Jānakī Manoharā Ābhā : The Twins of Ramā

8 | Sandēha

Sandēha

(lit.) Doubt, uncertainity

"Now I understood the reason why Gurudeva writes on every corner of the Patra" Kusha sighed as he laid out the sheet of leaves for drying.

Lava joined his brother in sighing as he continued copying the shlokas written in previous Patras. "I mean, shouldn't humans invent something? I mean these Patras get decomposed every other five years. Like some kind of better Patras?"

"I wish so, but we are humans, in process of making something that we prefer we end up destroying the nature. And I'm pretty sure that situation will here soon." Kusha answered as he took a seat next to Lava.

"Let's go inside? Looks like Surya Bhagawan is burning angry on someone." Lava tried joking hoping that Kusha would laugh but only gathered a sigh.

As they entered the hut, they saw their mother wiping few tears off her eyes and whispering something to calm herself down. Lava and Kusha realising that they should enter and talk with their mother later, left and sat under the shade of the tree.

Both the boys knew when to talk with someone. Their mother at present needed some alone time, and even if they went in and spoke, they would get scoldings. 

"So, how's everything?" Lava started, the twins came to a point where both knew all the things of eachother, they always were together, let it be eating or sleeping time. 

"Average-? How's yours?"

"Same"

"Isn't it crazy that few days we go one blabbering and not pausing for a single second and today is the time when we don't even know what to talk" Kusha muttered. It was peak summer and air was burning. 

Lava's cheeks turned into bright red colour, his senstive skin would react in the same way whenever he went out in the sun. Whereas, Kusha had a darker tone which could hide the bright colour across his cheeks.

"Let's go now? Maa might get mad at us if we stay in the sun" 

"Aren't they a little too young to go out and sing in the streets of Ayodhya. It's a huge city and.. they haven't seen the harshness of the city people. Gurudeva, is it necessary now?" Sita had thousands of questions running in her mind.

Valmiki continued staring at the tree which was infront of them. The autumn breeze took over the Ashrama as the fallen leaves flew here and there -- dominated by the winds momentum. Sita's faded saffron robes flew with the winds rhythm and she fiddled with her fingers. Uncertainity running through her.

"Putri" Valmiki's crisp voice cut through the thoughts of Sita. Sita turned her attention towards him. She always found the fatherly love and comfort in him, whenever he would visit her, all her worries would drift away, but now, Sita was not even finding that peace.

"Lava and Kusha need to know about their father atleast now. Their innocent heart has too many questions regarding Rama-Sita katha. And I am afraid that, if it is not out now, it might plant seedlings of hate towards Raja Rama, their father."

"Are they ready to live without mother?"

"Putri!" Valmiki exclaimed, his eyes not ready to accept Sita's determination.

"I can't seem but wonder why do my kids have such a fate" Sita paused and chuckled, "In their life, they get only one parent's love at once. They can't enjoy the happiness of both parents's affection at once. Is it their fault that they born to me and Raghava? They are still young to face all of this"

"Sita." Valmiki paused and continued, "They need to know the truth now."

"I do understand that, Gurudeva. But.. I just can't. Knowing my sons, they would be ready to wage a war against those people who spoke bad about me. I can't control their anger alone. Their anger is something that they have surely taken over their uncle, Lakshmana."

Sita's concern was justified. Over the years, the twins grew extremely protective of their only family, their mother. They always made sure that she was comfortable, in short, they treated her like a goddess.

And with that nature, they can't hear anyone speaking ill about their mother. They would burn in fire if anyone spoke bad about their mother. Sita was scared about their reaction.

"Putri. Atleast, they won't be going now. In fact, after I come back from my yatra, they shall go." Valmiki glanced at Sita as they continued to stare at the tree.

I need to tell them now.