The Re-search

Chapter 7

On our last full day in Kigali, Nella woke me up with breakfast in bed, a full spread of English breakfast delivered with coffee brewed just the way I liked it. She was all smiles as she demanded that I taste everything on the plate and tell her how it tasted.

We'd had a beautiful week together in Kigali, making memories as we went on dinner dates, a movie date, a safari drive at a wildlife park, a tea-tasting event and an indoor picnic Nella had organised behind my back. Although this whole vacation was my idea, I was happy to see her eager to spoil and treat me as well, her willingness to do things for me making me feel appreciated.

When we weren't out and about, we were mostly in bed, either talking, reading or making love after Nella finally let her guard down and let me in, the steamy moments between us turning our reignited spark into a burning flame as we made up for lost time.

She'd insisted that I give her full rein to plan the last day's activities, and judging by the beautifully plated food in front of me, I was in for a treat.

We ate and watched the first match of the season from the large TV in our room, the Kitalo Blazers making us proud as we both shouted and cheered from the comfort of our bedsheets. Every once in a while, when things weren't too heated on the court, I'd feel Nella's worried eyes on me.

"What's up, baby?" I asked eventually, taking my eyes off a clip of Akim passing the ball to Chi to give Nella my undivided attention.

"I'm just wondering if you feel bad about being here instead of on the court with the others right now." she admitted, unable to keep her eyes on me as the corners of her lips drooped downwards.

"Nella, it's okay." I told her, using my hand to lift her chin so she could see my face and know I was being sincere. "Does it feel weird watching instead of playing? For sure. But I don't feel bad. You and I are good for the first time in what feels like forever. I'm happy here with you."

"So you're not internally kicking yourself over this?" she asked.

"No, I'm not." I assured, wrapping my hand around hers. "And I hope you're not internally kicking yourself over it, either. We're good."

"I love being loved by you." Nella said in a whisper. "Everything in you lives to make me happy, you're heaven-sent, Hasani. I'll spend a lifetime trying to match up and I know it still won't be enough."

"Listen to you talking like your love doesn't keep me afloat." I chuckled. "It seems you're forgetting how good you've been to me."

"I haven't been as good to you as you've been to me." she said, a tear falling from her right eye.

"Nella, I think I need to introduce you to my wife." I said softly, my thumb wiping her cheek. "She's been there for me through the toughest times of my life, like when I got into a car accident and had recurring nightmares for weeks, she sacrificed her nights for me, soothing me back to sleep without ever complaining about the inconvenience. Or how she stood by my side when I visited my brother's grave for the first time since we buried him, holding me in her arms as I fell apart in public. Or how she takes fresh flowers to his grave every time she visits her father's, even though she didn't know him. How she was right there for my family and I when my sister was coming into this world. How she drove for hours in the rain to get me to the hospital after I found out my mom had gotten injured."

"Okay, you can stop now." Nella said, her voice strained from the tears she was holding back.

"No, I don't think I can." I continued. "Not until you know my wife puts everything down whenever I have a basketball game, always making sure she's supporting me from the stands. Even when people said horrible things about her on the internet, she was at every game, cheering me on through her pain. And did you know my wife tends to every injury I sustain after a match--she's attentive to even the tiniest wound or bruise, running me baths and giving me massages, pain patches, hot meals--when I'm too tired to even lift a finger? Did you know she flew all the way back from London and lost a brand partnership when she found out I'd sprained my ankle during practice? Did you know she spends hours praying over me, has pages in her prayer journal with my name written all over them because she always wants what's best for me?"

Nella took a heavy breath and let the tears fall, her shoulders shaking as I wrapped my arms around her and offered more comfort.

"Baby, I hope you get it now. I'm good to you because you're good to me. If this was one-sided, we'd never even make it to marriage, do you hear me?" I said as she cried some more, nodding against my chest as I soothed her back with my hands. "I'm here because I also love the way you love me. That will never change."

We exchanged teary I love yous and finished the game in each other's arms, hitting the shower together and getting dressed in casual outfits in preparation for whatever she had planned for the day.

***

We were on a serious road trip, Nella driving us through beautiful, scenic to roads surrounded by greenery on each side as we approached Musanze, the place the GPS was guiding her to. She was excited to show me what had come up in her research for something fun for us to do together, insisting that I would absolutely love the places she was taking me to.

We arrived at a guarded gate, the smiling security guard handing us a roster to write our names and details down on before opening the gate for us to enter. As Nella drove in, a huge sign read The Ellen DeGeneres Campus of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund and excitement bubbled up inside me when I realised why she was so excited. The place was a gorilla sanctuary, built as an initiative to sustain the lives and safety of gorillas and promote ecotourism in the country.

As a lover of nature, this conservation initiative was right up my alley. I loved exploring nature, immersing myself in knowledge about the animal and plant life most people took for granted or just failed to notice.

We walked into the building and started the self-guided tour, enjoying interactive educational programs about gorillas, like a stand where you could learn how to communicate like them, the exercise difficult to get through without laughing.

After looking through a catalogue of the animals that could be spotted on the conservation campus, as well as reading through the names of the gorillas and their meanings, we walked into a dark room with a huge screen shaped in a semicircle. This was where we got to see live screenings of the gorillas as they went about their normal lives in the depths of the forest.

There was a sense of calmness in the tranquillity displayed on the screen, the lush green forest quiet and full of many wonders for us to feast our eyes on, the gorillas looking relaxed and at peace, undisturbed by poaching or any other forms of cruelty. I was entranced, my mind committing these images to memory.

As the screen displayed more of the forest, a clip came on with a big, imposing gorilla, her body taking up majority of the screen. She was clearly fierce, a force to be reckoned with, but what really stood out about her was the gentleness in her eyes as she gazed lovingly at her much tinier, nursing baby. The tiny gorilla was wrapped in its mother's arms, eyes closed as it suckled peacefully.

The sound of Nella taking a deep inhale drew my attention to her and I caught her in a vulnerable moment, her eyes transfixed on the mundane, yet significant display before her. The rawness in her dewy eyes pulled me to her. I took a step behind her and wrapped her up in a back hug, my face snug against hers as both our hands went to her stomach.

"Are you okay?" I asked, soft enough for only her to hear.

"Yeah," she said simply, "I'm good. I think I'm finally healing."

And she was. Smiling as we moved on and explored more of the place, her countenance a clear display of contentment. The last thing we did was settle at the campus's café before we got back on the road with me behind the wheel for the journey back.

The last item Nella had in store for us was a relaxing couple's spa date, the perfect way to reset before our morning flight back to Kitalo. Nella had outdone heself.