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unedited
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99th Precinct, 9:22 am
"Hey there, Sarge." Jake slid his chair closer to Terry's desk, "Not to pry but I couldn't help but overhear you're going to the doctor? Everything okay?"
Terry slid his chair over to Jake, leaning in to whisper to Jake. "I'm getting a vasectomy."
"My ears are burning." Charles sang, standing up and walking over to the pair, both also getting out of their chairs. "Did someone say 'vasectomy'? I got snipped. No big deal. Just numbs you out from trunk to skunk for a year."
"It's not supposed to." Terry narrowed his eyes at Charles.
"Trunk to skunk?" Jake parroted with a scrunched up face.
"Hold it up." Gina drawled, walking to the group with her phone in one hand and a coffee in the other. "You're gonna let some quack doctor just knife around down there? You are blessed with a great power and you should never snip its wings. You should let it soar."
"Thanks guys, that's enough." Terry ordered, "I don't need any more input."
"Neither does your wife, I guess." Rosa interrupted, high fiving Jake without looking.
"Look, you guys, if Sarge wants to chop off his penis, that's his choice." Neveah announced, taking the coffee cup from Gina's hand with a small kiss to her cheek as a greeting and thanks.
"That's not what a vasectomy is." Terry defended. "If you guys don't get back to work, I'm gonna start firing detectives."
"And blanks!" Amy interrupted, "Sorry, I just never think of jokes."
"Anybody else?" Terry gave up, "This is your last chance."
"Oh, god. No need to be so testes." Gina grinned.
"Guess you won't be manning the 'tip line'" Rosa smirked, high fiving Neveah.
"Sergeant, is this gonna go on your 'sperm-anent record'?" Charles asked, a grin playing on his lips as he tried to look serious.
"Now Playing, Scrotal Recall!" Jake called out in a fake announcer's voice.
~~~~~
99th Precinct, 10:23 am
"The new NYPD commissioner is planning a complete reorganisation of the force." Holt explained before Amy, Rosa, Neveah and Charles, with Gina standing next to him. "But first, he'll be sending a deputy chief to every precinct to conduct a top to bottom evaluation."
"What! When?" Amy panicked, "Are we gonna be graded or is this just some pass/fail garbage?"
"Scale of one to five." Holt replied, almost shrugging.
