We Could Have So Much More

Chapter Five

" Fuck you're getting better at basketball." Kevin exclaims.
" I've always been the best." I press my finger on shoulder.
I fix my hair and place both of my hands on his shoulders.
He frowns. He walks away.

There's this empty feeling in me.
He's uncomfortable, I need to understand that.
I mean I have to, I'm Ember.

" Hey Ember, come here." Gina calls.
" Yeah?" She scans me from bottom to top.
" come here." He commands.
She holds my hand and drags me.

" Ma'am, her." Gina points at me.
She takes me to the school theatre.
And the teacher points at a short red dress.
" I'm not wearing that."
I tell both of them.
" Why not?" Mrs.Green questions.
" It's too short." I whine.
" So is your top, honey." She ironically states.

I move my eyeballs left and right.
" I'm dress coding you if you-"
" Fine."
Gina jumps and wheezes in excitement.

I go in to change.
But my under panties get stuck to the chain of my jeans.
fuck.
I try to pull it out.
It tears.
Oh god, oh no.

I'm too messed up to think of a solution, so I leave the ripped piece of miserable crap there.

I walk out of the Changing stall, and bump into Trevor.
We make eye contact, and walk our ways.
He walks into my stall.
I pause.
HE WALKS INTO MY STALL. SHIT.

I run away as fast as I can to the theatre.
And Gina hands me some brown heels.
I do this stupid dance on camera.

While I'm dancing, literally retrying the dance for the sixth time.

Gina is getting frustrated and I'm starting to feel useless.

She's quiet, sits with her head on her hands.
" I'm sorry I'm not very familiar with dancing-"
Trevor sits with her and starts his stupid pick up lines.

Mrs.Smith walks in. " Oh god, what the hell guys?"
We all stare at her dumbly.
" SCHOOL WAS OVER TWO HOURS AGO."

" WHAT???"
"It's okay we'll arrange a bus for you guys."

" I'm sorry for being such a disappointment Gina." I apologise before I leave.
" I'll change."
She smiles.
" Nah, keep the dress." She says, " You weren't interested anyway."
She assures me she will be more smarter find someone more suitable next time.

I get on the bus in my red dress.
And if this day couldn't go any worse!
I had to sit with Trevor at the back seat.

" You're not into dancing?"

I shake my head.
My eyes face my feet.
He doesn't say anything for a few minutes.

" What were you supposed to do here anyway?" I question him.

" I play the guitar." He says, " didn't I tell you that?"

I nod. I look away, shaking my thighs.

" Well you called me a shameless cunt that day, I think?"

" I called you a bastard." I correct him.
I'm still not looking at his face.

He places his hand on my thighs.
" I think you're attracted to me."

The solid in my chest melts, and that liquid flows till my stomach.

He rubs his hand through my thighs.
He keeps going...

" Do I have your consent to go further?" He whispers.
I breathe.

I take his hand a little further so he knows where I want him to take his hand.
But I'm still not looking at him.

He pulls me a little closer to him with his other hand.
I breathe obviously again n again.

Two of his fingers finally reach my castle.
My hands grip the leather of the bus seat.
They keep on gripping while his fingers move explore around in circulation.
And oh- mm~ okay fuck fine.
I gasp. Breathe more obviously.
I try to get a look of his face.
His eyes are closed. He's smirking softly.

He whispers.
" My stop is about to arrive, you coming?"
" mm" That's my way to assure him that yes I'm so depressed and desperate that I'm gonna accompany you.
I did not want to satisfy him with a proper yes.
He gets up and I join him.

We get down and he pulls me inside the first house, I see.
I take my dress off and switch off the lights.
He takes his t shirt off and locks the door, while he grabs my waist.

" OKAY BUT NOTHING THAT CAN GET ME PREGNANT." I warn him.
He nods and softly kisses my neck,
Then my shoulder and my edges, curves, thighs.
He goes down on me.
Sensations go through my body while his mouth and hands dance on my body.

He pins me on the sofa, and connects his lips to mine and then slowly slides his tongue.
It's definitely not his first time.
My hands crawl through his hair.

We pause
We breathe
We repeat