We Could Have So Much More

Chapter Eighteen

We just got Ember's results back from her counselling for her eating disorder.
She walks out the building, I raise my eyebrows that are like " so? What happened?"
She bites her lip. Passes me the file.
" Might have risk."
I nod.
" I'm Taking you somewhere new today then."
I tell her.

" Where?" She asks. " Please don't tell me that cafe-""
She groans.
I laugh at her grown while I settle in my car.
" Where?" She asks again as she has a seat.

I take her to my house. She loves my house. Well she calls it ' Your rich house.'
But I'm perfectly fine with that, I'm happy to spend all my money on her.
And if we run out, I'll strip in clubs.

" Let's cook together." I request as I walk her into the kitchen.
She grins at my idea, she keeps on grinning while I tie the apron on her waist.

" What's the most delicious desert, you can think of?" I ask her.
She takes a minute. Another minute... three more minutes.
" Strawberry Cake?" I guess.
She nods as if that's what she was thinking about.
I mean that's the reason she gave me to come to the wedding.

" So we're baking together?" She inquires as she sits on the kitchen counter.
I kiss her forehead and nod.
I mix the batter. I want to make sure that she's safe eating with me.
I know, she's my girlfriend now but that doesn't mean I stop putting efforts on her.

I can't fix her all by myself but I wanna fix all I can.
I can't change her past but I must be capable of giving her a better and beautiful future.

I mix the batter, she stares at me.
I pass her the box of strawberries so she can feel productive.
She washes them. She stands right next to me and starts chopping.

" What would you name our kid?" She asks me.
" Anything, you want to." I tell her.
She looks at me so I pause wondering what I'd do wrong.
" You are gonna be there for OUR kid, right?" She asks me, she pronounces " Our" louder.
I mean she hasn't had the best father.
" You want a daughter or a son?" I inquire.
" I wanna a son just like you." She says " We need more men like you."
So I gave her the look this time. And she pauses this time wondering what she said wrong.
" So a daughter can't be like me?" I ask, taking the strawberries into the batter.

She pauses. " Yeah a daughter can definitely be like you." She says, " I didn't think of it that way."

I place the cake into the oven. She stares at the oven as if we have no work now.
" We need to make frosting." I tell her.
She gives me a look. " Why can't we buy frosting."
I was more keen on making frosting with her but I guess the oven is more appealing to her than I am.

So I order it online and sit on the kitchen table with her.
She kisses my lips.
I try to reduce the sex as much as I can so I can prove to her that I am so much more.
But I don't ever interfere into her wants.
" How's your relationship with your parents?" She asks me.
" Not bad." I tell her but it's definitely not good either.
" rich parents, busy parents." She says.

"Do you have any exes?" She asks me.
" Had one, her name was Veronica."
" Rich name." She says.
" Yeah, but she cheated on me." I shrug.

My phone tings.
" Shit-" I curse.
" They can't deliver the frosting, I'll ask the neighbours." I assure her.
" I'll stay here." She tells me.
I nod.

When I come back, she's looking at the cake she took out.
" They didn't have white or pink frosting." I lament, " Is chocolate gonna work?"
She nods.
She insists to frost the cake.
She writes " E heart T." On the surface of the cake. I smile at the cake.
She applies a bit of chocolate frosting on my lip playfully.
I place my chocolate lip on hers so she can taste the chocolate.
We laugh.
She cuts a piece of cake and hands it to me.
I pick a spoon up and give her a bite.
" How does it taste?" I wonder.
" Perfect."

I take a bite. " Perfect indeed."
I make sure she has a good amount of cake. Because it's okay to have cake. It's okay to eat.
Before she leaves, she gives me a piece of folded paper and insists to leave on her own.

I unfold the paper.

Dear Trevor, I don't think I deserve you.
You do so much for me. Too much for me.
Even if my dad would have stayed, he wouldn't have done this much for me.

I have no idea how I make us even, what I have to give to you but love and appreciation.
I love sunsets but I love them more with you.
You know I really wished Dylan didn't corrupt the workshop cause we really need photography skills.

I'm writing this while you bring frosting for me.
You do so much for me, I have no idea why..
Like I still remember first meeting you at the girls washroom and now I'm on your kitchen table.

You made me realise how men can really be different and not fake it.
I love studying with you, I love eating with you,
I love sleeping with you and I GOTTA GO I HEAR THE DOOR-
But you weren't wrong when you said we could have so much more.