Lottie's Ship Wish

CHAPTER 20

"It's also raining today," Flora said as she looked at the big window after taking out the old curtains from it.

"Yeah," Duncan agreed, setting his eyes to the dark sky too.

Outside, there is no sign of sunshine but heavy pouring of rain from dim-lit clouds. The whole atmosphere it gives was depressing, even the flowers were facing down and not up.

As if the weather was mimicking the ambience inside the Reynesford manor.

"How's the lady?" Duncan changed the subject and looked at his lover.

Flora shook her head with a gloomy expression before answering.

"She is still asleep."

"It's been a week," He responded then looking back outside.

Yes, seven days had passed since the kidnapping incident. The people and a few nobles involved were presented to the emperor and received suitable punishments for what they did. Unfortunately, the other nobles who got away from that day were not found. However, the public execution of the guilty was deemed enough as a warning to them.

Nevertheless, even after all of that, Lottie didn't wake up.

Her eyes didn't open once for the duration of one week and her fever remained high.

And today, Lottie had another check-up.

"She is healing slowly." Doctor Caleb informed Anthony after he finished checking Lottie's heartbeat.

They're inside her room doing the regular check-up with Duncan and Flora beside them.

"All we have to do is wait for her to wake up," He continued.

"And when will it be?" Anthony asked in an almost whispery tone, his hands hugging both his arms.

Doctor Caleb fell silent while the lovers looked at each other with cheerless faces.

"Right now, she...has a weak constitution. Most likely, because of her growing up in the streets. Her body didn't receive proper nutrition fit for her age, and we have no idea what kind of foods and sickness she was exposed to..."

Duncan and Flora, even the doctor himself knew that objective explanation didn't even help the awful feeling spiraling inside the Duke.

"She will wake up, Your Grace." The physician just ended his check-up. "She will." Caleb went closer to him and patted his back as a small form of comfort.

That's all the comfort they could give to Anthony.

Afterwards, the physician left, and Anthony went to his usual spot close to Lottie and wringing a small cloth from a basin half-full of warm water.

"Your Grace, I will continue that for you—" Flora awkwardly offered but Anthony rejected her.

"It's fine. You can attend to your other duties." Then, he wiped Lottie's face slowly.

Worry painted Duncan and Flora's faces even more.

"But your grace, you need rest too. It's not good for you to continue without sleep and proper meals. Let us take care of the young lady—"

"You are dismissed." Anthony cut Duncan off with a small smile. "You can have the day off for today, okay?"

"...Understood." After a few seconds, Duncan and Flora resisted no more. They bowed before leaving the room and closing the door.

All that was left was sounds of Lottie's breathing and cloth being wringed out.

Anthony didn't open his mouth while he was wiping his daughter's forehead to cool down her temperature.

He did it repeatedly to the point his fingers wrinkled from being overly exposed to water.

When the basin cooled down, that was the only moment he stopped. He sighed as he put the cloth at the rim of the basin.

After that, he turned his attention back to Lottie who was now awake and staring at him.

"Charlotte...!"

He tried to touch her hand but stopped midway.

'I can't...' His guilt resurfaced, threatening to mix with the turmoil he already had inside. 'I'm not deserving...'

"Wow, what a nice dream." Lottie beamed. "I have my dad with me here. You look so handsome hehe."

A small chuckle escaped from her and even from Anthony. 'She is too sick to notice this is real.' But his smile soon died down.

Guilt was too powerful even for a Blessed like him.

"Too bad this is only a dream. You don't like me after all."

"What? No! I..." He couldn't continue his words. After all, one part of him did wish she wasn't born.

Oh, he felt like crying again.

"If this is a dream, can I be selfish?" Lottie weakly touched his hand. He flinched for a bit.

"Finally, I got to see you face to face. I always dream of seeing you." Her eyes started to water yet her smile widened.

"I was always alone. Nobody wanted me but the thought that I belong to someone, to a family makes me so happy. Thank you, dad. Thank you so much."

"W-Why..." Anthony's voice cracked. "Why are you saying thank you? I have never given you anything at all. Nothing at all..."

"You did. You exist. How could I ask for more?" Lottie's tears stained her cheeks. "Even though I was result of a rape, you brought me home, you fed me and dressed me. Dad, you are so kind to me."

"No..." Anthony shook his head and bit his lips. "I'm not kind."

"You deserve so much love, dad. You deserve everything. Even if it means me disappearing so you can be happy and not remember your past, let it happen. If the heavens forbid that, I am ready to run away again if you want me to, dad. I am ready."

"No, no no. I won't ask that. I will never..." Anthony choked on his own heavy emotions.

"Dad..." Lottie's other hand touched his cheeks and smiled. "It was never your fault., remember that. Scr*w everyone who says otherwise. It's not your fault and—"

Lottie squeezed her father's trembling hands.

"I am proud of you for surviving. I am so proud of you..." And with that, Lottie's eyes closed, and she went back to her sleeping state.

It might just be her high fever that woke her up suddenly or maybe, gods playing with them and enjoying seeing them in anguish because this time, even Anthony broke down and held Lottie's hands, while kneeling beside her bed.

All the eight years' worth of pain, he cried out loudly.

He remembered how he swallowed all the invalidating accusations he received for a situation he never desired. The tears he hid behind his smiles when no one believed his side.

Lottie's words resounded deep inside his mind.

No one, not even his father told him those words but only his child, the very child who was born out of rape.

Only she, the existence he didn't want, believed and loved him.

"Thank you, Charlotte. Thank you so much..."