Friendship? [H.S.]

Chapter 54

March 11, 2018

St. Jakobshalle – Basels

The new setlist and arena setup is a huge hit. I know I saw the stage setup in rehearsals and prep, but seeing it "Live on Tour" (see what I did there?) was something else. Seriously, the lighting... Can we just talk about the lighting!? I was really glad I snuck out to the sound booth during Woman. Helena is seriously the best photographer I've seen in action. She's really funny too. I feel like my snaps are going to be pointless with the way she captures you and the shows. Either way, I'm still doing it. Also, I'm planning to hide this journal from you better than the last one. I also think this is the best you've looked during a performance to date. The way you literally sparkled on stage... My favorite part of the night was when you realized you were playing a bigger show and you said, "I've only got 10 songs" and then the number of knees I saw buckle when they realized you were playing Stockholm Syndrome... that's what this picture is from. Ok, wait... your covers tonight were really good. You played all of my favorites. I knew you were planning on playing some unreleased songs, but I was not prepared for them tonight. Medicine was so... I felt like I needed a shower after it, but it was so good, and I had to try really hard not to sing and dance to it. The B stage is an excellent addition, btw. I'm seriously so glad you insisted on it. I was worried though, the amount of running and chaos? They behaved themselves though. By the way... Sweet Creature hits really differently now. For real, the B stage grouping of songs was honestly my favorite part. If I Could Fly was beyond and there was a moment when you listened to the crowd singing and your face... it looked like you realized just then that you were doing it. It was just you and your fans singing together. I didn't cry, but I almost did. Then... Anna? I know I've heard it before but seeing you do it on stage is a million times better. I feel like, I'm just going through every song, but tonight was so good and I honestly forgot how much I loved this shit. I'm really glad you gave me this chance to escape and experience how incredible you are. Anyway, I think this is going to be your best tour leg to date.

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March 13, 2017

AccorHotels Arena – Paris

Before I start... this one was only my favorite show because your mom was there. She made me come out with her, Jeffrey, and Camille. So much for me staying backstage this leg of the tour, eh? I'm really glad she insisted though, I got to see the animation on the screens, and it was everything! This was also the show that people started asking, immediately, who I was to you because I was at too many shows to just be Gemma's best friend. So, I'm currently dealing with that post-show. Anyway, your mom was fairly emotional tonight and it made me emotional. The pre-show picture is a fun one because I took a picture of the photographer taking a picture of you. I didn't get any mid-show pictures, but Jake came to the rescue again and here's your mom and I hugging during Sweet Creature with you looking like you're looking directly at us. Also, I didn't know you told her about the song and that's why she was crying so hard, because she said she loved the way we loved each other. I think you were about to cry when the song started as well. Aside from that, I know I made you laugh during Stockholm Syndrome because you saw me annoying Jeff with my bad dancing and singing. I didn't even notice the microphone slipping until Anne pointed it out. Medicine hit way harder tonight. You seemed a lot more confident singing it too. Your mom and I shared the same iffy exuberance about it. I laughed so hard when we both stopped singing after the second line. Then she asked me about Meet Me in the Hallway and I just shrugged. I just can't believe this is only the second show and it's already so perfect.

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March 14, 2018

Ziggo Dome - Amsterdam

First of all, bitch. I knew you were going to wear Harris Reed during this tour, but I was really hoping I'd be the first one getting to wear one of their pieces. The look is everything and I made an "appointment" to have a fitting. I'm only slightly jealous and bitter still. I'm also really sad that this was the last show for me until the 25th. It's ok. Back to right now. This show was insane. The energy, I know... you're rolling your eyes because I always talk about the energy... but Harry, I see what the shows are like when the crowd is low energy and I know you feel like you aren't doing a good enough job of entertaining them. That isn't the case. I wish that you could hear what I hear when I'm out in the crowd and I wish I could compile the thousands and thousands of love notes people send you across all of the social platforms. I just know how passionate you are and how much you want to give your fans an experience they won't forget, and I think sometimes you never feel like you're doing that. You give them that and more, though. I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass. One day you will see how good you are. Anyway, tonight was just really good. I cried a lot, again. I actually got to watch the video for 2 ghosts, and it was breathtaking. I did get in trouble because I snuck away and down into the pit. I told you to find me again after you found me that first time and I moved locations every time after that. I thought Jake was going to have a stroke and Jeffrey was ready to banish me from the rest of your shows. It was fun for you and me though. I got to meet so many of your fans and I won't lie and say that I wasn't shameless in using my pass to get closer during Just a Little Bit of Your Heart. Thankfully, the girl next to me after that song when you reached out and said, "Hello, darling." had been waving wildly so everyone thought you were saying it to her. I just realized, tonight, I felt like I did during pre-show from your 1D days. Jake grabbed me and made me move closer to the B stage, he said "Harry requested this. Please don't run away this time." I laughed until I realized it was Sweet Creature and If I Could Fly. It was so special, Hare. I don't know why, but Fly was even more of a moment than SC. I cried through both of them, and everyone could tell you were fighting through Fly. I'm just really hoping you moved your eyes enough that people didn't see we were singing together. The entire rest of the concert was incredible, but Kiwi was something else. I told you it was going to be the favorite of the concerts and I'm right. You can admit it, I won't gloat. I just want to say thank you for tonight, and the last 6. I truly love traveling with you. I love your crew, the band, and most of all you. The next 11 days are going to be rough. I'll probably end up watching your fan's livestreams... Oh! I'm making a fake account so I don't get in trouble. I love you and I'm so fucking proud of you. Live on Tour is EVERYTHING! Forever and ever.