The Re-search

Chapter 13

Four months later...

Eight hours. That's how long Nella had been in labour. Eight excruciating hours and counting.

She wasn't dilated enough when we first arrived at the hospital after her water broke in the kitchen. At the time, she still had enough breaks (and energy) between contractions to film footage for her birth vlog, sing and pray along to worship music to prepare her mind and spirit for the labour and delivery process, and even engage in conversation with everyone who'd been dropping by to see how she was doing.

Now, though, she was just in pain, contracting almost every two minutes, crying through a type of pain I'd never be able to understand. Pain I wished I could experience on her behalf. I'd never seen my wife so distraught. Her whimpers and groans were heartbreaking to hear, her contorted face twisting my heart in my chest.

"How am I only six centimetres dilated and the pain is this bad?" Nella cried through a contraction, her hand gripping mine as her back stiffened against my chest.

"Welcome to motherhood." her mom said gently. "You're doing well, Ornella. Keep taking deep breaths."

"Yeah, baby." I mumbled in her ear. "You're strong. You're capable. You were hand picked to be our little boy's mom. You'll be okay."

Nella nodded and scrunched her face as another contraction hit. An exasperated moan escaped her chest and her head fell back against my shoulder as the contraction hit its peak.

"Come on, Yaya." she breathed, her hand rubbing her swollen belly. "Please, my baby, let's get to the part where I'm holding you in my arms already."

"How do you think he's doing in there? What do you think is going through his mind as your body tries to get him out?" I asked, trying to distract her from the pain.

"He's probably sleeping while I do all the hard work." Nella laughed before doubling over as yet another contraction overtook her body.

A nurse came in then, her full attention on Nella as she made note of the progress made so far. "Okay, you're eight centimetres dilated. You're doing well. You'll be pushing any minute now."

The minutes ticked by and turned into thirty, my anxiety rising as I wondered whether I really understood what the words any minute now actually meant.

Finally, about an hour later, when the nurse returned to check Nella's cervix, she looked up at us and smiled. "It's time."

***

"That's it, Nella! A few more pushes and your baby will be here!" my midwife, Jessica, said as my grip on Hasani's hand weakened.

"I don't think I can." I cried, my knees weak, my entire back in excruciating pain, my pelvis and everything surrounding it needing a whole new word to describe the amount of pain  I felt there.

"Nella, you absolutely can. You've come so far." I heard Aisha say from the foot of the bed.

"Yeah, sisi." Ketura chimed in. "You have to see it through."

"It hurts." I said, shaking my head as panic rose to the surface.

"Baby," Sani said in a soothing voice, "look at me. Think about what's on the other side of your pushing. The answer to our prayers. He's almost here."

He was right. I'd longed for this day for years. I'd prayed, cried, screamed and begged for just one chance at motherhood, and now I was mere minutes away from seeing that dream come true. I had to keep going.

"Okay," I said to Jessica, "I'm ready."

The next few minutes were emotionally charged as I channeled every bit of strength I had into pushing out my baby boy.

"I can see his head. Aww, look at all that hair." I heard Ketura squeal, her enthusiasm giving me a flicker of hope.

"Yes, Nella, good job." Jessica encouragd, her hand reaching between my legs. "Okay, we need one or two more big pushes. Take a deep breath as I count down from ten and give me all you've got when I say push, okay?"

I nodded and took a breath, my mind clinging to Hasani's words as the entire room spurred me on. Seconds later, time came to a halt as the sound of my baby's cries filled the room. Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks as a nurse put him in my arms, the feeling of holding a baby I'd just brought into the world indescribable. I couldn't stop staring. Couldn't say a word as Jessica helped Hasani safely cut the cord.

He's finally here.

***

He was perfect, laying his head on my chest as he slept peacefully.

It had been hours since Yankho Steven Kitembo came into the world and Sani and I were entranced, unable to keep our eyes off the tiny person we made. His name, the Chewa word for answer, was a no-brainer when we'd sat down together to pick a name months earlier.

Every little thing he did was mesmerising, the way he stretched his little body, the sounds he made as he latched onto my breast and had his very first meal. The sound of his voice as he cried and whimpered.

"I can't believe it." I whispered, trailing a finger along his hairline as Sani stared into his beautiful eyes.

"We have a baby." he whispered back, his mouth spreading into a smile.

I smiled too, my head craned to look at Yankho's face. "We do. How do you feel, Daddy?"

Hasani grinned at the sound of that. "I've never been happier. I can't wait for him to start calling me that."

"Sorry to break it to you, but you'll have to wait a while for that, Sani." I laughed and held the baby out to him. He took him gently, holding him in a way that helped him look at him from head to toe, his tiny body swaddled in the hospital's blanket.

"He's perfect." he said with tears in his eyes.

"He is." I agreed. "He's a tiny version of you."

Sani looked into my eyes and I saw nothing but love in his. Unfiltered, undiluted, unmistakable love. I hoped he saw the same thing in mine.

"Nella, I love you more than words can say." he said sweetly. "Thank you. Yankho is the best gift you've ever given me."

"I love you with everything in me." I said with tears in my eyes. "Thank you for loving me so deeply, Sani. Thank you for making me someone's mommy."

He leaned in, his lips lightly pressing against mine a few times before I parted mine to let him in, our mouths merging together so I couldn't tell where one tongue ended and the other began. The feeling of kissing my husband while our newborn baby slept soundly between us couldn't be compared to anything else.

Nothing I'd ever felt in life came remotely close to the love that coursed through me in that moment, and I knew I'd do it all over again, live through every word, every disappointment, every tear I'd ever cried, if it meant I'd get to feel this way again.

~~~

The end.