The Unlovable Omega || Alpha x reader

|11| Heated Argument

"I'm glad that bitch didn't have the guts to show up" is your immediate reaction at your step mom's absinence once we get home. You throw your jacket on a hanger and walk up to the living room. "It's probably cause my sister also doesn't like her" you fall back on the sofa, as I follow you towards the heat of the fireplace. I sit down next to you hugging my knees, still covered with the expensive fabric of the dress you gave me. I almost want to ask where you got this from, since it got some weird looks on the birthday party. "My sister seemed to like you though?" you try to get me to talk, which is unusual for you. I wake up from my thoughts on the dress and nod swiftly. "Yeah she seems nice" I face towards your side of the sofa when your eyebrow suddenly twitches. "What did you guys talk about?" My eyes widen, as my face shows a speechless expression. I want to come up with a lie, but I don't know how to make it convincing. "Nothing special" I just answer with a short smile, which doesn't seem to satisfy you. 

"When you weren't playing like a fucking child for two seconds, what did you talk about?" you repeat the same question with new insults that make me flinch. It's no use to start lying when it seems you already know the truth.

"She talked about her, didn't she?"

You look at me with glaring eyes, as if they could spot the lie in my next answer. There is a short silence that seems filled with my racing heartbeat at the suspense. I don't want you getting angry. "Wh-who?" I ask in a high confused tone, but just get an angry scowl in return. You stand up aggressively and pull my wrist in a rough manner. "owww that hurts" I yell out, but you don't seem to hear me. Why would you suddenly get so angry? "That fucking bitch" you swore under your breath at your sister, while dragging me up the stairs. "No-no, it was me who asked" I try to calm your anger. The last thing I want is to ruin your family's bond, but it already seems too late. You throw me through the door way, as I fall on my already bruised knees. You shout at me from the door frame

"Stop thinking our marriage is real!"

Your heavy loud words shlashes through my bones "We don't have to know anything about each other!" you keep going in rage, as your voice trembles. It's almost as if you're about to cry. You take a few breaths before continuing in a calmer menacing tone.

"We're mere two bodies wearing the same ring and that's all we'll ever be!" 

My eyes start tearing at those words. It turns out I've been reading things all wrong, which is making me feel pathetic. "No please don't be angry" my final attempt gets shut down harshly by the loud slam of the bed room door. I can hear you locking it, as I run towards the knob. I slide down the cold wood in defeat. "Please" I call out for you in desperation. I'm not even sure you can hear me, but decide to continue anyway.

"I'm sorry" I bring out in a tiny voice, trying to stop my trembling lips. I suddenly feel bad for asking all that to your sister. It didn't have to do anything with me and it seems I've hurt you again in the process. Why can't I do anything right? "I catch myself getting attached to you" I bring out hesitantly and wait for a long pause at the other side of the door. "so I wanted to understand you better" I bite my fingers in distress "but I shouldn't have" I feel tears welling up in my eyes at your cold response on the other side of the door. My chest shudders against my knees, as I try to hold in the deep sobs welling up. "I'm sorry" I repeat, now in a crying sense "I swear I didn't mean to"

Suddenly the door clicks above me, grabbing my attention, as I crawl away from the door. I wait for you to open it and reveal yourself, but when you do there's another woman with you. You stare down at my teary face, as I now feel pathetic for crying earlier. It turns out you weren't even listening. I look down at the floor, hoping it would swallow me, when you break the silence. "Get out" you command me to go out of the room, you first forced me into. "We need this room" you smirk at the woman next to you, before she kisses you deeply. I can't help but look away. This view for some reason gives me this tight pain in my chest, even though it shouldn't. When you guys don't seem to stop exploring each other's mouths, I quickly run past you with my eyes on the floor. All I want to do is hide now.

By the time I reach the living room, I can already hear the dreaded sounds. I cover my ears, but can still hear them. I hate this. It all has to stop. I quickly run towards the kitchen to get rid of the sounds, but nothing helps. I notice your shoes by the door leading outside and without thinking put them on to run into the snow. I just had to get away from the sounds. They weren't any louder or different than other times, but they seemed to put a painful pressure on my lungs that had never been there before. Was I disgusted? Was I feverish? I couldn't quite tell, but a part of me didn't want to admit the real reason. I could feel that if I did I'd feel even more pathetic.

I run over the slippery icy parts of the hardened snow with the spacious shoes and reach the spot by the water. I close my eyes after crowching down and feel myself become calmer, almost numb. The cold wind breezes against my ears covering the silence I had so desperatly wanted and the feeling in my chest softly subsides. This situation had become more difficult than it was supposed to be. You shouldn't have treated me so gently the past few weeks, if you were going to do this next. I feel pathetic for even reading into things. I feel the expensive soft fabric between my fingers, as a cold shiver runs over my spine. I was better of shivering outside than hearing whatever you two were up to. I sink between my knees against the shiny fabric and watch the water in the wind's silence.

"What the fuck did I tell you?" echoes through the wind behind me. I flinch up from my position and see you rushing over towards me. You're barefoot and only wearing pants. From afar I can see the woman still naked by the door in confusion. I stand up in fear for your arrival full vengeance. "Don't fucking go outside!" You yell from across the white snow. I brace myself and try to match your anger "Then what am I supposed to do?" but I quickly show trembles in my voice. "Listen to you guys doing that again?" I can't stop the new tears stinging my eyes. "The sounds make me so uncomfortable, I could die" You halt a few feet away from me and scoff "Well, then fucking do" your pained angry expression becomes hazy, because of my blurry vision."I already told you I wouldn't even care"

Your words cut deeper than I intended. It seems no one in this world can grow to love me. Even the person forced to live with me, would rather see me die. A tear streams down my cheek, as I bring out my next words between soft sobs "okay, then I'll do you a favour" I set a few steps back, which clearly grabs your attention. "I'll jump in the lake right now" For some reason it feels like we're both hiding tears under our anger, when your voice halts with a clear lump in your throat. "Don't say that" I look back at you in confusion at that sudden change of behavior, but your anger instantly returns. "Take those words back!" You seem angrier than before, as you step towards me and grab my neck roughly. "I said take them back!" you seem to tremble in fury, as it becomes more difficult to breath. "Tell me one good reason why I should!" I yell daringly in your grip "You don't know shit" you angrily scream right back in my face, while shaking me around a bit. I grab your wrist of the hand around my neck and try to keep it together. "Well how should I?" I ask you now in a more broken voice "you never tell me anything!" Your grip seems to loosen, when I break down

"but I still have to abide by whatever rule you want to make up."

You stare at my tears for a second and seem to hesitate before cursing closer to my face "I'm not making shit up". There is a short silence followed by my whispering pleas "then just tell me" I look deep into your eyes hovering over me "tell me the why" The same sad expression paints on your face, as if you're genuinly considering an answer. "Shut up!" You're rage takes over again and you roughly let go of my now bruised arm. Your eyes narrow as you speak in a daring tone "go on, jump then" I stare at you still with tears streaming down my face. I open my mouth to say something, but you continue first.

"but don't expect me to help you like I did last time"

You now turn around and step towards the house again, as if you've already given up on this argument. I wipe my tears off of my wet face and run after you. The ice is slippery and the shoes uncomfortable. I suddenly feel bad about yelling, remembering you're sad expression. I could feel that if we stopped this conversation now, this could never be saved. "Wait" I yell out to you, as I reach my hand out to your distant figure, but it doesn't seem enough for you to turn around. Suddenly my feet slip, as I gasp out at the lost balance. The slippery ice drags me down with her, as my feet lose contact with the ground. I scream as I watch the docks dissappear when my head gets swallowed under the freezing water. I can only watch the bubbles of air traveling to the surface that should've spelled the word.  

"help"