AKSHNAV FF- Piya tose naina laage re

Chap 13- Akshara's dilemma

Akshara was looking at Abhimanyu's picture. She sat quietly in the garden listening to the chirping of birds and the soothing sounds of the winds. Abhir had eaten his lunch and slept. Her household chores were almost done and she was waiting for Abhinav to return home.

"Akshu............" She heard Abhimanyu's voice again. The same voice that had once  filled her heart with love and comfort was now haunting her. The last six years had been a haze for her. She was lost in raising her child, so much so that Abhinav had to remind her time and again to focus on herself as well. He was out of town the whole year. He only returned home in winter, when the tourist season was at its peak. Even in those days, he was either driving or taking Neelamma for her health checkups. Abhir accompanied him out of town during the school vacations, but she stayed back. She lived a lonely life, filled with responsibilities and commitments.

The sound of the doorbell put a stop to her chain of thoughts. She rushed to open the door. But Abhir had woken up from sleep and unlocked the door already.

"Papa!" said her six year old son smiling at Abhinav," why are you so late papa? I wanted to have lunch with you."

"Sorry nikke ji," said Abhinav picking up Abhir in his arms," So, has your winter break started?"

"Yes papa," said Abhir while Akshara went into the kitchen to bring lunch for Abhinav.

"Sirf halwa hi khaoonga Akshara ji,"Abhinav said.

"Kyun," said Akshara," aap khakar aaye hain?"

Abhinav nodded while washing his hands.

"The passengers insisted so........ " he said.

"Its okay," said Akshara," I will bring halwa for you."

"Winter is the best season!" said Abhir happily," because papa is home with us!"

"Aapka show toh hit ho gya hai Akshara ji," Abhinav said," saare tourist impressed hain aapse."

Akhara had recently started singing for a radio show which aired every weekend. They paid her a small sum of money which she saved for Abhir's education.

"I am leaving next week Akshara ji," Abhinav said once Abhir had fallen asleep on the sofa.

"But why?" said Akshara," Abhir waits the whole year just to spend the winter break with you!"

"I know Akshara ji. But you remember the school we want Abhir to get into?"

Akshara nodded.

"The fees is too high Akshara ji. And the money I am earning here is not enough. I am going to Udaipur to find better work........................"

"Is that the real reason Abhinav ji? Or.................Is there someone else in your life? You can be honest with me. I wont mind at all. Our marriage is only a signed legal document for Abhir's sake. Thats it. You have every right to live your life the way you want to."

Abhinav's face fell.

"Socha nahi tha Akshara ji ki aap aisa sochti hongi mere baare mein. Khair....aapki galati nahi hai. Poora saal toh kasauli se bahar hi rehta hoon. Toh biwi toh aise hi sochegi naa."

"Mera wo matlab nahi tha," Akshara said," wo..mujhe laga ki shayad aap........................Bataiye naa Abhinav ji, kya kabhi aapko bhi laga hai ki meri zindagi mein koi aur hai?"

Abhinav smiled and said," Aapki zindagi mein toh aap khud hi nahi hain Akshara ji. Its high time that you start valuing yourself and start seeing yourself for who you are, instead of just being Abhir's mother."

Abhinav picked up Abhir (who was still asleep) in his arms and began walking towards his room when Akshara said,"Toh phir agar aapki life mein sirf main aur Abhir hi hain, toh ruk jaaiye naa hamare liye. School ka kya hai, is saal naa sahi toh agle saal paise jod lenge."

Abhinav didnt say anything and quietly walked towards his room. He tucked Abhir into his bed covering him with thick warm quilts and got into the bed with him. Akshara's bed lay almost two feet away, towards the window.

She closed the curtain so that the afternoon sun would not disturb their sleep. She then quietly tiptoed out of the room.

"Abhinav ji theek keh rahe hain," she whispered," I....I so want to focus on music again. But how?"

She walked quietly down the stairs. Her eyes fell on their family picture. She was holding one year old Abhir in her arms, Neelamma was sitting on a wooden chair while Muskaan sat close to her grandmother's feet. Abhinav was holding a huge teddy in his hands to make baby Abhir smile. She then swiped through her phone and came across a picture which was clicked a week after her wedding with Abhimanyu. The entire Birla family, including Neil was in the picture. Her eyes drifted from the picture on the wall to that on the screen of her phone.

She closed her eyes and visualised Seerat maa and Naira maa standing close to her.

"Akshu," said Naira," kya soch rahi hai meri gudiya?"

"Manne pata hai," Seerat said," apne aaj aur kal ke beech ulajh rahi hai maari laado."

"Princess," she saw Kartik covered in a dense mist," mujhe pata hai ki meri princess bohot smart hai. Aur humesha smart decision hi legi."

The loud whistle of the pressure cooker brought Akshara back to reality. She opened her eyes which were now filled with tears.