Bound by Love and Rivalry: Auston Matthews

Chapter 11

Auston and I got into the elevator to go up to my apartment, the atmosphere was tense. The weight of unspoken words hung in the air making the elevator feel smaller than it already was. It felt claustrophobic. I head down to my apartment fiddling with my keys. Trying to open the door but being drunk and my nerves I couldn't open the door.

"Here let me" Auston finally spoke

I handed him the keys and he opened the door. We walked into the living room and I sat down on the couch and he stood. He stared up at the ceiling as I stared down at the throw pillow I was fiddling with.

Auston cleared his throat and I could feel him looking at me but I avoided his eyes

"I messed up, Brooklyn. I can't apologize enough for what I did. It was stupid of me I wasn't thinking. I never meant to hurt you like this."

Tears began to well up in my eyes. I was fighting to keep composure. "I don't think you understand what you've done to us? To me?"

Our eyes finally met and he looked at me for a moment, the weight of his actions seemed to register. "I know I hurt you, and I hate myself for it. I just want a chance to make things right."

I took a deep breath, trying my hardest to steady my emotions. "Auston, I don't even know where to begin. You completely betrayed me, and embarrassed me. I want to walk away from you, but deep down I don't want too"

Auston made his way towards me sitting on the couch and crouched down in front of me to get on my eye level. He reached out his hand, hesitating on whether to touch me or not.

"I understand if you can't forgive me, but I want you to know I still love you. I made a mistake, a terrible one, but it doesn't change how I feel about you"

At this point I had steady tears streaming down my face and I looked down away from him. I was conflicted and emotional but I knew I loved him

"I'll do whatever it takes. I'll be patient, and I'll work to earn your trust back. I don't... I can't loose you Brooklyn"

I looked up at him and he had tears streaming down his face at this point too. I placed my hand on his face

"We have a lot to work through Auston. This can't just be swept under the rug. It's going to take time"

He looks up and nods his head. We embraced each other. This marked the beginning of what would be a challenging journey toward healing and rebuilding what was broken. I was uncertain of what was to come but the shared commitment to make it work was a small glimmer of hope in the midst of a heartache.

_____________________________________________

In the days that followed that night Auston and I began the process of rebuilding our relationship. I wanted to make sure he truly wanted to fix things so I suggested we did couples counseling. I knew if we did not do this it would be swept under the rug and never fully dealt with so we did the couples counseling.

The counseling was good for us as we continued to go. It was difficult and made us see the painful truths and forced us to confront the issue. It also gave us tips on how to navigate through the trust issues and how to communicate how we were feeling.

We knew there were going to be setbacks ahead of us. Especially with the intimacy part of our relationship. I had no problem kissing Auston but being intimate with him was something I wasn't ready for. The thought of him cheating crept in the back of my mind every time. He understood and never pressed me about it.