Complications

Chapter Thirteen: Recovery

I open my eyes and look around, I'm on the rooftop at my old apartment complex, when I was living with my mom before leaving for the military, as the full moon is out and the city lights shine from below. I'm dreaming, which is good. That means I'm not dead. I look at my hands and arms, no scars; I'm probably 15 in this dream. I sigh and look at the lit up town from the rooftop until I hear footsteps. I don't bother to look since I might already know who it is. As soon as the person sits next to me, I turn and look up at a tall man with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes along with a loose jacket and jeans; it's my dad. Even though my dad has been dead for 11 years, he still manages to come see me in my dreams sometimes just to let me know he's watching over me still.

My dad, Carl Stein, looks down at me once he sits next to me with a soft smile.

"Hallo Kürbis." (Hi pumpkin) My dad says with his soft yet thick German accent.

"...Hi dad." I say softly.

"You picked the rooftop this time. Normally you'd pick the beach." He says with a soft chuckle. I smile slightly at him and look at the night sky, my smile slowly fading after realizing this is all just a dream.

"Maybe because this place was the last time I got to see you..." I say as I turn to look back at him. I could tell he was a bit hurt by that but he understands. "It was the last time I got to talk to you about mom, my personal problems, and just... life in general."

"It was a long conversation that night though, wasn't it?" He says with a smile before looking at the city lights.

I don't say anything as I try not to cry so early. My dad died from a mission since he was in the military as well and this was the last place I ever got to talk to him about how mom would abuse me and my brother, my depression and suicide, and how I wouldn't want him to leave for missions anymore. I let out a soft sigh and look away, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

"So,...what's on your mind this time pumpkin?" My dad asks as he places a hand on my shoulder.

"...I feel like joining the military when I was 18 was a bad idea for me." I say coldly.

"But you did it for my sake though." He says reassuringly.

"I know,...I just feel like the team that I have now will like me one day but then hate me the next." I lower my head and look down, feeling disappointed and frustrated with myself.

"What makes you think that?" He asks. I hesitate to even tell him but then again, I tell my dad everything.

I sigh.

"You remember König? My best friend?"

"Yes?"

"He...made a move on me and it just feels weird now. But even before that, I met this other guy named Ghost and he made a move on me too. And I later found out that Ghost has feelings for me even though he's been rude to me since the beginning and now all of a sudden König has been trying to be affectionate towards me and it's just making me feel like there's tension in the group because of me."

My dad just gives me a blank expression as he processes what I just told him. His face goes from slightly upset about Ghost and König to worry soon after. He then starts to rub my back as he thinks about what to say.

"Well... do you like either of them?" He asks.

"I don't know. Ghost is firm and doesn't show emotion but... something about him tells me that he cares about me. König on the other hand has been my friend since I first joined the military. I've felt comfortable around him, and he helped me avenge you..." I turn and look up at my dad when I mention the last part. He looks a bit upset at first but he just nods after.