amnesia •l.h•

15 •July 19•

hey guys... before y'all kill me for not updating in 12 years, i just want to say i've been really busy with school, and even after school was out, i just had no motivation to write. I've been going through a really rough time for the past few months, but i'm better now and ready to write:)))))) i really want to finish this story so... i'll probably write like 3 chapters and post them all at once to make up for it so yeah... enjoy

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I can't believe it.

Here I am sitting on the subway next to Luke, falling for him all over again.

How could he not have told me that he was more than just my friend?

All those dates, memories, it was him in all of them. I was already in love with him, just like he probably was with me.

And he knew, he knew all along, and he didn't tell me. He made a fool of me.

How could he?

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks, concern evident in his face.

I snap out of my thoughts and decide, if he didn't want to tell me, he wanted to build a relationship bases on lies, then that was his choice. I would just wait, and give him the opportunity to tell me, and if he didn't, then I could end it.

But as for right now, I'll just wait. I'm sure he has a reason for not telling me, right? Whatever the reason is, I can't give up what we have. I'm not sure if I love him or not, but I know that at one point I did, and love is the most important thing, isn't it?

"I'm fine." I smile reassuringly.

He doesn't look convinced, but he nods anyway.

"I think this is my stop." I say, before getting up and leaving without saying goodbye.

I get back to the apartment and go to my room. I should probably call him. I owe him an explanation for just leaving like that without saying anything.

I sigh, picking up my phone and finding his contact. Before I can press the call button though, I get a text from an unknown number.

hey, it's ben. i heard about what happened. r u ok?

I tense after reading the text. Ben?

What does he want? Now that I know it wasn't him in my dreams, I know that I must not have loved him. Not like I loved Luke.

I decide to type a reply.

if you really cared ben, you wouldn't just text me. you would actually come see me, or at least call me for god's sake. i may not remember you but i remember what you did, and i can't ever forgive you. stay out of my life. ok?

I get a reply a few minutes later.

I do care, bri, and i can't stay out of your life. i need to see you. i just flew into ny to see my aunt and i wanted to visit you, i just wanted to talk to you first, before i show up at ur apartment and you slam the door in my face. please let me see you

I decide maybe I should go see him. At least he didn't lie about being my boyfriend. Not that he had the chance, but still. I send him one last message before heading towards the subway once again.

fine. meet me at the cafe on 7th and 55th in 20 minutes

Hitting send, I decide not to call Luke. He should've told me. He just should've. No excuses.

*****************

"I'm so glad you decided to see me." Ben says as I walk over to the table he is currently seated at.

"What do you want, Ben?" I say, not giving in to his tricks that easily.

"I wanted to apologize for what I did."

I laugh, disbelieving. "About a year and a half too late, don't you think? Em told me everything, so don't think you can get away with what you did. You intentionally slept with Tabby right after you told me you loved me, and then you let her ruin my life after I tried to stop her from creating drama over what happened. In fact, 'let' doesn't even cover it. You actually helped the bitch." I snarl.

"And I understand that you probably hate me for it, but after you got in that car accident, I pictured myself without you in my life, and I just couldn't do it. I realized then just how much you mean to me. I only did what I did because I was scared to love you. But I'm ready to own up to it now. I love you, Brinna. Always have. And I'll do whatever it takes to get you back in my life."

My breath hitches in my throat as he tells me this. Could this really be true? Or is it just another one of his games? It has to be. He's playing me again.

I look him dead in the eyes, and whisper "Bullshit."

Then I stand up and walked away.

Luke is waiting for me as soon as I get to my apartment.

"Luke?" I ask, once I see him. "What are you doing here?"

"Did I do something wrong? You just got up and left without saying goodbye, and then I come to your apartment to try and figure it out, and I find out that you're meeting your ex-boyfriend, Ben."

"How did you even know that I was meeting him?"

"You left your phone here." He says, handing it to me.

I look at the screen and see a message from Ben that must have come right after I left to go see him.

ok. see you there:)

"How did you get into the apartment?"

He shrugs. "I know where you keep your spare key."

"That still doesn't give you the right to come in here without my permission and then snoop through my phone." I glare at him.

"Well you didn't answer the door, and I figured you were mad at me, so I let myself in. Then I saw your phone on the table, buzzing with a new text from Ben. I can't believe you, Bri. After all that he did to you."

"What made you think I was mad?!" I exclaim. "You're overreacting, Luke. Just go home."

He looks at me for a few seconds. "What did I do?" He whispers.

I sigh; maybe I should just tell him.

"I was more than just your friend, Luke, wasn't I? Before the accident."

He's silent for a few seconds, before a single tear slips out of his eye.

"I loved you, Bri. And I didn't want to hurt you."

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well that ben thing wasn't really supposed to happen, but i felt like adding drama, and idk it just sort of happened. well anyways, sorry it took so long, but please vote:))))) ily guys