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Ashton's pov
I spent the next 4 days in bed not saying a word as I let the exhaustion from the last few months take over.
Rell and Daja took turns alternating who laid with me each day so they could still work.
They refused to leave me alone which was smart on their part because they didn't know how bad I could really get.
Honestly, I didn't even want to do anything though. I didn't want to waste any more energy on Rylee.
She didn't deserve it. Not anymore.
Ever since I ran out of our apartment that day. I'd spent my nights alone telling myself that she was right, because I was traveling so much without thinking of her first.
I thought I was only thinking of myself when I signed on to travel to help people. Doing 2 weeks on and 1 week off for 3 months.
It was doable and was bringing in an absurd amount money for us to save up with.
I thought that my job was causing the separation I was starting to feel between us.
I was allowing more of her manipulation dictate how I thought and the actions I was considering to go back to her.
Until I found out she'd been fucking my brother for almost a year.
Knowing that, changed something inside of me.
I'd been holding so much on my shoulders that I should never have held.
I held the weight of other people's feelings on my chest.
'How was Drew doing? Does he feel bad about what he did? Does he think he betrayed me? Does he even actually care how I'm doing?'
'What about Rylee? Did she ever truly love me or was she in it for the access to Drew? Was she in it for us or the money I was bringing home?'
'Was I even worth having as a partner if I couldn't satisfy her sexual needs? Was I not there for her?'
'Did I consider her feelings about my absence when I took the job?'
These were the questions haunting me for the last 4 months.
My mind convinced me that I was so inadequate, that going back her would be the only smart move.
The fuck was my mind on about?
I can say with all the confidence in my soul, I will never ever go back to Rylee Joann Wagner.
I could feel the overwhelming thoughts starting to take over, the questions of never being able to get over this.
The whispers of how I'll never have the family I've always wanted.
The chants of how I'll never be enough for anyone because I'd be second best to my brother.
