Eleutheromania

11)

I CLIMBED OUT ON THE DECK and said, "wow."
    We had landed near the summit of a forested hill. A complex of white buildings, like a museum or a university, nestled in a grove of pines to the left. Below them spread the city of Atlanta—a cluster of brown and silver downtown skyscrapers two miles away, rising from what looked like an endless flat sprawl of highways, railroad tracks, houses, and green swathes of forest.
    "Ah, lovely spot." Coach Hedge inhaled the morning air. "Good choice, Valdez."
    Leo shrugged. "I just picked a tall hill. That's a presidential library or something over there. At least that's what Festus says."
    "I don't know about that!" Hedge barked. "But do you realize what happened on this hill? Frank Zhang, you should know!"
    Frank flinched. "I should?"
    "A son of Ares stood here!" Hedge cried indignantly.
    "I'm Roman...so Mars, actually."
    "Whatever! Famous spot in the American Civil War!"
    "I'm Canadian, actually."
    I snort shaking my head.
    "Whatever! General Sherman, Union leader. He stood on this hill watching the city of Atlanta burn. Cut a path of destruction all the way from here to the sea. Burning, looting, pillaging—now there was a demigod!"
    Frank inched away from the satyr. "Uh, okay."
    "Anyway," Percy said, "let's try not to burn down the city this time."
    The coach looked disappointed. "All right. But where to?"
    Percy pointed toward downtown. "When in doubt, start in the middle."
    Catching a ride there was easier than we thought. The four of us headed to the presidential library—which turned out to be the Carter Center—and asked the staff if they could call a taxi or give them directions to the nearest bus stop. Percy could have summoned Blackjack, but he was reluctant to ask the pegasus for help so soon after their last disaster. Frank didn't want to polymorph into anything. And besides, I was kind of hoping to travel like a regular mortal for a change.
One of the librarians, whose name was Esther, insisted on driving us personally. She was so nice about it, I thought she must be a monster in disguise; but Hedge pulled me aside and assured me that Esther smelled like a normal human.
    "With a hint of potpourri," he said. "Cloves. Rose petals. Tasty!"
    We piled into Esther's big black Cadillac and drove toward downtown. Esther was so tiny, she could barely see over the steering wheel; but that didn't seem to bother her. She muscled her car through traffic while regaling us with stories about the crazy families of Atlanta—the old plantation owners, the founders of Coca-Cola, the sports stars, and the CNN news people. She sounded so knowledgeable that I decided to try my luck.
    "Uh, so, Esther," I said, "here's a hard question for you. Salt water in Atlanta. What's the first thing that comes to mind?"
    The old lady chuckled. "Oh, sugar. That's easy. Whale sharks!"            
Frank, Percy and I exchanged looks.
    "Whale sharks?" Frank asked nervously. "You have those in Atlanta?"
    "At the aquarium, sugar," Esther said. "Very famous! Right downtown. Is that where you wanted to go?"
    "Yes," Percy said. "That's where we're going."
    Esther dropped us at the main entrance, where a line was already forming. She insisted on giving us her cell phone number for emergencies, money for a taxi ride back to the Carter Center, and a jar of homemade peach preserves, which for some reason she kept in a box in her trunk. Frank stuck the jar in his backpack and thanked Esther, who had already switched from calling him sugar to son.
    As she drove away, Frank said, "Are all people in Atlanta that nice?"
    Hedge grunted. "Hope not. I can't fight them if they're nice. Let's go beat up some whale sharks. They sound dangerous!"
    It hadn't occurred to any of us that we might have to pay admission, or stand in line behind a bunch of families and kids from summer camps.
    Looking at the elementary schoolers in their colorful T-shirts from various day camps, I felt a twinge of sadness. I should be at Camp Half-Blood right now, settling into my cabin for the summer, teaching sword-fighting lessons in the arena, planning pranks on the other counselors. These kids had no idea just how crazy a summer camp could be.
    Percy sighed. "Well, I guess we wait in line. Anybody have money?"
    Frank checked his pockets. "Three denarii from Camp Jupiter. Five dollars Canadian."
    I pulled out my empty pockets. "Nothing, I usually don't bring money to fights."
    Hedge patted his gym shorts and pulled out what he found. "Three quarters, two dimes, a rubber band and—score! A piece of celery."
    He started munching on the celery, eyeing the change and the rubber band like they might be next.
    "Great," Percy said.
    "Welp, guess we will have to break in," I beginning but then, a woman in a blue-and-green Georgia Aquarium shirt came up to them, smiling brightly.
    "Ah, VIP visitors!" She had perky dimpled cheeks, thick-framed glasses, braces, and frizzy black hair pulled to the sides in pigtails, so that even though she was probably in her late twenties, she looked like a schoolgirl nerd—sort of cute, but sort of odd. Along with her Georgia Aquarium polo shirt, she wore dark slacks and black sneakers, and she bounced on the balls of her feet like she simply couldn't contain her energy. Her name tag read KATE.
    "You have your payment, I see," she said. "Excellent!"
    "What?" Percy asked.
    Kate scooped the three denarii out of Frank's hand. "Yes, that's fine. Right this way!"
    She spun and trotted off toward the main entrance.
    Percy looked at Coach Hedge, Frank and I. "A trap?"
    "Probably," Frank said.
    "She's not mortal," Hedge said, sniffing the air. "Probably some sort of goat-eating, demigod- destroying fiend from Tartarus."
    "No doubt," Percy agreed.
    "Awesome." Hedge grinned. "Let's go."
    Kate got us past the ticket queue and into the aquarium with no problem.
    "Right this way." Kate grinned at Percy. "It's a wonderful exhibit. You won't be disappointed. So rare we get VIPs."
    "Uh, you mean demigods?" Frank asked.
    Kate winked at him impishly and put a finger to her mouth. "So over here is the cold-water experience, with your penguins and beluga whales and whatnot. And over there...well, those are some fish, obviously."
    For an aquarium worker, she didn't seem to know much or care much about the smaller fish. We passed one huge tank full of tropical species, and when Frank pointed to a particular fish and asked what it was, Kate said, "Oh, those are the yellow ones."
    We passed the gift shop. Frank slowed down to check out a clearance table with clothes and toys.
    "Take what you want," Kate told him.
    Frank blinked. "Really?"
    "Of course! You're a VIP!"
    Frank hesitated. Then he stuffed some T-shirts in his backpack.            
"Dude," Percy said, "what are you doing?"
    "She said I could," Frank whispered.
    I hit Percy's chest, "leave the boy alone."
    He looked at me. "I don't doubt you will go searching for something."
    I shrug smirking at him and grabbed a shirt and threw it at him. "This is perfect for you."
    He looked at it and his jaw clenched. The shirt said, 'I'm a fish because I can breathe underwater.'
    Frank walked in between us. "Besides, I need more clothes. I didn't pack for a long trip!"
    He added a snow globe to his stash, which didn't seem like clothing to me. Then Frank picked up a braided cylinder about the size of a candy bar.
    He squinted at it. "What is—?"
    "Chinese handcuffs," Percy said.
    Frank, who was Chinese Canadian, looked offended. "How is this Chinese?"
    "I don't know," Percy said. "That's just what it's called. It's like a gag gift."
    "Come along, boys!" Kate called from across the hall.
    "I'll show you later," Percy promised.
    "He'll show you how its done, don't worry," Percy hit the back of my head and I had a grin on my face. Frank's face turned red. I moaned and Percy covered my mouth.
    "Alister!"
    I moaned again and licked Percy's hand.
    He pulled away in disgust. "We can not take you anywhere."
    Frank stuffed the handcuffs in his backpack, and we kept walking.
We passed through an acrylic tunnel. Fish swam over our heads.
    I put my arm on Percy's shoulders and leaned over so our head touched a little. "You sure about this?"
    Percy didn't answer but he wrapped his arm around my waist.
    We emerged in a viewing room awash with blue light. On the other side of a glass wall was the biggest aquarium tank I had ever seen. Cruising in circles were dozens of huge fish, including two spotted sharks, each twice my size. They were fat and slow, with open mouths and no teeth.
    "Whale sharks," Coach Hedge growled. "Now we shall battle to the death!"
    Kate giggled. "Silly satyr. Whale sharks are peaceful. They only eat plankton."
    I scowled. I wondered how Kate knew the coach was a satyr. Hedge was wearing pants and specially fitted shoes over his hooves, like satyrs usually did to blend in with mortals. His baseball cap covered his horns. The more Kate giggled and acted friendly, the more I didn't like her; but Coach Hedge didn't seem fazed.
    "Peaceful sharks?" the coach said with disgust. "What's the point of that?"
    Frank read the plaque next to the tank. "The only whale sharks in captivity in the world," he mused. "That's kind of amazing."
    I let go of Percy getting ready for anything.
    "Yes, and these are small," Kate said. "You should see some of my other babies out in the wild."
    "Your babies?" Frank asked.
    Judging from the wicked glint in Kate's eyes, I was pretty sure I didn't want to meet Kate's babies.
    "So, Kate," Percy said, "we're looking for a guy...I mean a god, named Phorcys. Would you happen to know him?"
    Kate snorted. "Know him? He's my brother. That's where we're going, sillies. The real exhibits are right through here."
    She gestured at the far wall. The solid black surface rippled, and another tunnel appeared, leading through a luminous purple tank.
    Kate strolled inside. I took and breath and was the first one to follow her in.
    As soon as we entered, Coach Hedge whistled. "Now that's interesting."
    Gliding above ua were multicolored jellyfish the size of trash cans, each with hundreds of tentacles that looked like silky barbed wire. One jellyfish had a paralyzed ten-foot-long swordfish tangled in its grasp. The jellyfish slowly wrapped its tendrils tighter and tighter around its prey.
    Kate beamed at Coach Hedge. "You see? Forget the whale sharks! And there's much more."
    Kate led us into an even larger chamber, lined with more aquariums. On one wall, a glowing red sign proclaimed: DEATH IN THE DEEP SEAS! Sponsored by Monster Donut.
    I had to read the sign twice because of my dyslexia, and then twice more to let the message sink in. "Monster Donut?"
    "Oh, yes," Kate said. "One of our corporate sponsors."
    In one aquarium, a dozen hippocampi—horses with the tails of fish—drifted aimlessly. I had seen many hippocampi in the wild. I'd even ridden a few; but I had never seen any in an aquarium.
    "This isn't right," Percy muttered.
    I turned and saw something even worse. At the bottom of a smaller tank, two Nereids—female sea spirits—sat cross-legged, facing each other, playing a game of Go Fish. They looked incredibly bored. Their long green hair floated listlessly around their faces. Their eyes were half closed.
    Percy glared at Kate. "How can you keep them here?"
    "I know." Kate sighed. "They aren't very interesting. We tried to teach them some tricks, but with no luck, I'm afraid. I think you'll like this tank over here much better."
    Percy started to protest, but Kate had already moved on. I grabbed Percy's forearm and moved him squeezing his arm telling him to move on.
    "Holy mother of goats!" cried Coach Hedge. "Look at these beauties!"
    He was gawking at two sea serpents—thirty-foot-long monsters with glowing blue scales and jaws that could have bitten a whale shark in half. In another tank, peeking out from its cement cave, was a squid the size of an eighteen-wheeler, with a beak like a giant bolt cutter.
    A third tank held a dozen humanoid creatures with sleek seal bodies, doglike faces, and human hands. They sat on the sand at the bottom of the tank, building things out of Legos, though the creatures seemed just as dazed as the Nereids.
    "Are those—?" Percy struggled to form the question.
    "Telkhines?" Kate said. "Yes! The only ones in captivity."
    "But they fought for Kronos in the last war!" Percy said. "They're dangerous!"
    Kate rolled her eyes. "Well, we couldn't call it 'Death in the Deep Seas' if these exhibits weren't dangerous. Don't worry. We keep them well sedated."
    "Sedated?" Frank asked. "Is that legal?"
    Kate appeared not to have heard. She kept walking, pointing out other exhibits. Percy looked back at the telkhines. I knew this was probably hard for him the most because he is a part of the sea as well.
    "And these sea monsters," Kate narrated up ahead, "can grow five hundred feet long in the deep ocean. They have over a thousand teeth. And these? Their favorite food is demigod—"
    "Demigod?" Frank yelped.
    "But they will eat whales or small boats, too." Kate turned to Percy and blushed. "Sorry...I'm such a monster nerd! I'm sure you know all this, being the son of Poseidon, and all."
    My ears were ringing like alarm bells. I didn't like how much Kate knew about us. I didn't like the way she casually tossed out information about drugging captive creatures or which of her babies liked to devour demigods.
    "Who are you?" he demanded. "Does Kate stand for something?"
    "Kate?" She looked momentarily confused. Then she glanced at her name tag. "Oh..." She laughed. "No, it's—"
    "Hello!" said a new voice, booming through the aquarium.
    A small man scuttled out of the darkness. He walked sideways on bowed legs like a crab, his back hunched, his arms raised on either side like he was holding invisible plates.
    He wore a wet suit that was several horrible shades of green. Glittery silver words printed down the side read: PORKY'S FOLLIES. A headset microphone was clamped over his greasy wiry hair. His eyes were milky blue, one higher than the other, and though he smiled, he didn't look friendly—more like his face was being peeled back in a wind tunnel.
    "Visitors!" the man said, the word thundering through the microphone. He had a DJ's voice, deep and resonant, which did not at all match his appearance. "Welcome to Phorcys's Follies!"
    He swept his arms in one direction, as if directing our attention to an explosion. Nothing happened.
    "Curse it," the man grumbled. "Telkhines, that's your cue! I wave my hands, and you leap energetically in your tank, do a synchronized double spin, and land in pyramid formation. We practiced this!"
    The sea demons paid him no attention.
    Coach Hedge leaned toward the crab man and sniffed his glittery wet suit. "Nice outfit."
    He didn't sound like he was kidding. Of course, the satyr wore gym uniforms for fun.
    "Thank you!" The man beamed. "I am Phorcys."
    Frank shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Why does your suit say Porky?"
    Phorcys snarled. "Stupid uniform company! They can't get anything right."
    Kate tapped her name tag. "I told them my name was Keto. They misspelled it as Kate. My brother...well, now he's Porky."
    "I am not!" the man snapped. "I'm not even a little porky. The name doesn't work with Follies, either. What kind of show is called Porky's Follies? But you folks don't want to hear us complain. Behold, the wondrous majesty of the giant killer squid!"
    He gestured dramatically toward the squid tank. This time, fireworks shot off in front of the glass right on cue, sending up geysers of golden sparkles. Music swelled from the loudspeakers. The lights brightened and revealed the wondrous majesty of an empty tank.
    The squid had apparently skulked back into its cave.
    "Curse it!" Phorcys yelled again. He wheeled on his sister. "Keto, training the squid was your job. Juggling, I said. Maybe a bit of flesh-rending for the finale. Is that too much to ask?"
    "He's shy," Keto said defensively. "Besides, each of his tentacles has sixty-two razorlike barbs that have to be sharpened daily." She turned toward Frank. "Did you know the monstrous squid is the only beast known to eat demigods whole, armor and all, without getting indigestion? It's true!"
    Frank stumbled away from her, hugging his gut as if making sure he was still in one piece.
    "Keto!" Porky snapped—literally, since he clicked his fingers to his thumbs like crab claws. "You'll bore our guests with so much information. Less education, more entertainment! We've discussed this."
    "But—"
    "No buts! We're here to present 'Death in the Deep Seas!' Sponsored by Monster Donut!"
    The last words reverberated through the room with extra echo. Lights flashed. Smoke clouds billowed from the floor, making donut-shaped rings that smelled like real donuts.
    "Available at the concession stand," Phorcys advised. "But you've spent your hard-earned denarii to get the VIP tour, and so you shall! Come with me!"
    "Um, hold it," Percy said.
    Phorcys's smile melted in an ugly way. "Yes?"
    "You're a sea god, aren't you?" Percy asked. "Son of Gaea?"
    The crab man sighed. "Five thousand years, and I'm still known as Gaea's little boy. Never mind that I'm one of the oldest sea gods in existence. Older than your upstart father, by the way. I'm god of the hidden depths! Lord of watery terrors! Father of a thousand monsters! But, no...nobody even knows me. I make one little mistake, supporting the Titans in their war, and I'm exiled from the ocean—to Atlanta, of all places."
    "We thought the Olympians said Atlantis," Keto explained. "Their idea of a joke, I guess, sending us here instead."
    I narrowed my eyes. "And you're a goddess?"
    "Keto, yes!" She smiled happily. "Goddess of sea monsters, naturally! Whales, sharks, squids, and other giant sea life, but my heart always belonged to the monsters. Did you know that young sea serpents can regurgitate the flesh of their victims and keep themselves fed for up to six years on the same meal? It's true!"
    Frank was still clutching his stomach like he was going to be sick.
    Coach Hedge whistled. "Six years? That's fascinating."
    "I know!" Keto beamed.
    "And how exactly does a killer squid rend the flesh from its victims?" Hedge asked. "I love nature."
    "Oh, well—"
    "Stop!" Phorcys demanded. "You're ruining the show! Now, witness our Nereid gladiators fight to the death!"
    A mirrored disco ball descended into the Nereid exhibit, making the water dance with multicolored light. Two swords fell to the bottom and plunked in the sand. The Nereids ignored them and kept playing Go Fish.
    "Curse it!" Phorcys stomped his legs sideways.
    Keto grimaced at Coach Hedge. "Don't mind Porky. He's such a windbag. Come with me, my fine satyr. I'll show you full-color diagrams of the monsters' hunting habits."
    "Excellent!"
    Before I could object, Keto led Coach Hedge away through a maze of aquarium glass, leaving Frank, Percy and I alone with the crabby sea god.
    Percy and I exchanged a nervous look with Frank. This felt like a divide-and-conquer strategy. I didn't see any way the encounter was going to end well. Part of me wanted to attack Phorcys now—at least that might give us the element of surprise—but we hadn't found out any useful information yet. I wasn't sure I could find Coach Hedge again. I wasn't even sure I could find the exit.
    Phorcys must've read my expression.
    "Oh, it's fine!" the god assured me. "Keto might be a little boring, but she'll take good care of your friend. And honestly, the best part of the tour is still to come!"
    "So..." Percy managed. "Dionysus sent us here."
    "Bacchus," Frank corrected.
    "Right." I could tell Percy was annoyed. "The wine god. Whatever." He looked at Phorcys. "Bacchus said you might know what your mom Gaea is up to, and these twin giant brothers of yours—Ephialtes and Otis. And if you happen to know anything about this Mark of Athena—"
    "Bacchus thought I would help you?" Phorcys asked.
    "Well, yeah," Percy said. "I mean, you're Phorcys. Everybody talks about you."
    Phorcys tilted his head so that his mismatched eyes almost lined up. "They do?"
    "Of course. Don't they, Frank? Alister?"
    "Oh...sure!" Frank said. "People talk about you all the time."
    "Mmmh," I hummed nodding.
    "What do they say?" the god asked.
    Frank looked uncomfortable. "Well, you have great pyrotechnics. And a good announcer's voice. And, um, a disco ball—"
    "It's true!" Phorcys clacked his fingers and thumbs excitedly. "I also have the largest collection of captive sea monsters in the world!"
    "And you know stuff," I added. "Like about the twins and what they're up to."
    "The twins!" Phorcys made his voice echo. Sparklers blazed to life in front of the sea serpent tank. "Yes, I know all about Ephialtes and Otis. Those wannabes! They never fit in with the other giants. Too puny—and those snakes for feet."
    "Snakes for feet?"
    "Yes, yes," Phorcys said impatiently. "They knew they couldn't get by on their strength, so they decided to go for drama—illusions, stage tricks, that sort of thing. You see, Gaea shaped her giant children with specific enemies in mind. Each giant was born to kill a certain god. Ephialtes and Otis...well, together they were sort of the anti-Dionysus."
    "So...they want to replace all wine with cranberry juice or something?"
    The sea god snorted. "Nothing like that! Ephialtes and Otis always wanted to do things better, flashier, more spectacular! Oh, of course they wanted to kill Dionysus. But first they wanted to humiliate him by making his revelries look tame!"
    Frank glanced at the sparklers. "By using stuff like fireworks and disco balls?"
    Phorcys's mouth stretched into that wind tunnel smile. "Exactly! I taught the twins everything they know, or at least I tried to. They never listened. Their first big trick? They tried to reach Olympus by piling mountains on top of one another. It was just an illusion, of course. I told them it was ridiculous. 'You should start small,' I said. 'Sawing each other in half, pulling gorgons out of a hat. That sort of thing. And matching sequined outfits. Twins need those!'"
    "Good advice," I agreed. "And now the twins are—"
    "Oh, preparing for their doomsday show in Rome," Phorcys sneered. "It's one of Mother's silly ideas. They're keeping some prisoner in a large bronze jar." He turned toward Frank. "You're a child of Ares, aren't you? You've got that smell. The twins imprisoned your father the same way, once."
    "Child of Mars," Frank corrected. "Wait...these giants trapped my dad in a bronze jar?"
    "Yes, another stupid stunt," said the sea god. "How can you show off your prisoner if he's in a bronze jar? No entertainment value. Not like my lovely specimens!"
    He gestured to the hippocampi, who were bonking their heads apathetically against the glass.
    "You said this—this doomsday show was Gaea's idea?"
    "Well...Mother's plans always have lots of layers." He laughed. "The earth has layers! I suppose that makes sense!"
    "Onions have layer!" I said and Phorcys nods at me being the only now understand the reference. Percy and Frank looked at me confused. "I—" should I be scared that Phorcy knows or disappointed that no one else knows.
    "Uh-huh," Percy said ignoring me and looking away. "And so her plan..."
    "Oh, she's put out a general bounty on some group of demigods," Phorcys said. "She doesn't really care who kills them, as long as they're killed. Well...I take that back. She was very specific that two must be spared. One boy and one girl. Tartarus only knows why. At any rate, the twins have their little show planned, hoping it will lure these demigods to Rome. I suppose the prisoner in the jar is a friend of theirs or some such. That, or perhaps they think this group of demigods will be foolish enough to come into their territory searching for the Mark of Athena." Phorcys elbowed Frank in the ribs. "Ha! Good luck with that, eh?"
    Frank laughed nervously. "Yeah. Ha-ha. That would be really dumb because, uh..."
    Phorcys narrowed his eyes.
    I played with my necklaces as if I was just scratching my neck. Even this old sea god must be smart enough to realize we were the demigods with the bounty on our heads.
    But Phorcys just grinned and elbowed Frank again. "Ha! Good one, child of Mars. I suppose you're right. No point talking about it. Even if the demigods found that map in Charleston, they'd never make it to Rome alive!"
    "Yes, the MAP IN CHARLESTON," Frank said loudly, giving Percy a wide-eyed look to make sure he hadn't missed the information. He couldn't have been more obvious if he had held up a large sign that read CLUE!!!!!
    "But enough boring educational stuff!" Phorcys said. "You've paid for the VIP treatment. Won't you please let me finish the tour? The three denarii entrance fee is nonrefundable, you know."
    "Afterward," Percy said, "can we ask questions?"
    "Of course! I'll tell you everything you need to know." Phorcys clapped his hands twice. On the wall under the glowing red sign, a new tunnel appeared, leading into another tank.
    "Walk this way!" Phorcys scuttled sideways through the tunnel.            
      Frank scratched his head. "Do we have to—?" He turned sideways.
     "It's just a figure of speech, man," Percy said. "Come on."

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