The Groupchat Oneshots

Minecraft mischief - TANNER

TW: None

"TANNER HELP! TANNER!" 14 baby zombies swarmed me after a donation came in. I was running away and my hunger bar slowly decreased. "PLEASE!"

I see Tanner's Minecraft character running after me but once he sees the zombies, he starts running away screaming.

"Don't leave me here alone! What the hell, Tanner!" I yell at him, a zombie hitting me one last time and killing me. I scream.

"I'm not going anywhere near those devils!" He laughs and I respawn.

"Well at least get all my shit!" I start to go back to where I died.

"Fine, fine." After about 10 seconds, I see that Tanner has now died. "NOOOOO!" He screams and bangs on his desk.

"You're kidding. You know it's all gonna despawn now and I had DIAMONDS ON ME!"

"THAT'S NOT MY FAULT! I TRIED!"

"YOU SHOULD'VE TRIED HARDER!"

"SHUT UP!"

"YOU SHUT UP!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Nick yells back at us, ending our argument but we all laugh knowing it was all jokes.

"Didn't you steal those diamonds from Yumi?" Tanner asks.

"ARE THOSE WHERE MY DIAMONDS WENT?!" I hear Yumi's booming voice in real life and I hold back a smile.

"Maybe..."

"You know what we could have done?" Tanner's Minecraft character comes up to me. "If I wasn't married to Yumi, we could be married and then you could have teleported to me."

"YOU'RE GONNA DIVORCE ME?!" Yumi did not seem happy right now.

"You should divorce him. He's always yelling." I say and hop around.

"I should divorce him... Yumi, I want a divorce."

"Fine! I don't want to be your wife anymore anyway!" His Minecraft character now comes over to us and starts hitting Tanner which in turn makes him scream and run away.

"Stop trying to kill my fiancé!" I run after them and start hitting Yumi back with a sword I stole from him.

Tanner ends up dying right before I kill Yumi and I pick up both of their stuff, stashing away all of Yumi's good items in my secret chest before he comes over to me and kills me. "YUMI YOU SUCK!"

"YOU KEEP STEALING MY SHIT!"

"YOU KEEP KILLING PEOPLE!"

"BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP STEALING FROM ME!"

After a while, Tanner and I are now officially married in Minecraft, leaving Yumi as a divorced man and sulking for the next 10 minutes. He tries to ruin our wedding by placing lava everywhere.

"Now we have to make it really official by putting our beds together." I say and go over to his house. I had been living there for a bit since I joined the server late and never got around to making my own house. I probably would later, but this would do for now.

Tanner leads me to his room and I place my bed next to his and jump around on it, him following suit straight after. Laughing could be heard from both our ends.

Another donation comes in, and 5 poisonous spiders spawn in and I scream.

"I'll save you!" Tanner runs to the mobs and not even 5 seconds later, he dies. I try to kill them but with them all attacking me now, I have to run away. When the spiders all die after what feels like forever, I look at who donated.

"YUMI WHAT THE FUCK!" I can hear him faintly laughing in my ear. "Well jokes on you, I now have your money so who's laughing now!" He keeps laughing and I just go back to Tanner and I's bedroom where he was.

"We should go on a honeymoon. Let's get into a boat and like, find a nice beach or something and just fish." I suggest.

"Ooh, yes! And we can make a little hut to live in but we have to make sure no one here follows us cause I have a feeling Yumi's gonna try and kill us again."

"What!? I won't do that, probably... not." Yumi tries to reason but I just shake my head.

"When we play next, we can do a little honeymoon stream!" Tanner jumps up and down.

"Yes!" I smile and after a couple of minutes, we all decide to get off for the night and end our streams.

I decided to end my stream but I wanted to play for a bit longer, so I stayed on.

I hear a knock on my door and Tanner comes in. "How is my new spouse doing?" He asks me, coming over behind my chair and watches me play.

"Pretty good. How's my stupid husband doing?" I ask and chuckle a bit.

"Hey! I'm doing fine." He sits down on my bed and rests his back against my headboard, swiping through his phone and occasionally looking over at what I'm doing.

After about 10 more minutes, I decided to get off for the night. I log out and take off my headset. I sigh and turn my chair around to look at Tanner.

"I wanna kill Yumi IRL." I say and swivel around in my chair.

"I'm gonna punch him straight in the head." I smile and join him on the bed, getting under the covers.

"We'll make him pay, don't worry." Tanner says, stroking my hair.

"I've got some ideas on what we could do..." I smirk and look up at him.

"He's got no chance against us."

"Absolutely zero."

I snuggle up to him and we both fall asleep, plotting our ways to make Yumi's Minecraft experience horrible from this point forward.