Selflessly

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Selfish

I was stuck with that thought about him and Sarah who could still be together.

And maybe because I was being insecure, too. Kasi alam ko na may halaga rin si Sarah sa buhay niya dahil hindi siya agad na nakapag-moved on dito. While I think that I have only ever loved him, minsan naman siyang may minahal na nauna pa sa akin...

I didn't want to really dwell myself with that thought. After all it's just his past relationship. But maybe it's also because of my pregnancy hormones, too... Because I'm pregnant with his child...

Napailing na lang ako sa pag-iisip.

"Why are you here, Kalyx?" I asked him.

"To stop you from leaving, Rina. Your friends talked to me and told me that you were leaving today." He said.

Bahagya naman nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. It's probably Bianca and Kassie who told him about my flight today.

And speaking of my flight, mukhang naiwan na nga ako ng eroplano na dapat ay sasakyan ko paalis ngayon ng bansa.

I just turned my attention back to Kalyx. "What else did my friends tell you?" I asked him.

Umiling naman siya. "They told me that you're leaving... And I don't want you to go, Rina." He said.

They only told him that I was leaving. But they haven't told him that I was pregnant. Maybe Kassandra and Bianca thought that it should be me to tell Kalyx about it.

Humugot naman ako ng hininga sandali. Kailangan ko munang humugot pa ng tapang at lakas ng loob bago ko ito tuluyan nang masabi sa kaniya.

And I didn't know yet what would happen to us after this.

But I guess that I just have to trust Kalyx now...

"Let me tell you something, Kalyx." I said. I was ready to tell him.

After all, I can be selfish, too.

I can also want to tell him and we could decide this together. At kaming dalawa lang. Without anymore thinking of other people... Ayaw ko nang isipin pa si Mommy, o ang Dad ni Kalyx, at si Daddy...

I just want to think about the two of us now, and our child. Mali pa rin ba ito? Gusto ko lang naman na isipin din ang sarili ko ngayon, kung ano ang gusto ko. Gusto kong isipin ko rin kami ni Kalyx. And our future together with our child now...

So I'll tell him now that I'm pregnant with his child and we should be together after knowing it... Dahil gusto ko na lang na maging makasarili. At unahin din naman ang gusto ko ngayon.

Pakiramdam ko ay nanginginig pa ako kahit hindi naman ako nilalamig. Bumibilis din ang tibok ng puso ko. And I just didn't care anymore.

For once in my life... I just want to tell Kalyx everything now and selfishly.

"Kalyx, I'm pregnant with your child." I said it straight to him. And I finally did tell him.

After trying to hide it, sa matagal-tagal din na panahon. At ang hirap-hirap na rin itong itago pa.

Nakita ko naman na umawang ang labi niya at nanlaki rin ang mga mata niya.

And as my tears fell down that it already wet my cheeks, kanina ko pa rin naramdaman na nag-iinit na ang mga mata ko sa luha. Wala na siguro talaga akong pakialam pa ngayon tungkol kay Sarah o sa doubts ko na baka mahal pa rin siya ni Kalyx. I should just stop overthinking about it now. I can't be bothered by this forever. And I should just leave it now behind. After all, tapos na rin naman sila ni Kalyx. He already told me that. At ako na lang naman siguro talaga ang nag-iisip na meron pa rin sa kanila. And because I was just confused from everything that's happening to us. Pero ngayon, I just want us to be together with our child... Para sa anak namin ni Kalyx. At para rin sa aming dalawa...

I just want to think about us three now...

"I love you, Kalyx." At nasabi ko na rin sa kaniya sa wakas. Matapang din akong tumingin sa kaniya kahit pa may mga luha sa mga mata ko. "And I just...want us to be together..." And it still came out as a whisper. Pinanghihinaan pa rin ako ng loob. At nanghihina na rin physically... But I want him to know now. I want him to know that I already love him. I'm already in love with him.

Tumingin pa ako sa kaniya. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya para makita ko ang reaksyon sa mukha niya. But instead, he just enveloped me in his warm embrace. Kalyx just hugged me instead and comforted me. "I love you, too. I'm in love with you, Rina." He whispered in my ear...

At lalo pa akong umiyak sa dibdib niya habang yakap-yakap na niya ako ngayon in his strong and comforting arms. It was painful, pero parang may mabigat din na nakadagan sa akin ang nawala na ngayon.

Parang gumaan na rin ang pakiramdam ko...

"What about Sarah?" But I just can't help it but to still ask him about his ex.

"I already told you about Sarah and I, Rin. We're done a long time ago. And when she asked to talk to me, I just went and talked to her, too. Because that's what you yourself also advised me, right? You told me to listen to her, too. And I did listened to her explanation about what happened to us. Sarah was a dear friend to me, too. Even before we had a relationship, Rina. Naging magkaibigan na kami kahit noong mga bata pa kami. And my Mom also liked her. At siguro iyon ang dahilan kung bakit hindi pa agad ako bumitaw sa kaniya dahil kay Mommy. But I already realized that it was time to let it go completely. Kasi nandito ka na. And I want to give you everything that I have, Rina. For you... and our child." Bahagya pang mas lalong humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin.

Napapikit naman ako ng mga mata ko habang nasa loob pa rin ako ng mga bisig niya para damhin ko rin ang komportable niyang yakap sa akin.

"But, did she ask you back?" Ayaw pa rin talagang magpaawat ng pregnant hormones ko, or I just want to know it once and for all. Para pagkatapos nito ay wala na rin akong iisipin pa...

"No. We only talked about us. And we just apologized to each other for hurting each other, Rina. We're now happy with each love that we found. I'm now happy with you, Rin." malambing niya na sinabi sa akin at hinagkan niya rin ako.

And after that we walked out of the airport. Sumakay ako sa kotse ni Kalyx at uuwi na muna kami ngayon sa condo niya. And I still have to tell him about our parents...