All My Courageous Lies

Look What I Made You Do

Unfortunately, the heat of the summer made DQ the town's favorite spot. Usually, it was the caffeine cafe Brew-ha, where teens studied, performed, and ate cookies larger than their faces. 

Crowds made everything worse - Gavin included. He'd rarely let me go anywhere without an escort, like he was protecting me from an assassin instead of a friend I no longer deserved...

Ayden hadn't said anything to me, even after that horrible day. Mars swore he'd call, then lectured me for not even trying to reach out. But she didn't see his face...  I couldn't bring myself to even try. It had been over a month since I saw him; a month of the overnight shift so I didn't have to keep switching shifts; a month of spending as much time alone as I could; a month of Gavin pushing for more, only pushing me further and further from the sympathy and guilt I'd felt for him. Being his 'little thing' he had to hide away was getting old fast, but I also learned how to pin him back - you know, when I was angry enough to stand up for myself. 

That night I was more than angry enough. Feeling alone and suffocated all at once made me far more irritable than I could remember. It was getting close to closing time, so it wasn't like they were busy. The way he had his buddies flanking us in a circle definitely wasn't helping. I swore he thought he was a mob boss. So when I decided I wanted to use the restroom, and he tried to delegate an escort, I nearly screamed. 

"You can't be serious." I didn't speak much in the group, but when I did, it was to challenge his stupidity. So I wasn't surprised when I watched a few guys' eyes shift from me to Gavin. They were waiting for the entertainment. And I was too, honestly. "No, please, explain to me why Michael should walk me to the bathroom."

His eyelids fell, I'm not sure when he stopped finding me endearing, but I didn't mind. "I just want to keep you safe." His whisper was slow - a warning - annunciating but low enough in volume. 

"Should he hold my hand as well? Make sure I wash my hands? On second thought, maybe he should come in with me, right?" Michael coughed, probably uncomfortable with what I was implying. That made me feel a little bad.

Michael was Gavin's best friend and roommate, meaning he was the only one in the group he trusted me to be alone with, and probably the best part of Gavin and I's "relationship". Michael was unnaturally down to earth; you know for the group he chose. He was funny, thoughtful, and had become a good friend on the days I sat in their apartment waiting for Gavin. He was a gentle guy, better than his friend in most ways. He didn't deserve the position he was put in. 

I tried to give him a sympathetic look before switching my challenge back to Gavin. He was contemplating, I could see his hand flinching, begging to teach me a lesson. I wanted him to hit me; not just because I deserved to hurt, but because it gave me a reason to stop this idiocy. He would've been the one to fail on our deal. Not me. But instead, his upper lip curled in a snarl and his eyes still glared, wishing, as he said "Fine. Then fucking go."

I took my consolation prize with a satisfied smirk and turned on my heels to head to the restroom. I took my sweet time, checking my texts without someone reading over my shoulder. 

When the time started to become long enough that assumptions would become slightly embarrassing, I reluctantly stepped out of the bathroom. I was looking for the longest way back around when it happened. I saw him. 

I stopped in my tracks, studying him in his slumped stance, as he scrolled through his phone and held his plastic number teepee in his other hand. Something about him just standing there made me hold my breath. My skin buzzed, and I couldn't look away. His hair was growing, mostly on the top. I always preferred his shaggy look. I saw bootcamp on him for the first time that summer. His bicep flexed the sleeves of his t shirt as he relaxed against the wall, and his jaw was sharper than before.