HeavyDirtySoul

CHAPTER FOUR

"You should really just talk to her."

"What?" I snap out of my trance and look at Josh.

"Jenna Black. You're staring at her again." He glances towards Jenna who was sitting a couple tables away from us.

"I wasn't staring." I quickly form a lie. "Just looking for a prolonged amount of time."

Josh rolls his eyes. "Go talk to her."

"What do I say?"

"I don't know, just be yourself."

"Myself? Depressed and awkward teenager, got it." I sigh and lay my head on the table. The library was usually a calming place for me. What happened? Oh yeah, Jenna Black happened.

"Aye, don't think like that. You've got this. Just take this book and go over there. Pretend to need help studying or something. I'll be right here the whole time." Josh pushes the book he was reading into my hands.

"Biology? I take chemistry!"

"Go." Josh points towards Jenna and gives me a small push in her direction. I nervously wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans and try my best to keep my heart from beating out of my chest.

"H-hey Jenna." My throat suddenly feels dry. Oh god, I can't do this.

"Oh hey Tyler! What's up?" She smiled and my heart lept to my throat.

"Um I was just wondering if you want to study together?"

"Sure but you've got the wrong book. We take chemistry."

Now I just look fucking stupid. Thanks Joshua.

"Oh man, I just grabbed whatever was left and this was it."

"It's okay, we can share a book. Just grab that chair." I quickly grab the closest chair and sit as close as I can without freaking her out. We spent the rest of lunch studying.

~.~.~

Why does everyone pick on the little guy? Some guy who's name I don't even know, slams me against the lockers.

"Please just leave me alone." I beg.

"Shut the fuck up!" He yells and punches me straight in the mouth. I immediately taste the blood and wince.

"Hey let my fucking brother go!" I hear Josh yell and the guy is ripped off of me. Josh pulls the guy to the ground and punches him right in the face. For a small guy, Josh can get scary.

"Don't fucking touch him again." Josh punches him one last time and comes over to me. "Are you okay?" Josh asks and pulls me away from the scene. I shake my head. I can feel the panic attack coming on. Josh leads me to the nearest bathroom and sits me on the floor. My breath keeps getting stuck in my throat. "Breathe, Tyler. I'm here with you, it'll be okay. Try to breathe."

I try to say that I can't breathe but I lack the ability to form words at the moment.

"Breathe." Josh sits in front of me and began to breathe with me. We sit there for a whole class period just trying to get my breathing back to normal and Josh doesn't complain at all. What did I do to deserve a friend like him?

"Ready to get to class?" Josh holds out a hand to pull me up with. The second I was on my feet, I realized how light headed I am. I would've fallen back down if it isn't for Josh. "Actually, maybe you should go home."

I shake my head. "No, I like Mr. Way's class. I'll be fine." Josh mumbles an okay and latches his arm to my waist to help me stay balanced.

~.~.~

In Mr. Way's class, I mainly lay my head on the cool desk. I'm so spaced out, I miss the bell.

"Come on, Ty." Josh gives me a light poke but I feel sick. Please don't poke again, I will certainly blow up.

"Is he okay?" Mr. Way asks.

"He had a really bad panic attack earlier. I told him to go home but he said no." Josh responds.

Oh no. "Get me a trash can!" I say urgently. Mr. Way quickly grabs the nearest trash can and gives it to me. And like that, the food from my stomach is super pumped out in what I'm sure is record time.

"You're going home Tyler. No arguments. Mental and physical health over school."

I just nod and let Josh help me walk to my car. Josh of course drove while I focus on not hydro pumping chunks of food everywhere. I managed to keep everything down until we get into my house. Once we get into the house, I run to the bathroom and let everything out. I spent probably about ten minutes at that toilet while Josh stood outside the door the whole time. I'd ordered him not to come in here.

When I finished, Josh goes into my wardrobe and picks out some pajamas for me to change into. After I change, Josh has me lay down in bed while he took a seat on my bean bag chair.

Even though we were in the same room, we spend the time before I fall asleep texting each other.