We Could Have So Much More

Chapter Seventeen

Ember has always been so strong.
Her parents never had it easy on her, she tried to apply for striping, that's how far she's went.
I'm amazed as a human, with the confidence she has and the things she's done to earn a body, her grades.
She got the highest grade in maths this time, she thanked me with a bouquet of roses.

Ember has been so feisty, the girl doesn't take any disrespect, no matter who it is.
She's been avoiding Helen and she's been acting like they were never friends.
I understand Kevin but calling her a slut was wrong.
He kinda made her feel insecure and after all whats she's went through, I feel physical intimacy makes her secure.

My sister Tracy would have loved her, they would have get along so much.
Today I'm taking Ember to her Grave and then lunch at that same Bangladeshi place.

She's playing " I want it all." In the car, yes Mr. Dalton's Car.
" Don't you play instruments?" She asks me.
I nod. " Play the trumpet for me, today."
I laugh, " Sure."

We sit at the grave, I tell her stories about Tracy.
Ember looks at the picture of Tracy and all she can say is ' Wow she's so dazzling.'
Indeed she was dazzling, too dazzling she was killed and did not even have a proper funeral.
I tell her all of this, how I had to fight the evil lady who owned the strip club to give me Tracy's pending salary.
Ember tells me she's astonished.
We chat and chat all morning till it's twelve thirty.

On our way to the restaurant, she stops
at the medical store, Ember needed to buy something. She insisted I stay at the car, she comes back. She smiles at me.

I take her to the Bangladeshi place, we order the same Bangladeshi coconut curry prawns with naan this time.
And of course I had to feed her.
She had to go the bathroom too many times though.
Then she insisted we go to my house.
" Wow, so many instruments." She says with her fingers on my piano.
" You wanted me to play the Trumpet?"
I remind her.
She nods " mhm."
" I'll go get it from the other room."
She smiles, her hand has been inside her pocket for too long.
" I'll be in the bathroom."
I nod and get my trumpet, when I get back with my trumpet. She's still in the bathroom. For too long.
I plan when she comes back I'm gonna blow a welcoming sound.

I wait, I scroll through our selfies while she's in the bathroom.
I hear the door open and pick up my trumpet and start blowing ' DA DA DA'
" shush Trevor." She rattles.

" I'm pregnant."

She says shaking the test, I notice, I look closer. She's about to cry.
I walk to her, I hug her. She starts sobbing.
" I mean you always wanted to be a mother, right?" I try to make her feel better.
She smacks my chest.
" I'm not even eighteen yet! I'm turning seventeen in like six months!"
Yeah, I realise how wrong I was for that shit.
" I don't have money for the abortion and and I can't let my mom know." She sobs on my chest.
" I'll pay for it." I assure.
" But that's so wrong." She says.
" Ember, it was my dick, even if you had the money I would have payed."
She looks at me. " I'll book your appointment for this Tuesday." I say.

"Did it hurt?" I ask her in the car.
She pauses.
" I really want to have a baby with you when I grow up."
I blush at her compliment. I mean it's a compliment, right?

" That's a nice thing to hear." I tell her, " It felt nice."

She smiles at me.