It was set in the fine threads of Yggdrasil, that they were never to be with one another, or the world as they know would cease to exist. Loki's tired of it. He wants this more than anything. But will you give up your safety net? Could you risk it a...
The train back was immensely disquieting. Loki barely even looked at you. The bastard was giving you a cold shoulder.
Even back at the hotel, you said you'd share the bed with him, and he gave you the benefit of silence.
His face looked empty. Exhausted. What the fuck was his problem?
"What? You're not even going to talk to me now?"
He stared. He simply stared. His eyes darted past your being, and he moved towards the bathroom behind you. He took off his shirt with his hands as you continued to watch the intriguing bastard. His face met with the icy chill of the water and he shook it a bit to relieve himself of its frost. once he decided he was ready to leave the wash, weaves of wool began to wrap around his torso, covering the beauty of his body.
He would listen to you now. He had to.
"Look all I did was-"
"You fucked her."
Well, maybe not right now.
"Yes, I did, and I can. I'm allowed to."
Loki sighed. His chest and shoulders dropped, as though he half expected the sentence to leave your mouth.
"Why do you have such little respect for yourself?"
"What?"
"Look at you, parading around and just fucking the next person you see, you were like this at the tva."
"Are you fucking slut shaming me! Who the fuck are you to even speak like this to me" Something snapped inside of you, your heart wringing itself as he mocked your provocative nature. You didn't like it yourself, it's just that you needed it.
"I'm nothing, no one, but I care about you. I really, really like you. And it kills me that you don't want me to. You're so brilliant and kind and you have so much love to give, and yet you hide." She paused. Loki's eyes were bloodshot, wishing and pleading to her mind to help her form words of what she meant. She wanted you. "Why can't you just let me care about you? Let me take care of you. I don't care if you don't want to reciprocate, but let me love you. I want to love you again, I want to feel you, but you aren't even giving me a chance-"
"Because I can't "
That was your breaking point. How many times would you have to go over this?
"I can't give you a chance. Or anyone really. The last time I loved you, I was stolen. I was stolen for loving you. And when I didn't, I was dead. I can't live if I love you, I can't live for you. I can't be happy with you. And even when I don't love you, your life is miserable with Thanos and Ragnarok and all that- fuck. I just, I see it as a big neon fucking sign. And it's telling me to stay away from you. To refuse your love, so we both can live. I can't risk living a life where we're both together and happy and then we're not here anymore. I like it here, you by my side. But if this world has to crumble because I wanted to kiss you, I wouldn't forgive myself for it."
He spoke after a long pause. "Mobius."
"What?"
"Mobius. He was one of the best things in our lives."
"He's not even here, Loki, he's with his husband and kids."
"I know. He showed me that I can be loved. That I can love. And it's okay to love. I can be whoever I want to be. He's shown me how good love feels and how it heals everything. and I'm pretty sure if he were here, he'd tell you the same. Please, don't shut me out. Let me love you, let me give you a chance. Let me show you that you deserve love. My love. I want to love you."
"You're not understanding my point." you sob. Your tears falling on the soft white quilt.
"Make me understand," she begged, "Please."
"I want to give you a chance, I want a life with you. But I want assurance that I will have a life with you. That I needn't worry that tomorrow holds some sort of disaster and I won't ever see you again. You deserve so much more than me. And as much as I want to give you all my love, I don't want it to cost your life."
"Kiss me." Her lips were being bitten by her chapped lips. She wanted to show you, it doesn't matter now. You don't need to be afraid of anything. The universe could fight the goddess of mischief herself and lose.
Oh dear, "Loki."
"Just one kiss, nothing more."
Loki stood still, waiting for you to answer her. She wanted this. She wanted you. Years before, whatever bits she could recall of her past, you made most of them happy. Maybe, if she had been brave enough, she would have kissed you herself that night. She would have taken you to her bed and shown you what she could offer you. She knew there was no way she could give back the love and affection you delivered unto her, but that didn't mean she wouldn't try.
"Just a kiss, and I promise, a star won't die for a kiss."
"You're so goddamn gorgeous, it's really tempting to kiss you."
You swore you could see the corners of her sullen face lift up, just a bit, but she continued to play the stoic facade she usually put on. Her body made its way towards yours and she slowly slipped her hand between one of yours. Her eyes watched you intently as she twisted your fingers together.
Where was your heart and why was it beating so loud? Your chest? Your throat? Your foot? Honestly, nothing made sense, nothing was coherent enough in your mind to form a sentence. Not when Loki was leaning her body into you, pressing all her dips and curves against yours. Just a little further and you'd be naked.
"Kiss me," she begged, and what could you do if not meet her cold lips?
This woman would be the death of you.
Her lips, soft and cool, wrapped around yours. She was kissing you like there would be nothing left after this. Her free hand desperately came up to hold your neck, her need to prove to you just how much this mattered to her. She couldn't let you go. Not without trying to make you happy.
"I know, I've never been the best at communicating, but please, know how much I want this."
She was breaking you. Holding your shattered life in her arms and loving you to your core.
"I want to love you Loki. I'll give it a chance."
She hoisted you half into the air, twirling you around like a princess. If you had doubts before, you couldn't even think about them after seeing her great smile, her pearly whites shining her happiness through.
"Thank you," she cried, holding you back in her arms again. "I'm not asking you to have sex with me, I'm asking you to let yourself be loved."
Maybe this could work.
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I promise something cool is gonna happen Happy New Year !!
