John: Professor.
Harold: Oh, it's you, dear boy and girl. Come in. Come in. And shut the door.
Maddie: What's going on? You leaving?
Harold: Yes, sir and ma'am. Yes I am, sir and ma'am. You know, you know the thing, the thing that is vital without which scholarship cannot proceed, sir and ma'am?
John: No, I don't.
Harold: Not having a bullet in your flipping neck, sir and ma'am. I'm not cut out for this. No, not cut out for this at all.
Maddie: (laughing) Nope.
Harold: They're fucking savages! Savages!
John: I think we all are.
Harold: Not me, sir and ma'am. I'm from Connecticut. I'm a professor at Yale! I write books! I do not deserve to die out here! Where's my tincture? Oh yes.
[He mainlines some of that sweet, sweet coke to calm down.]
Maddie: You okay, Professor?
Harold: Dandy, sir and ma'am. Just dandy. (hears gunshot) Oh heavens above!
Dutch: Is that you, John and Maddie?
John: Hello, Dutch.
Dutch: I think that's what they call, two for the price of one out here in this wonderful place!
Maddie: Maybe so, Dutch.
Dutch: You and your friend there the professor... We're gonna kill the both of ya.
John: Why you want to do a thing like that?
Dutch: I don't know, sport, I guess.
Maddie: Fair enough. Why don't I come out there, we fight. Let the professor go and send your boys back to their families?
Dutch: Well that, that sounds like a beautiful plan, John and Maddie. Only problem is, my boys here, they already lost their families a long time ago. We aren't thieves, John and Maddie, we're fighting for something. A bit like you, only we're fighting for an idea, not just for ourselves.
John: That's beautiful, Dutch. You always were a fine speaker.
Dutch: I was. Now, would you kindly send that academic out here, so we can show him what we really think about the of anthropology?
Harold: Please, sir and ma'am, what are you going to do?
Maddie: I'm going to hand you over to them and watch them tear you limb from limb.
Harold: What?
John: I'm just kidding. We're going to run across the rooftops, get you back to your ivory tower.
Harold: Oh! Thank you, sir and ma'am, thank you, sir and ma'am.
Maddie: Don't thank me, we're still here. Come on.
[They run next door where a couple's having foreplay.]
Harold: Good day, sir...madam.
Man: Look here, sir, what's the meaning of this...this outrage?
John: You two stay down and shut up.
Harold: Come on, we can get to the roof this way.
[They get to the roof.]
Harold: John and Maddie! Help me, John and Maddie!
Outlaw: (with Harold hostage) One more move and he's a dead man!
Harold: (after captor dies) My god, you took your sweet time! What'll we do now? They got us pinned down from both sides!
[John and Maddie take 'em out.]
Maddie: I think that's most of 'em. The coast looks clear.
Harold: Come on, then, let's make a break for it!
[They mount up.]
Harold: This really couldn't have gone more horribly wrong.
John: At least you got some good material for your next book.
Harold: You know, I dreamt of documenting the last days of the Old West. The romance, the honor, the nobility! But it turns out it's just people killing each other.
Maddie: It always was, Professor. And the old West ain't quite dead yet.
Harold: Oh I know, Mr. Marston and Mrs. Morgan. Believe me, I know.
[They make it to the station.]
Harold: My research is complete; much as I thought, there's no civilizing this savage land.
John: I could have told you that for nothing.
Harold: Ah, but they'll give me a prize in New Haven for this. Well, they bloody better. Well...goodbye, Mr. Marston and Mrs. Morgan. (hugging) Best of luck, dear friend.
Maddie: So long, Professor.
YOU ARE READING
Red Dead Redemption
FantasiRed Dead Redemption is set during the decline of the American frontier in the year 1911 and follows John Marston and his twin sister Maddie Morgan nee Marston, two former outlaws who, after his wife and son and her daughter is taken hostage by the g...
