ENG - My best friend's sister ᵐᶦᵏᵉʸ ˣ ᵒᶜ

96

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Mikey POV

After she falls unconscious, it feels as if the world around me sinks into a gloomy fog. My hands tremble as I gently pick her up, and her body seems so light and fragile in my arms. I get her to the hospital as quickly as possible.
The guys who are here are not really many, I leave them here and I hope they die. The supposed leader, whose name I finally know, wasn't here, otherwise I would have killed him myself.
But now that I know who this bastard is, I won't rest until he pays for it.

[...]

She has been lying motionless in hospital for hours now, sleeping. Ever since we were allowed to visit her, I have been sitting at her bedside holding her hand while my head rests heavily on the bed. The sight of her sleeping peacefully always brings tears to my eyes. Her whole body is covered in wounds and the doctors have had to stitch her up in many places. It is nothing short of a miracle that no bones are broken.

Although she is safe now, that doesn't change the fact that it happened because of me. The minutes and hours pass, and with every passing second the guilt grows, as if it were eating me up from the inside. The kidnapping, the torture and the rape she had to go through - all of it could have been avoided if I wasn't in her life. It was only because I was so selfish and didn't want to let her go that it happened. All the suffering she has had to endure is down to my decisions and feelings.
It is my fault.
Only because I fell in love with her.
Tears well up in my eyes again. I hide my face in her sheets and gently squeeze her hand, as if I could express all my pain and remorse through this gesture.

The darkness inside me becomes more and more oppressive the longer I sit at her bedside. The thoughts that torment me are relentless and merciless.
How could I have been so blind?
How could I sacrifice her safety so recklessly?
How could I have been so self-centered and put my own feelings above her safety?
Was my love really that selfish?
I feel like I sealed her fate and sent her to this hell. The guilt that torments me is almost unbearable. I can no longer think clearly and the tears won't stop flowing. I bury my face even deeper in the sheets, as if I could hide from my own guilt.
Will she ever be able to forgive me?

"Mikey," Kenchin eventually begins, also sitting in the room with me. Without lifting my head, I answer in a muffled voice: "Mh?"
"You really love her, don't you?" he asks me. Of course I do, but I can't say it, so I just nod my head weakly and give another "Mhm". "It'll be weird seeing you two together," he continues, and I hear him sigh audibly.
"If you make her cry or hurt her just once, I'll kill you," he finally says. I can't say anything in response, not even nod, because she's only hurting so much now because of me.

At some point, I lift my head and look at her again, and the sight shatters my heart. "I have to do something," I say in a broken voice and stand up. Without waiting for an answer, I leave the hospital room and then the hospital.
After I find out who this bastard was, and I even know him, I go straight to him. He will pay for everything.

[...]

The despicable bastard sits on the ground in front of me and laughs derisively, as if he has the whole world in his power. I've already broken all his bones, but he doesn't seem to feel any pain. His sneering words echo in my ears: "It won't change anything if you kill me now. Others will come and do even worse things to her, and all because of you!" He lets out a desperate cry before I snap his neck and he falls lifeless to the ground.

I stare at the man lying in front of me with a tired, empty gaze. But instead of feeling a sense of satisfaction, I only feel filled with an infinite emptiness. No comfort, no redemption, just a deep, agonizing emptiness. Everything I did to him seems meaningless and doesn't comfort me, nor does it make up for all the terrible things he did to her. I never thought revenge could be so bitter and empty.
The minutes pass as I stare at the lifeless face. But at this moment, all that spreads inside me is this deep, agonizing emptiness. In my thoughts, the bastard's words repeat themselves incessantly, as if they were tormenting me: "Others will come... because of you." These words pile up my guilt.
And he's right.
She is suffering - because of me.
More will come and hurt her - because of me.

Tears well up in my eyes, but I can't wipe them away, they flow inexorably down my face. My heart cries out in pain, and the certainty that I will only bring her more suffering tears me apart inside. My selfish feelings have left indelible scars on her, not only on her body, but also in her soul. I want to turn back time, stop the clock, but I can't.
But I won't let it happen again, not again.

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