Sober || Lestappen

denial

The kiss lasted for some seconds but I pulled back immediately. Don't get me wrong it's not that I didn't enjoy it. But deep inside I knew that it wasn't a right thing to happen. Charles has a girlfriend and I am just me. I don't have a girlfriend but I have never questioned my sexuality before.

I mean the only thing I know is that girls love boys and boys love girls. Teenagers tend to question their sexuality but I never had the time to do so. Drawbacks of wanting to become a f1 driver I guess.

I looked at Charles who seemed like he had regretted what he just did. For the first time during all the moments we have spent together, I couldn't really tell if he was drunk or not. It felt like the kiss helped him sober up.

"Charles you are drunk, just don't.." I managed to say. He was staring at me as if he couldn't understand what I am saying. I helped him lie down and went to my bed, turning off the lights when I was finally comfortable.

It's not that I was able to sleep. My mind kept reminding me of the feeling of his lips touching mine. Earth to Max once again. It's all in your head go to sleep bud.

I barely slept. I woke up early in the morning and looked beside me. Charles was sleeping peacefully on his bed. I don't get the reason why I have to be the mature one. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom splashing some water on my face.

I stared in the mirror, reminding myself what happened some hours ago. Great. I'll be thinking about him all day. Not because we are rivals. But because of a stupid kiss. Experience has taught me that the best way to go through this, is distance.

We don't have to fly together this time. I don't think that he will mind travelling alone. I need to clear up my mind. Without a second thought, I went back to the bedroom, grabbed workout clothes and decided to go out for a running session.

I left the room but as I walked across the corridor I bumped into Daniel. "What's up mate, you didn't use to wake up early when we were teammates.." he said. You are so right Daniel.

"I couldn't sleep properly Daniel, so I decided to go out for a run. Do you want to join..?" I asked. Daniel gave me a big smile. "Yes sure why not mate. However what's bothering you..?" he asked.

What am I supposed to say? Oh yes Charles and I kissed yesterday? That he was drunk and that I got scared? Or that I don't even know how to face him after what happened because I don't know if it was the alcohol in him speaking.

"Just race stress you know.." I said "oh yes man I know.." he replied but he didn't look like he believed me. We passed the reception and started running across the hotel. I felt better immediately.

Daniel has his way with words. He always makes me smile. After half and hour we decided to go back to the hotel. I said goodbye to him and walked to my hotel room. I am not ready to face Charles again. I really hope that he magically disappeared.

I was lucky this time. I didn't see him inside. His bed was a mess and his things were still there but at least he wasn't around or so I thought. I put on my headphones and started picking up my things.

I never realised that Charles was just in the bathroom. Or that he was watching me the whole time. I turned around to go get my stuff from the bathroom and I almost shouted when I saw him.

"I didn't know that you were here.." I managed to say. "Oh I am sorry I didn't mean to scare you.." Charles replied "Are you leaving already..?" he added. "Yeah we have separate flights this time.." I said. I noticed that my tone was cold and strict but I didn't bother to do anything about it.

"Oh, do you need help with your suitcase..?" he asked. "No I am good thank you, I was just about to go get my things from the bathroom.." I said. Charles sounded hurt.