What If I'm Not Enough? (intersex)

chapter fourth

Narrator's pov

T/W; mention of panic attack

four months ago

*THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP*

"UHHHH HARDER, FUCK RIGHT THERE!" "You like that? You like when I put it on you like that?" He moaned while he fucked her harder and harder as the moisture dripped from his body to hers connecting them closer in their unholy affair.

"Yeah, I love it. DON'T STOP!" The girl moaned out as she chased her climax completely oblivious to her surroundings.

She never heard the door unlock and she missed when the door swung open.

She missed the sound of wheels on the hardwood.

She even missed someone calling her name.

"Ry? Love, are you home?" Ashton called out as the sounds of luggage rolled across the floor when she moved her suitcase by the door.

"I know I'm back early. I just couldn't wait to get home, I was missing you, and getting stressed out being away from home so long. So I-"

The only thing she could hear were the sounds of the couch banging into the wall behind them. Their flesh kissing, slapping and beating to the tune of their manic and overexcited drum.

When Ashton arrived home early from her work trip, this was not what she expected to be going on, to say the least.

An audible gasp came from her when she saw her girlfriend spread eagle with her legs wide open as a man was having his way with her in the valedictorian position.

When she heard him speak, anger couldn't have described the feeling that shot through her. She was infuriated.

The lunch she hungrily ate on the 7 hour flight was threatening it's untimely return into her mouth.

"There's no fuckin' way..." she mumbled as she watched the strangers in front of her.

She'd been standing there for almost 5 minutes, just frozen. Her head and her heart were screaming at her to move, to run, to get as far away from here as possible, but her body wouldn't move.

It just wouldn't move.

She tried to make sense of the situation, knowing damn well her fight or flight was encouraging her to fight, even in this moment.

Why did she have to be the one who wanted to save this? Why did she literally have to watch this happen in front of her? In her home that she's been busting her ass for?

She thinks the fuck not.

They had no idea how long she'd been standing there watching them ruin everything she'd worked so hard for.

They didn't care. It's almost like that invisible girl she used to be throughout high school was back. She'd made so much progress, or so she thought.

The longer she stood there, the more clear it became to her that this was her fault. This would never have happened if she didn't jump at the first opportunity to travel.

'Selfish. I deserve this. I knew taking that job would have some kind of consequence. A big fight maybe, but not this. What did I do to deserve this?'

Ashton went through every single emotion of grief in 45 seconds the moment she finally locked eyes with the woman she had devoted her entire life and was planning to propose to.