Shubman stared dumbfounded as Ishan disappeared down the corridor, his eyes trained on the shaking hands of the elder. SKY, KL and Rishabh shared a glance at each other as the youngest got up from his chair, food forgotten to follow after his "best friend". SKY made a mental note to get him some snack later, to make up for the calories. "Kya hua Shubi?" They shared the same anxious looks on their faces. "Ishan, woh, woh abhi idhar hi tha, par gaya kaha?" "Abhi aata hoga. Tu kyu itna tension le raha hai?" Rahul tried to reason with him, but Shubman held both of his hands as he pleaded, "Nahi bhaiya. Mera dil keh raha ki kuch hua hai Ishu ko. Woh thik nahi hai, jab woh idhar aaya tha, tab uske haath kaap rahe the. I need to find him somehow."
Their ears perked at the sudden muffled cry of "Noooo", coming from the far end of the corridor. Shubman ran towards the last door, like a man possessed. His desperation to get the closed door open was heart-wrenching, but he was too anxious to get it open fast enough by himself, so Rishabh stepped up to help him. The scene they saw inside broke their hearts. Tears were streaming down Ishan's face as he shook uncontrollably, rambling unintelligibly. "Don't, I beg you, don't do this." Ishan was out of his mind and they needed to bring him back somehow. "Is - is that blood on his hands?" Rahul was horrified at the dark liquid that pooled around his little brother's wrists. Without a care in the world, Shubman slid across the bathroom floor to engulf Ishan in what was probably the comfortable hug, yes, Ishan had taught him how to hug someone perfectly.
"Ishu, Ishu shant ho ja." Shubman's pleading fell to deaf ears as Ishan was too deep into the grip of his panic attack. Rishabh knelt beside the both of them, trying to divert the man's attention. SKY suggested, "How about we try out the 54321 rule? KL, call the medic immediately." "Ishu, focus on your breathing. Try to sync it with mine and Shubi's." It was easier said than done as the former cricketer started calming down infinitesimally. "Ish, tu sunn sakta hai mujhe?" A nearly non-existent nod was Shubman's reply that encouraged him to go on, "Baby, tell me five things you can see." "Fi-fi-five?" "Try, you can do it." "Ground, light, jer-jersey, feet, Shubi." Rishabh said, "Four things you can touch?" He laid a hand over Ishu's to prompt him. "You, cloth against my skin, cold tile, sweat." By the fourth question, Ishan had calmed down considerably.
It was when the team medic, Kamlesh bhaiya arrived and took charge of the situation. Shubman followed after them like an ant after nectar. Practice was over for the both of them. The intern stood poised while bandaging the wounds on Ishan's wrists as Kamlesh bhai walked Shubman through all the immediate medications he was to take after dinner and suggested that he should take Ishan to a therapist soon. The silence between them was foreboding as the younger drove them back to the hotel they were staying at. The atmosphere was thick with tension, so dense that could be cut by a knife. Shubi led Ishu to sit on the bed while he himself knelt down in front of him. Untangling the fists that were clenched hard enough to leave crescent prints on his palms, the batsman twined them in his own. Tears had started dropping from both of their eyes as he asked, "Kya hua tha, Ishu?"
The questioned man choked on a sob. "It is very silly, honestly. I really don't know why I am upset over something so trivial." "Baat kya hai yeh toh pehle bataa?" "Raj bhaiya Aleya ke padhai ke baare mein puchh rahe the." Shubi encouraged him to continue with a nod. "Woh keh rahe the ki mujhe Aleya ko hostel mein bhej dena chahiye." Shubman did not know why but these words hurt. He had hardly known the child for 7 hours now, but he it felt like she was an important part of his life, as important as Ishan maybe? He had felt that connection with her and wanted to follow his heart regarding her. "Par hum toh 'Leya ko homeschool bhi kar sakte hai?" "Bhai ne bola ki uska social development hamper ho sakta hai?" "Tu tension kyu le raha hai. ICT ke saare bachcho ka every week ek play date mandatory hai. She'll be happy with all her elder brothers and sisters." "Aur jab hum international games khelne jayenge?" "Aleya saath chalegi. Substitute players uska dhyaan rakhte hain jab hum crease par centuries banaenge."
"Tujhe pata hai, english mein ek kahavat hai: Don't built castles in the air. Because that's what you are doing." The slight smile on Ishan's lips unleashed a kaleidoscope of butterflies in his stomach. "Turi faltu mein tension lene aadat nahi gayi, hai na?" The hug this time was more comfortable as he nuzzled in the crook of Ishan's neck, taking in the sweat and musk. He had to think of many not hot things to stop his body from having an unholy reaction to this closeness. Shubman knew that he needed to grovel his way back to his corner of Ishan's heart and slow and steady wins the race. "Go and take a bath, you stink." "Me? Saale ben stokes you are the one who stinks!" "What happened to taking the bathroom first and using up the hot water?" Kishan teased. Shubman huffed, "Jo offer mil raha hai, accept kar le. Nahito agar tujhe thand lag gayi na, mein tujhe le jaake Rahul bhaiya ke hawale kar doonga." No, Ishan absolutely did not want to imagine how many disappointed looks the senior would give him for the fatal offense. "Mein jaa raha hoon, beta. Aisi afshagoon wali baatein nahi karte."
Shubman watched fondly as Ishan disappeared inside the bathroom. He sat down on the floor. Flashes of Ishan's nightmare greeted him when he closed them for a moment. "Ishan would tell me about them when he feels comfortable," he thought but it hurt that he had lost the closeness that bound them together. Were the bridges really burnt to the ground or if he tried his best, he could rebuild the trust they had? He shook off the depressing thoughts that came to haunt him with the image of Ishan that had seared itself in his mind that morning as he laid out the clothes for him and Ishan to wear after showering. Of course, the comfiest clothes he owned were Ishan's, his little dynamite deserved to be coddled like the baby he was, but that did not excuse him from answering the questions about the serious self-harm he was doing. Shubman planned to breach the topic, that night when they would tuck Aleya in for sleeping and would have a date - a friendly date with Ishan's favourite chocolate brownies and ice-cream while watching those obnoxious Bollywood movies.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I really hope that you will like this fic if it goes on for longer. I am in love with ISHMAN/SHUBISH. They are absolutely fire. I want to see them together on the field again and enjoy their banter.
A request to my bestie: PLEASE LOOK AT ME LIKE SHUBMAN LOOKS AT ISHAN!
Don't you dare comment "T-shirt hataake paseena chatega." Those roles have been reversed for now. Agla chapter kya hona chahiye? Please thode ideas de do. 🥺👉👈
Mein shayaad Aleya par zyaada hi focus kar raha hun, but I want her to be a part of the love story. Bachche ki parvarish thik se honi chahiye.
Enjoy, Adiraj.
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