[kodachrome]

Breakpoint: Just Friends

My heart has been crying a bit since the day I let my feelings out.
All for nothing but to feel at peace with my own self.
I wonder if you're lying once again.
I also wonder if maybe I'm just wrong for the first time in my life.
Just like saying "I love you" first, it never happened to me before.
Being rejected is also something new to me.
Could I have been so blind?
Maybe your green eyes were looking at me in a sweet way just because they are sweet.
It might be possible that you'd laugh at all of my jokes because you actually think I'm funny.
There's a chance you'd say you rather die in front of the car and pull me away from it to save me just because you want to protect me.
A little insight into the friendship you want to save is that you'd walk on the sidewalk protecting my soul.
Grabbing my hands when there was no need could be an indicator of best friends' love.
Hugging me and pulling me closer to you for a long period of time just means you missed my friendly company.
For me to upload provocative pictures and for you to reply to them are just friendly, flirty comments.
Saying I always look nice no matter what, it's a sign that you love having good looking friends only.
So dumb for me to think that maybe you'd still want me as something more.
And I'll do it again, I'll do it every time, I'll scream my love for you if it's going to lead me somewhere.
Even if I end up feeling miserable and alone, I must put these emotions somewhere else.
Because they can't fit in my heart, my chest is too small.
All of the things you taught me to feel, you show me how to feel, I got lost.
Years passed by, and somehow, my life has a meaning again.
A meaning which you took away from me with that beautiful face.
I wonder if you like me or not, you reply distant, shortly, definite.
It ends there as a friendship, you say.
I can't believe you, and I'm afraid to be wrong.
Days are passing through, no text messages from you.
Uploading pictures so that you don't forget my face.
I miss you so much, my heart cries in pain.
Did I do right by telling you to stay away from me so that I could be able to move on?
How did you manage to move on so fast from me?
Am I that useless to you?
I'd kill myself into questions of self-pity solitude, but I'd rather just lie on my bed, hug my pillow, and cry 'till I die.
As I said before, if you can't see me, then I can't dance anymore.
Trying to show you the best side of me whenever I turn around my head.
It's not worth it because to you, I'm not worth it.
And on my knees, I'm praying to God for forgiveness.
Because no human in this world is worthless of love.
And because I'm in love with you, so I'd rather die than be with someone else.
My heart is all yours.
This feeling won't go anywhere soon.
You replied that you wouldn't be a reason for my heart to ache.
Then why does it keep beating so slowly, so strongly?
Should you be dead in order for me not to feel this pain?
As shiny as a shooting star, you left me burning in love.
Now, all this pure love I had for you will come back to where it belongs.
With my soul.
With my heart.
With my family.
With my friends.
And most importantly.
With myself.