Sapphire Eyes ~ 10 Chapter Challenge

Nine Months Before the Letter ~ Slipping ~ Jim

I pull the car up to the drop off zone. Mirna quickly gathers up her school stuff and leans over to give me a goodbye kiss on the cheek, something she never does when I drop her off for school.

Oh boy, here it comes.

"I'm hanging out with Nora and Laurel after school today, so you don't need to pick me up. I'll be home in time for dinner."

This strange sensation comes over me, like that moment of panic when you're parked in a lot and the car beside you starts to pull out, tricking your brain into thinking your foot slipped off the brake and your car is rolling away. Three months ago, Mirna would have asked for permission, but here she is telling me what's what. My little girl is slipping away from me. And I've only had her for a little over three years. It's just not fair.

Mirna puts her hand on the door handle. "We're going to the mall. I need twenty bucks."

Oh, no you don't! I'm about to go into Life Lesson Mode, but then I remember that I'm still in the drop off zone with dozens of parents waiting for me to move it. This is not the time or place for a lecture.

But I'm not letting her go after that. I check over my shoulder, pull the car out, and proceed to loop around the block.

"Jimmy?" Mirna shrinks into herself. "Are you mad?"

Then I realize that I'm more than a little upset. I take a big breath to calm down, all too aware of how long it's been since I spent some time relaxing. "Disappointed, Mirna. I see you changing right in front of me, and I don't like what you're turning into."

Mirna actually rolls her eyes.

I turn the corner rather recklessly. "Would you stop being a self-absorbed teenager for five minutes and treat me like my feelings actually matter?!"

Mirna gapes out the windshield.

"First of all, that is not how you ask if you can hang out with your friends after school. That is not how you ask for money. That is not how you treat me! Part of me thinks that your new friends are a bad influence on you. I thought you were better than that." I step on the brakes, bringing the car to a sudden halt at a stoplight.

"Yeah?" Mirna spits back. "Well, I thought you were a better father than this."

She's right. What has gotten into me? Even when I get upset, I never yell, but here I am, jumping down her throat over the smallest thing. I shake my head. It's that new medication's side effects, I just know it. The new med is working, but if this is the price I have to pay for better seizure control, then maybe I don't want it.

"Listen," I start, more softly this time. "I didn't mean to yell. I think you know that. Normally, I wouldn't get so worked up over this." The light changes, and I drive the car to the end of the block and turn again to head back to the school. "I don't like using side effects as an excuse, but it's the only explanation I've got. I'm sorry."

Mirna sighs. "I know ... Keppra is a bitch."

"Watch your mouth, young lady."

"Sorry." Mirna actually laughs. "I think you might be right about the bad influence thing."

"So what are you going to do about it?" I ask.

Mirna shrugs. "They're my best friends, Jimmy. I can't ditch them."

"Then you'll just have to try harder to be a good person even when they're not."

She nods. "Does that mean I can still go shopping after school?"

"Oh, I dunno ..." I stop at another red light. We're almost back at the school.

"Please, Jimmy?! It's the only chance I've got to go Christmas shopping for you and Deb."

Suddenly, everything slips into place. "So that's why you need twenty bucks, huh?"

Mirna nods sheepishly.

"You know you don't have to buy us anything, Sapph."

"But I want to get you guys something."

"The best presents are usually priceless." I make the last turn to go back to the drop off zone. "Why don't you make us something?"

"Yeah right," Mirna says under her breath. "What would I make?"

"You're a talented artist. I'm sure you could think of plenty of things to make." I pull up to the curb and ease the car to a stop. "Be home by six thirty."

"Okay. Thanks, Jimmy."

Before Mirna can get out of the car, I reach over and pull her into a soft hug. "Thank you too. For being understanding. I promise to try harder to control my outbursts, okay?"

"I promise to be a good influence and to ask the right way next time."

"Thank you." I let her go, pull my wallet out of my pocket, and give her a twenty dollar bill. "Just in case," I say with a wink.

"Thanks, Jimmy." Mirna gives me another kiss on the cheek and climbs out of the car. "But I'm not buying you something with your own money. That's dumb." She leans back in and holds the money out to me. I can't help but smile as I take the money back. There's the little girl I love. I hope I can always bring her back when she starts slipping.