31 Days.. (a zayn malik fanfiction)

chapter 32-closure

CHAPTER 32: CLOSURE
“Sorry we couldn’t catch the flight back home with you,” Emily sighed, “but this one over there..” she turned to Carmello raising her eyebrow,“couldn’t wait any longer to go home! He’s so whiney sometimes..”
“Hey!” Carmello frowned walking towards us, “I heard that!” he folded his big arms and tapped his foot, “I am not whiney!”
“Aww baby, you totally are!” Emily pouted nodding her head,
‘PASSENGERS SHOULD NOW LINE UP TO BOARD THE PLANE. I REPEAT, PASSENGERS DEPARTING FOR DUBAI SHOULD NOW LINE UP TO BOARD THE PLANE.’
We looked to the ceiling in sync hearing the announcement and I turned back to the two, giggling a little and let out a sigh. Emily opened her arms wide open and squeezed me tight.
“Have a safe flight okay?” I said patting her back with my hand,
“Thanks babe,” she let go of me and smiled, “I’ll see you back home in a couple of days!”
I looked at Carmello and gave him a hug, whispering in his ear, “Try your best not to be whiney on the plane, yeah?”
“I AM NOT WHI—-“
I cut him off, “Shhh Carmello, shh, inside voice!” 
He frowned at me and laughed, rustling his hands through my hair, “We’ll see you soon Hols.”
“Hope you have a safe flight! Bye!” I said waving them goodbye as they fell in line and into the gate,
“Bye!!!” Emily quickly shouted before disappearing into the small walk way that lead to the plane, 
I smiled to myself and checked the time on my phone. It was nearing lunch, which meant that my meeting with Josh was soon approaching. I made my way through Heathrow Airport, dodging the eager as they rushed about with their luggage and stressed faces. I didn’t like being here. I didn’t like knowing the fact that I was just a short two days away from being back here, where this time, I’d be the one with the luggage, with the stressed face. I’d be the one who was actually leaving.
The automatic exit doors opened for me, sliding out of my way. I stepped out with a sudden relief inside of me appearing and hopped into the first taxi I could find. 
“Where to?” the taxi driver asked boringly as he chewed his gum, 
I sat there blankly, strangely getting lost in a mind in which was empty. Emotions had hit me that I was unsure of how to even describe let alone understand, but all that I was sure of was that this empty feeling meant that I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to leave London, I didn’t want to leave the boys, I didn’t want to leave Danielle and Eleanor, and most importantly I didn’t want to leave Zayn. Because I knew, as soon as my plane lifted its wheels off that runway, the next time I’d get to be in his arms again, feel the touch of his lips against mine, was forever to be uncertain. And that scared me. That scared me so much.
“Miss?” the taxi driver frowned breaking my trance,
His voice startled me, “Sorry,” I chuckled awkwardly, “Frith Street, Soho.” I stated, sinking back into reality, “Nandos.”
“Alright.” he nodded as he turned his steering wheel, pulling us out and away from the curb,
******
The taxi pulled up to Frith Street and I stared nervously at the Nandos sign through my window, 
“Excuse me miss, we’re here.” the taxi driver announced, 
“Oh,” I nodded still looking out the window, the tiny droplets of rain falling side by side against the glass now having my full attention,
The driver coughed urging my exit, “That’s 57 pounds.”
“57 pounds?” I repeated surprised, turning around quickly to face him,
He tapped on his taxi meter showing the fee and I heaved a sigh reluctantly reaching into my wallet to pay, “How am I meant to eat lunch now..” I mumbled to myself frowning,
“What was that?” the taxi driver asked,
“Nothing, nothing.” I replied biting my lip, slightly embarrassed there was a chance he fully heard, 
I finally gathered the right amount and handed it over to him, “Thank you!” I crowed, then hopped straight out of the taxi, the icy wind greeting me as it hit my cheeks,
The sound of the taxi’s tyres screeched on the wet road behind me and I rubbed my arms with my hands frantically, shivering from the cold. I had to get out of this bland mood if I wanted this meet up with Josh to be a non-pointless trip and that my 57 pounds wouldn’t go to waste. Although, I wasn’t really sure what to expect of this meet up anyway. In all honesty, I wasn’t really sure why I even agreed to meet up with him in the first place. Something inside urged me on, perhaps a feeling of longing for closure. Things between us didn’t exactly leave off on a very good note since the last time we saw each other, and with tomorrow being my last day in London, it didn’t feel right to just leave with ends untied. 
I took a big breath, exhaling slowly, calming the unsettled nerves and began walking in big steps towards the white doors of Nandos avoiding the rain as much as possible. As I opened the door, the warm flow of air and smell of that wonderful tender chicken put an immediate smile on my face. 
It didn’t take long for me to spot Josh, his pink cheeks could be spotted from a mile away. As I began to draw closer to him, he looked up and saw me, grinning as he waved. 
“Hey you!” I cheered reaching his table,
He stood up from his chair and placed one of his arms around me for a half hug, “How are you?” he asked waiting for me to sit down first, gesturing with his hand, 
“I’m great!” I exclaimed taking my seat, “Yourself?” 
“That’s good, me too!” he replied while bending down to sit, 
A silence suddenly took place and it was only a matter of seconds before the awkward vibes would kick in. I hadn’t really planned what I was going to say to him so it was hard to start the conversation incase I’d say something that didn’t make sense, but I figured anything was better than silence.
“So ah—” we both said in unison, interrupting the other,
“You first,” he chuckled blushing,
“No that’s okay!” I shook my head, “You go first!”
“Holly, c’mon, ladies first.” he retorted,
I sighed, “Okay, well um,” my eyebrows raised as I played with the pamphlets on the table, “Look, Josh, I’m really sorry about that other night. I really didn’t want things to go down like that..”
He nodded, “No one did Holly,”
“I know.. but I just feel horrible. I never meant to lead you on in anyway if I did, I promise.” 
I looked back up at him nervous to see his reaction on his face.
He smiled with his teeth showing as he leaned back on his chair, “Don’t even worry about it hey, it was completely my fault. I should have never tried to kiss you, you’re Zayn’s girlfriend! I completely crossed the line I swear to you I’m never normally like that!” he sighed, “I owe you and him an apology, and I’m truly sorry. Truly.”
“You totally owe Zayn an apology,” I giggled trying to lighten the mood, “I mean, if I were you I’d be scared for my life that I would be getting fired soon!”
“Is that right?” he laughed shaking his head,
“Mhmm!” I smirked nodding, “But really, I accept your apology. Thanks Josh, you really are such a lovely guy. I’m sorry you had to get caught up in between this drama..”
He shrugged, “Well, it’s not like you dragged me in. I practically put it on myself. But I’m really glad you came today, I felt horrible knowing we left on such shit terms.”
“Me too, especially since in just two days I’m —-“
A lot of things had changed since the day I first landed in London, changes in myself to say the least. But the one thing that didn’t change, was my stomach. It growled loudly, cutting me off, begging for the conversation to end and orders to take place. There was no point in ignoring it, food was needed now. 
I rubbed my hands on my stomach trying to settle it, shyly looking up at Josh, “You know what? Could we order now?” 
He laughed, “I thought you’d never ask!”
I stood up eagerly, screeching the bottom of my chair across the floor as I skipped to the cash register, Josh following me from behind.
“What would you like?” the girl chirped, 
“Uhhhhmmm,” I stared up at the menu indecisively, “5 chicken wings with Peri-Peri chips!” 
My eyes widened as I spotted something else I wanted on the menu, “No! Wait! Scratch that, I’ll have the chicken breast burger!”
“Okay!” she chuckled, tapping my order into the screen,
I bit my lip, “No! Oh my gosh I’m sorry, I changed my mind, I’ll have 10 chicken wings. With Peri-Peri chips. Oh but should I? …Wait yes, yes 10 chicken wings and Peri-Peri chips.”
“Are you okay?” Josh asked peering at me on my side, 
I frowned offendedly, “Picking what to eat is one of life’s hardest decisions, okay!”
“10 chicken wings with Peri-Peri chips?” the girl confirmed,
“Yes please,” I laughed,
“Are you sure?” Josh teased,
I rolled my eyes, “Yes.”
The girl sent a quick smile Josh’s way then met my eyes, “That will be —”
“Oh shit!” I cursed suddenly realising a newfound dilemma,
“What?” Josh asked worriedly,
“Argh,” I slapped my hand against my forehead, “I forgot, I can’t eat lunch. I used up all my money on my taxi fare.” 
My heart literally sunk. I was really looking forward to sinking my teeth into those tasty, poor little suckers.
Josh smiled, “It’s on me!” he pulled out his wallet and shuffled through it finding the money,
“Woaaah!” I said, shoving his wallet trying to stop him, “That is completely unnecessary, put it away!” 
“It’s fine, really!” he insisted chuckling,
“No!”
“As if I’m going to eat lunch while you sit there with nothing, watching me.” he gawped,
“Why would I watch you eat?” I frowned,
He sighed, “Just let me pay. Take it as a…” his eyes wandered up then back at me, ”..an apology lunch!”
I laughed giving in, “Fine.”
“Great!” he winked, then pulled out the money again and ordered his own, 
After Josh made his order and we eventually got our food, we somehow managed to talk nonstop in between the mouths full of food and horrible table manners. It felt like I was meeting him for the first time all over again. We really did get along quite well and I couldn’t get over how genuine he really was. I was glad I chose to come today, just talking to him made me realise we could still be friends and leave everything that happened between us in the past, like it never happened. And that was honestly really important to me. I didn’t have to leave London with any ends untied, I had found closure.
“So when are you heading back home?” he asked smiling at the Nando’s girl as she took away our empty plates,
“Well actually, tomorrow’s my last day in London! I leave Saturday morning.” I forced a smile,
It even hurt just announcing it.
His eyes widened a little, “Wow, really? So soon! Gee, time really did fly by didn’t it?”
“Well you know what they say,” I quaked, “Time flies when you’re having fun!”
He laughed, “Corny but true!”
“But hey, you’ll come back and visit yeah?”
“Definitely.” I said confidently, “I think that’s the only thing I’ll be thinking about when I get back home. Wondering when I’ll ever come back..”
He nodded, “I’m sure you will, everyone will miss you!”
“And I’ll miss everyone! I just had no idea coming here would change my life, it’s crazy. You have all become family. Even you, Josh.” 
He grinned as he placed his arms on the table, leaning, “You really don’t want to leave, do you?” 
I shook my head, “I don’t…”
“Then why won’t you stay?” he asked, tilting his head,
“Because life is unfair. Getting the job I’ve worked all my schooling life for has finally happened. But you know what else finally happened? Zayn happened. He’s the one I’ve been waiting for all my life. How the hell am I meant to choose between the two?”
“That’s tough,” he frowned, sinking back into his chair, “but just because you guys have two different lives, doesn’t mean they can’t be joined together. If the love is real, life will open up a door for the both of you and everything will work out.”
“That actually makes a lot of sense..” I pondered, resting my head on my hand, “wow Josh, when did you get so philosophical?” 
He laughed as he messed his hair, “I just always believe everything happens for a reason.”
“I’m really glad we met up,” I smiled sincerely, “and fixed things between us.”
“I honestly feel the exact same!” he agreed smiling back at me, 
My phone buzzed loudly with Zayn’s caller ID lighting up, 
“Hey!” I answered, pointing to my phone at Josh letting him know I’d be just a few minutes,
“Babe! You okay?” Zayn asked like every start of a phone call,
“Yeah, I’m fine! What’s up??”
“Where are you? I’ve got some exciting news to tell you!” 
“What is it?!?!” I squeaked,
“Nooo, I’ll tell you when I see you. I’m about to head into Nandos to get us some food, you around?”
“I’m actually in Nandos right now in Soho!” 
“Really? I’m nearly there, see you in a bit!”
As I hung up my phone, I looked back at Josh to only find him eyeing the girl who served us earlier, smiling like a big idiot. 
I grinned and shoved him lightly, “Ooooooh,” I mocked making kissy noises,
“Oh, shut it!” he laughed, 
“Go talk to her! It looks like she’s on her break!” I urged,
He bit his lip nervously, “Should I? But we’re —”
I cut him off quickly, “We’re done here and Zayn will be here any time soon! Go for it!”
His face lit up lighter than Niall’s face would if I had told him I had free food,
He stood up from his chair, me following, and hugged me tight, “I’m really glad I got the chance to meet you. And I really hope I see you again real soon!” 
I hugged back tightly, “Me too.”
As we broke from the hold he smiled, “Have a safe flight okay? Take care of yourself!”
“I will. You take care of yourself too, okay?” I smiled back, “Now go get her!” I slapped his bicep hard, then shoved him away,
He began walking up to the counter on his own now and turned to me frowning as he rubbed his bicep, mouthing “ow”. I poked my tongue out at him as he laughed with a quick wave of goodbye. I waved back smiling then looked down at the ground, wondering if this was the last time I would see him again. Josh was my first goodbye. I feared for the oncoming goodbyes that were to come as my last days in London would go by. This goodbye was like a quick jab at heart, I could only imagine how my heart was going to deal with the rest of them. Everything was becoming real and I was getting weaker, sinking into denial. With each goodbye it would only get harder for me. But even so, I still didn’t have enough balls to just call a quits on my own dreams that I had before this life in London.
I suddenly felt a warm pair of arms wrap around my waist and a chin rest on top of my shoulder, Zayn’s cologne bursting in the air around me. 
“Did you miss me?” he asked as I peered down at him plopped on my shoulder, 
“Hmm..” I pondered grinning, 
He let go of my waist and stepped around so that he was now facing me, grabbing my head in his hands as he placed a kiss on my forehead, “Don’t pretend you have to think about it, I know you missed me.” he winked,
I blushed knowing he was right, too weak to stubbornly not admit it knowing I had to cherish these types of moments even more so. 
“I did miss you.” I smiled then leaped at him, hugging him tight, 
The layers of his clothes made him more squishy to hug and as my nose was conveniently right at his neck where his scent lingered, I refused to let go. He stroked the back of my head softly as we were enwrapped in our embrace as if he was thinking the same thing I was. That he didn’t want to let go either because soon enough, moments like these could never be repeated for a while after my departure. 
“Hey,” he mumbled, 
“Mmm?” I asked, still very much comfortable resting on his shoulder,
“I have news to tell you remember?” he reminded, reluctantly pulling our hold away, 
As our bodies parted, a coldness appeared in my flesh, “What is it?”
He tickled my chin recognising my sadness, “Don’t worry, you’re going to like it! I’m sure of it!” his tone suddenly full of excitement,
His eyes drifted behind me, a frown appearing out of the blue, “Is that Josh?” he asked, 
“Oh, yeah,” I turned around seeing him well flirting with the Nandos girl, “We had..um, lunch together.”
He tilted his head, eyebrows furrowed, “Why were you.. you know what, it doesn’t matter. I trust you.” 
A smile appeared so evidently wide on my face and I quickly planted a kiss on his cheek, thankful for his optimism, “What’s your news Zayn??” 
The long awaiting was now causing an excitement to build up inside of me. 
“So since tomorrow’s your last day here, I’ve made plans for us!” his eyes now showing such thrill, 
“Oh, is that so? And what are these plans Mr.Malik?” I grinned, eager to hear,
“Well,” he smiled a lazy half smile, “I just want it to be you and me, all day, all night. I refuse to let anyone have you but me tomorrow. So..”
“So..” I asked anxiously, urging him with a light shove to continue on,
He bit his lip as he took his hands, intertwining them with my own, “I’m taking you to Paris.”