CRUELEST SUMMER

23

Lavender pov

December 12th/13th 2014

Time has passed so slowly yet so quickly, it feels as if Taylor and I have been talking for years since the separation yet it's only been months. I worry that every day she might leave again, find someone better, smarter- anything. We haven't made anything official, all I know is that we're more than friends.

But I want the title- the label. I want everyone to know she's mine and I'm hers. Not just to play around.

I don't know how long it's going to stay in my system- I'm scared to lose her. Scared to move fast. But maybe that's for the better, so I don't take anything for granted- especially her.

Maybe that's why I'm trying to figure out how to ask her if she wants to make it official. I don't know if she wants something huge or just us. Would she even want me to ask her? I shake my head and set the notebook down. I'm overthinking this. We both have feelings for each other- it's as simple as that.

I glance out the window of my apartment, my favorite spot is the reading nook. It was the perfect size. It could comfortably fit two people. It was padded and I added blankets and pillows to give it more of a cozy vibe. I have most of December off because artists don't release music in January so nobody wants to film. I enjoy the time off. Taylor's birthday is tomorrow and Selena texted me to plan out the party.

Another party, as if we just didn't have one last week. I didn't mind too much considering who it was for but I might need to steer clear of the alcohol tomorrow. If it's anything like last week I won't recover.

Taylor told me to stop drinking the wine, I was on my fifth glass and I could barely see straight. I liked the taste of wine. It made my mixed feelings go away and let my body do what it wanted. Which was Taylor. I swayed my way around the room until I found her in the crowd with Sel. Oh, see- a good friend. So slipped into the group and slid my arms around Taylor's body. I felt her momentarily tense up before she noticed me, her body relaxing into mine.

"Hey" she smiles

"Heyyyy" I breathed out

"Oh you so drunk" she snorted

Chatter kept over the music and drowned out our side conversation. I leaned into Taylor more until my body was flush with hers. Her skin set mine on fire. I felt like I was going to internally combust.

"Let's lay off the wine eh" she nods her head.

"Oh Tay don't be like that" I moan

She shoots me a look before pulling me back into her side. We stayed like that for a while before the wine I greedily chugged before walking over here started to hit. My stomach clenched up and I saw more than double. I gripped onto Taylor for the life of me, the last thing I wanted to do was pass out drunk- at her early Christmas party. Who has a Christmas party the first week of December. I felt Taylor shift next to me and I went flying forward. The ground came up so fast that I had no time to react before I came into contact with it. My arm slightly throbbed at the impact.

"Ow" I groaned

I felt Taylor's hands slip around my arms as she pulled me off the floor.

"Come on" Taylor grunted

"Where we going " I asked as half my body sagged onto her.

"To bed"

"No Tay I wanna dance" I pulled back and the room spun.

Her hands stay connected to me as I'm thrown up and suddenly she's carrying me Up the stairs.