Be Better, Or stay Bitter. Self Love Journey.

The Lost Hope

In school, I would always feel small. Because children would abuse me physically and mentally. They made me feel like im worth nothing. I did terrible at school. My writing, reading and learning skills were quite weak because of my disease. I would also be quite upset when I would never ever win any silly school competitions or school lottery that would come once a year. Not only that, everyone had their own hobby and sports they enjoyed. Me on the other hand, couldn't enjoy anything. I would either get very easily tired, or I would either lose interest which made me feel worse about myself.

My father used to live close to the school, and it would tear his heart apart seeing me in the condition I was in. Therefore, he presented me to the new neighbour next door. New neighbours had moved in with two girls about my age. Their names were Penelope and Mary. We became well of friends and we even ended up going to the same school. I started becoming better friends with them and I would start hanging out with them all the time at school. However, after some time of hanging out with them, my teacher tried to seperate us. What a rubbish teacher I had. Who was she to decide who I can or cannot be with?

She would always seperate me from them because she wanted me to hang out with girls that went to my class. Penelope and Mary were a year older than me so they didn't go to the same class as me. I was furoius. The only friends I had, the only hope I had on making friends, got ruined by my teacher who would get complains from girls in my class that I never hang out with them. Why would my teacher never listen to me?! Why would my teachers always listen to others voice and mute mine?! How couldn't she see that all the girls in my class were mean to me and complained to the teacher just to ruin things for me?!

This whole drama about me hanging out with girls that were a year older than me, became so big that the teachers had started bothering my mother about me not hanging out with my class! The teachers would love to control me around. For example, if I wanted to visit my dad who lived 100 meters away from my school, it was a must to ask my principal for permission to go and visit him. Who is she to decide if I can or cannot visit my own father?!

After months of fighting about me hanging out with people that went outside my class, I finally got to hang out with Penelope and Mary again. However, we had been having so much of a distance between each other, that they had been finding a new friend and they had forgotten me. Their new friend would also treat me poorly. But whenever I let them know about his behaviour, they would get mad at me and think that I was lying. Thanks to my teachers, the only hope I had in making good friends that matched me, was lost.