we walk to the lounge room. Her loungeroom is small and the couches are a hodgepodge collection of roadside pickups. The springs have all given out and when you sit down you sink into a sea of cushions.

"I'm good, I've missed you" says Ellie, from the pile of cushions next to me.

I dive across into the pile and hug the lot, hoping to get her in the bundle.

"I've missed you" I say.

"What's new?" the cushions ask.

"Oh!! Big news! I'm going to wear a dress to Mary's wedding."

"Oh shit! Show me, show me!" she says, bursting forward from behind one. "Holy hell" she says as I show her photos of me modelling the dress. "That's stunning, you're stunning".

"I'm so nervous."

"You'll be fine!" she reassures me.

"On that note bub, I didn't invite you because I'd already RSVP'd before we met" I say nervously.

"Oh, that's ok!" she says. Does she mean that?

"Yea but, Mary has said she can fit you in."

"Do you want me to come?" she asks. I'm not actually sure. I've stressed in the past when partners have come to big family events. I feel like I have to choose between keeping them company and talking to my family. It'll be worse at this one because I'll be in the bridal party and Ellie would be seated with randoms she doesn't really know. I'm not sure how to say all of this though.

"Well," I begin "you might be bored with me being on the bridal party."

"I supposed I'd have to hold my own, but don't let that stop you."

"True, I'm also like..." How do I explain a life's worth of anxiety without insulting her?

"Hey, you don't have to invite me. I'd be happy to go and I'd be happy not to."

"No, no, I know. I think I'm just anxious cos of past stuff." I can feel myself starting to panic.

"How so?"

"I mean like, with other partners at big events." With Jay. The room is suddenly far too small for the two of us.

"Maybe I'll sit this one out then bub, I won't be offended" she says. I think that's what I want, and if she doesn't mind then that's perfect. Sometimes people say they won't be offended when they really mean: "I'll be offended but I'll pretend it's fine" I'm not sure which one Ellie is intending to say right now. She's always been upfront with me so I'm hedging my bets that she actually means it. With Jay, it was impossible to read what she meant. So often, I found myself thinking I was doing what she wanted, only for her to turn around and snap at me because I was, in her words, "Ignoring her needs".