I never thought that I'd think a person was refreshing, and I'm not talking about that, 'I just took a drink of cold water after playing outside all day long' type of refreshing.
I'm talking about the feeling of fresh bedroom sheets that hug you in...
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Ashton's pov
There was a ringing in my ears for a moment, causing me to close my eyes and inhale deeply. I started seeing flashes of episodes starring me and Joliè. Multiple scenes of different dates, some placing us here in America while others had us gallivanting across the globe. There were scenes of us having breakfast in bed, sporting some beautiful charcoal-colored silk robes, followed by staggering moments caught in prismatic galleries. Luxurious red carpet events seen by front row seats during fashion weeks across the Europe. There were flashes of us in different homes, with different pets, and even different cars. I even saw our beautiful children.
Our children.
As in multiple.
It's funny how something you never considered desiring, can suddenly make you feel an unfamiliar sting. The emotion of curiosity thundering out through your chest, especially when you're least expecting it.
As the montage continued in my head, I felt overwhelmed. I was helplessly trying to pull myself out of my it before the feeling of being poked traveled lightly down my body from the top of my spinal chord to the tips of my fingers.
I could feel the electrical charge reverberating through my molecules, causing me to grow even more irritated at the situation. Knowing full-well I was on the verge of an attack and fighting against my own sense of clarity to prevent it.
It's so frustrating to feel the sensations coming on and understanding there's nothing you can do to stop it sometimes. It's not even like I feel badly about her question, although I would've preferred to be the one who asked first.
It's probably the fact of her asking before i could that's making me feel almost uncomfortable, but only because I'm not the one in control. I fear of the way this will make her feel and perhaps even lead her to change her mind about asking entirely.
I don't want that in the slightest. Even through all of the chaos happening in my mind and the stress I was under.
I still felt giddy.
It seemed like no matter what was going on, Jo and I were always somehow on the same page. Not being able to wait even a month before going exclusive seemed very insane to me in my professional brain, however I don't care.
For once, I'm allowing myself to just not care.
I don't have to make sense of it, or try and find an excuse as to why it's happening. I can choose to live in it. I get to be alive and present in this moment where someone is asking me to be theirs, instead of me feeling like it's my responsibility to do that.
The concept of it all is making me spiral, but in such a way that I know what I want today. Iwant to be spontaneous, I want to get out of my comfort zone. I want to say-.
