Be Better, Or stay Bitter. Self Love Journey.

His True Colours

After I gave him a second chance, our bond grew stronger and we became more comfortable with each other. My love for him grew bigger every day and I loved him with all my heart. There was one thing I didn't like about him tho, I didn't like the fact that he drank and vaped underage. I also didn't like his friends that he talked about, they sounded like bad influence.

He told me that all of that was past and that he had changed for good. He even promised me that he had stopped doing all that. In case you didn't know, I take promises very seriously. When someone promises me something, they are going to keep it no matter what.

While our bond grew, so did his jealousy. He would be jealous of me having guy friends and he forced me to block all of them from my media and wanted me to stop hanging out with them. I didn't like this at all and I found this really unfair. Because even tho he promised he would block all girls on his snap, he still had tons of them and he kept adding and accepting many girls friend request. I told him that this was unfair and he kept repeating "babe none of them wants to fuck me, but your guy friends does want to fuck you, so it's different".

One day, he started getting so sick of me saying "no" to block them, that he started punching holes in the wall. I got freaked out and immediately started listening to all his orders. I blocked all my guy friends, even the guys I had been friends with since childhood. But that wasn't enough. I had to show him proof that I had blocked them. And then he got mad because I apparently took ages to show him my phone. He meant that I was lying to him. One time, he even threatened me with suicide when he somehow found out that I was secretly planning to invite one of my guy friends over to play board games! After that, our relationship went downhill.

He started blaming everything on me. I caught him drinking and I got furious at him because he had promised me not to do it. And then, he blamed it on me by saying "it is your fault, you stress me out a lot which causes me to drink".

Whenever we would spend time together I would always end up going home with shaky hands and teary eyes. He would also start saying stuff like "it was a mistake being with you" or "don't text me for 2 weeks". He would also at some point start comparing me to his ex! He started distancing me more and more. Whenever I would want his attention he would say "stop texting me I'm with my friends" or "I have a life out of Snapchat stop texting me". He stopped being there for me when I really needed him. I got depressed and devastated. However, one day, he started texting me regularly and he was being so so loving. He would write me long love paragraphs and he kept repeating how I was the bestest person he had ever met etc. However, later that same day, he said "oh by the way babe, I have a girl best friend named Marie".