The Unlovable Omega || Alpha x reader

| 4 | Intense Stare

One of my tears reach your hand, still pushing my teeth in my cheeks. As you finally let go of me, I slide down the wall and fall on my knees to the ground. I see your feet changing direction to leave the kitchen. "You know" I start in a tiny voice, because of the lump in my throat "I always dreamt of marrying my one and only love" You stop at the sound of my crying voice, but don't feel the need to turn around. I stare at your back "I wanted to live happily ever after and bear his children" I pause to sniff up my nose in the short silence "So guess we both didn't quite get what we wanted" There is a short silence filled with my cries and whimpers. You seem to think over my words for longer than I'd intended.

"Don't bring up some childish dream" you answer after some time, still only showing your back in the same position "I hate all omegas" you turn to face me with a distasteful glare "but thanks for letting me know I got married to the most pathetic one" are the last words you speak to me to then leave me alone in the kitchen. I wipe my wet cheeks and try to take deep breaths, as my chest shudders against my knees. We are both caught up in this against our will.

So why does it seem like I'm the only one struggling?

I hear your footsteps upstairs in the bed room. I stare outside at the foggy sun sinking in the water, before I grab one of the blankets off of the sofa to cover up my naked body and hesitantly tripple my toes on the steps of the stairs. By the time I reach the bed room door, I still haven't made up my mind whether or not to go inside. I peek my head through the opening of the door and relief washes over me at the sight of empty air. I figure you must've left when I walked up the stairs. So I shrug my shoulders shortly and walk inside, when suddenly a tall figure stops me in my tracks. I stumble on the ground, because of the sudden appearance. You'd just put away your clothes in the closet behind the door and now expose every part of your skin. My mouth opens in shock at the sight of a certain part of you, as I'm pretty sure there appears a smirk on your face.

I try to pull my eyes off of it, but it keeps grabbing my attention, since it's so close to my face. My fingers flinch on the cold wooden floor, as I quickly pull up the blanket on my body that had moved out of place due to the fall. When I look back up at you, hoping you'd be gone, you're in the same position. My eyes slide lower one more time in curiosity and it suddenly seems to have gotten even bigger. Why is it suddenly standing? I close my eyes turning away from it, as I hear a chuckle in satisfaction from your direction. "That's bound to happen" you speak in a deep tone as you stroke your hands over it, growing it even bigger. "if you look at it with such intensity" I hear you stepping away, as I trust my surroundings again and open my eyes.

You already lay down in the bed, as I get up from my position, still unable to process what I'd just seen. Was that normal? Is that attached to every man's body? That's impossible right? It suddenly feels like a blessing you don't want to have sex with me. Cause I'm pretty sure now that would never even work. My hands tremble due to the discovery, as I pull the covers closer to my face. I'm scared to even look at you, so turn to the big window and hug my knees. I only now feel how exhausted I am. It's only the second day in our marriage, but it already feels like I've been through too much. I feel sleep creeping in, as I breath into the covers I press against my lips.

My eyes suddenly open at a sound behind me. It seems like your groaning at first, but it quickly turns out to be more like moans. I feel the heat of your body creeping closer under the covers. As the fabric move up and down at a steady pace. It's almost like I can feel your hot breath on my neck, as the sound keeps coming closer. I suddenly feel a hand on my neck, followed by a quick motion to turn my gaze towards you. Your other hand keeps stroking, as it feels like you're forcing me to watch you. You lick my neck, after pulling me even closer and then leaning into my ear. "Get out of here" you whisper, as I pull away in confusion to look at you for an explanation. "I can't finish this with you next to me" you speak in a mocking tone, as you see the light disappear from my face like you'd intended. "You're such a turn off" you say as the smirk on your lips grows wider, before pushing me out of the bed with rough strength.

I don't even take the time to grab my blanket and run out of the room. My eyes start watering in embarrassment, as my hands tremble holding on to the stairs while descending. I've been insulted my whole life about my existence, the way I behaved and my body and I think a part of me always tried to convince myself they were wrong, but when hearing the same insults from someone else seems like they were right all along. I lay down in the sofa wiping the last tears off of my face and sniff up my nose in the silence of the house. I now suddenly regret not taking the blanket with me, as I hug my knees, trying to ignore the cold air on my skin. I quickly lose against the sleep creeping in due to the extreme exhaustion and silently hope I don't have to wake up again.

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My eyes open slowly because of a soft sizzling sound. I lift up my head and see it's coming from the kitchen. Suddenly I feel how hungry I am, while sniffing up the smell of breakfast. The last days, I'd just grab tiny things out of the fridge, but I've been craving an actual meal. I run upstairs for the blanket I'd forgotten the night before, knowing you're in the kitchen, so the coast is clear. My toes toddle over the wooden planks, scared to make a sound. I shift my weight to the front and see you eating at the table by the tall windows. I slip inside the kitchen, only to find an empty pan in disappointment. I look over to you, as you notice I've woken up and seem to smile at my disappointed face. You definitely seem like you enjoy mocking me for my incompetence.

I take a deep breath and sit down at my usual spot in the windowsill. I lean close to the glass and watch the outside. It's still snowing, but the snowflakes seem to be thinner, unable to create their white beauty. The glass in front of me fogs up, because of my breathing. My fingers trace a heart like I'm used to and I smile at it with content. Big hands smudge the created heart and glass "Don't draw on the windows" you say in a scolding tone "you fucking child", as you pass me to put away your plate. I sink away against my arms still staring outside to avoid your angry gaze on my back.

Suddenly the doorbell rings, as I turn to look at you for your reaction. Your brows furrow in thought, as if you didn't expect anyone. My curiosity grows, as I sneak after you towards the hall. You open the door to reveal another beta woman. She immediately jumps around your shoulders and kisses you deeply. You push her face off of you and seem annoyed she didn't call before coming. "You can't just show up here without notice" but the beta keeps snuggling against your neck and licking you. You turn in my direction, as you carry her around your waist. You seem to be signaling me something with an evil smirk, but I just hide myself in the sofa, as you bring her up the stairs.

I just deem myself lucky the woman hasn't noticed me yet, as I ball in on myself by the fire. I hide under my blanket and press it against my ears. It's pretty clear what will follow. And soon enough the house fills with the same sounds as our wedding night. The woman's moans fill the house, as you hear rough slaps against someone's skin. I shut my eyes desperately trying to ignore them, but with my discovery from last night that becomes even more difficult. I push my nose in between the crook of my knees and press harder on the sides of my head. Why does it seem you're doing this on purpose? Do you want me to hear you? Is that why you gave that pleased smirk?

After some time the sounds finally stop and I release my ears from the pressure. I strain my ears and try to follow both of your footsteps going down the stairs. I sit up, after hearing you guys coming towards the living room. The woman was leaning against the wall, while looking back at you. She was completely naked, showing off her big round curves. I quickly duck inside the sofa and cover myself with the blanket again. I am certain the woman almost saw me, so I don't dare to move a muscle. I close my eyes and try to forget what I'd just seen. I feel pathetic for the jealous feeling arising in me. The woman was beautiful. She had a tan, where I lacked color and big soft curves, where I was all too tiny. My mother's words echoed in my mind.

"It's already bad enough you were born as omega, why also look like the most pathetic version?"

"Get over here baby" the woman interrupts my thoughts "I want you inside me again so bad" she continues in this slutty high pitched voice. My eyes widen at her words. How could she speak those without shame? I hear you chuckle in the distance, so I figure that might be what you like. I suddenly freeze, as I sense the tall woman walking past the sofa.

"I want you to fuck me by the fire place"