Practice was going as usual, Ishan in tandem with the other players. At lunch time, his phone rang, causing him to excuse himself from the table. He went to the balcony adjacent to the hall, unaware of the four pairs of eyes that were trained on him. "Ram ram bhai sarane. Aap kaise hoi ba?" "Mein thik hun. Hum sab thik hai, ab tera bata." "Aaj bhojpuri se hindi mein kyu?" "Bas mood nahi hai, topic divert mat kar." "Thik hu." "Sach mein? Usne kuch kaha kya?" "Nahi, nahi bhaiya. Meine idhar sab kuch handle kar liya hai." "Meri pyaari Aleya kaisi hai?" "Woh bhi bilkul fine hai. Par ab usse baat nahi kar sakte." "Kyu?" "Woh abhi mein practice par aaya hun na. Toh isliye Aleya ko Tilak ke ghar chhod aaya hun."
The unimpressive silence treatment was countered by a whine, "Brevis hai wahan. Woh dono bachcho ko sambhal lega." "Thik hai. Ek baat sun. Aleya ki padhai ka kya?" "Meine darasal iss bare mein abhi socha nahi hai bhaiya." "Are pagle kab sochega tu? She won't be able to catch up if she is left out for long. Tu abhi regularly khelega na?" "Ji, contract mein aisahi hai." "Tujhe shayaad meri baat achhi na lage, but these are the options you have. One, you homechool her, taking her with you, wherever you go but this will hamper her social development and the second and worse option, sending her to a boarding school." "Aap yeh kya keh rahe ho bhai?" "Aleya ke bhale ke kiye bol raha hun. Samajhne ki koshish kar." "Par main uske bina kaise jiunga?" "Tu hi uska baap bhi hai, aur ma bhi. Aleya ko thik se nurture karne ki zimmedari teri hai. Aur yeh decisions tujhe khud hi lene parenge. Tu bohot strong hai, mere bhai. Tune aaj tak akele saari duniya se ladke usko bachaya hai, ab uski life ka next chapter bhi tuhe hi banana hai, par ek baat yaad rakhna mere bhai. Tu jo bhi decide karega, mein uss decision par tere saath hu. I will never ever abandon you."
"Bye bhai. Mujhe thoda time chahiye." "Ok. Bye, take care." Ishan's hands trembled as he caught on to the railing for support. He would not be able to live without Aleya. He needed to get away from the public's eyes, he realised as the panic set in. He needed to hide and what place was better than the bathroom. He cursed mentally when he realised that the door could be opened from outside even if it was locked but nobody would probably visit this one. It was at the farther end of the rather abandoned hotel. His heart beat faster with every passing second, his ribs feeling like they were crushing his lungs as he could not get enough oxygen in his body. Ishan slid down the wall as he crouched on the ground. He tried digging his fingernails in the scarred tissue around his wrists, but this time his tried and tested method of panic attack prevention failed him miserably as his mind spiraled.
It was the day when he had publicly announced his decision to take a break. His father had been the first person to call him, "Abbe saale tera dimaag to thikane par hai na! Kyu kiya tune aisa?" The tone of his father's voice awoke the scared five year old in his heart, "Pa-papa, I just..." "Kya sochta kya hai tu apne aap ko? Pataa hai kitne bachcho ke sapne hote hai ICT join karna aur tujhe eh sunhera mauka mila bhi tha, phirbhi tune team chhod di." "Mujhe har match mein benched nahi..." "Tera dhyaan kabhi match par rehta hai? Har vakth Shubman yeh, Shubman woh. Agar tu saara time dusro ke piche guzaarega toh khud ki improvement kab karega?" His father asked in an exasperated voice.
"Papa woh baat nahi hai. Mein playing eleven mein tha iss baar, par meri body permit nahi karegi." This arose the tendrils of worries in the family's mind for the phone was on speaker. Ishan's mother asked, "Tu thik to hai na, beta?" The lad could not control his emotions at his mother's warm concern, "Ma, papa, idhar bohot bada ghotala ho chuka hai." "Kya hua hai, Ishan? Khul ke bol", his father was worried as his younger son sounded close to tears, the man felt guilty for having thus scolded him. "Mein pregnant hun", Ishan broke down sobbing. "Tu-tu mazaak kar raha hai na hamare saath?", his brother who had just heard the last sentence, having hardly entered the house from the hospital asked. "Na-nahi bhai. Mein sach keh raha hun." "Par, par tu toh ladka hai na." "Hai bhai, mein ladka hi hun, but the doctor I went to in Mumbai said that I was one in a million of those children who despite belonging to one gender, retain the reproductive organs of their complementary counterparts."
"Tu mujhe reports send kar jaldi." After two minutes, the entirety of which were filled with panicked mumblings of his parents while Raj bhaiya tried calming them down, Ishan gasped, "Kya aapko mujhse kuch nahi kehna?" His brother sounded like a man trying to approach a wounded animal, "Tune hume itni der se kyu bataya? You are nearly five fucking months along, Ishan Kishan!" His father sounded hysterical when he suggested, "Tu abhi ke abhi ghar wapas aaja. Hum tera abortion karwayenge. Tu ladka hai, aur iss pregnancy mein bohot saare health complications ho sakte hai. Tera pura career barbaad ho jayega, Ishu." "Papa, please, aapke pair padhta hun, aisa mat bolo. Mere bachche ka kya kasoor hai?" His mother tried placating him, "Beta, tune socha hai ki duniya iske baad tum dono ko kis nazroon se dekhega? Abortion best option hai. Tumhare bhaiya ne isliye cricket nahi chhodi ki tum ek galat decision ke liye aapni puri ki puri zindagi kharab kar do."
"Papa, mummy, aap yeh sab kya keh rahe ho?" Raj's tries to stop his parents failed as his father questioned, "Bachche ka baap kaun hai?" "Pata nahi. I was too drunk that night to remember." "Toh tu ek galti ke liye saari life regret karne ko tayyar hai?" "Please aisa mat bolo. I will never regret my child..." "That's your pregnancy hormones speaking Ishan. The childbirth will change your body forever. You will never be able to play the same again." The child was the only memory of Shubman Ishan had left, he realised. The BCCI had already forced him to resign because of the rumours which were affecting the image of the ICT and he was their most disposable player. Self doubt spread its vile tentacles, twisting his perceptions as his parents did their best to convince him to kill the child for good, but Ishan knew, he would never be able to do this to his own child. He had already started speaking to them in solitude, basking in their quiet affection.
He was prepared to take on the world as he declared, "I am keeping this child, papa." "Tune hamare khandaan ke izzat ke bare mein socha bhi hai?" "Tere papa moholle mein muh dikhane ke laayak bhi nahi rahenge." He did not know what had possessed him to say the next words but he did, "I'll do anything for my child, even if it means breaking off all ties with m family." His mother's mocking was the last thing he heard from his mother, "Baadmein muh utha ke idhar maat chale aana jab koi tum jaise freak ke saath nahi rahega." "Aaj se mera sirf ek hi beta hai", his father concluded, before the call disconnected with a set of beeps. He remembered feeling so lonely, panic creeping up on him as the gravity of the situation hit him how was he supposed to handle everything with his family's support?
Ishan's vision started blurring when he heard a faint commotion. He felt like he was underwater as someone crushed him to their chest, urging him to match his breathing with them. It was difficult at first but as the fog cleared very very slowly, he realised that Shubman was his prince charming yet again as the taller held his wrists away from his body, so that he could not hurt himself anymore. They stung as Shubman's bare hands pressed against the deep scratches Ishan had etched onto them. The shorter flinched when he spoke to someone else, why was everything suddenly so bright and uncomfortable? Why were they shouting like Neanderthals. As his eyes drooped from fatigue, Ishan thought that he heard Shubi say while rubbing comforting patterns on his writs, tracing the thin patterns with his thumb, "I'll make everything right, meri Ishu. Bas tu yakeen rakhna mujhpar." And thus he drifted off, a permanent smile branded on his face.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Thoda rushed lag sakta hai, as I am fucking sleepy right now. Comment to let me know how you liked it. The idea is from the comments though.
Enjoy, Adiraj.
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My Lover's The Sunlight...
FanfictionThis is purely a fictional fanfiction, but how I wish it was true. In the beginning it may seem that I have copied the works of some writers on this same couple, but believe me, I have indeed been inspired by them, but the good things, the original...
