Jia Pov
Flashback
My neighbor who I'd known for no more than 5 months, was leading me down a deserted road, even the convenience stores weren't open. Even though I trusted him, I felt quite unsafe.
He spoke up all of a sudden, making me flinch. "Be my girlfriend." His voice was monotone, he wasn't even turning back to face me. "W-what?" I was very taken aback by his sudden proposal, if you could even call it that. "I know you like me." He spoke, still not turning back. I blushed. how did he know?
I stuttered unable to answer. He finally turned around, walking up to me, who had stopped walking. "If you push me away, I'll take it as a no." before I could process what he had just said, his lips were on mine.
"You're mine now."
Present
In that moment it had felt like a dream but in hindsight, that moment was nothing like a dream. It wasn't consensual nor did I actually agree to be his girlfriend but...I never had the courage to say "No", I wanted to keep believing that every time he ignored me, belittled me or shouted at me that it was just 'work stress' and that he did really love me but now that I think about it...he's never actually told me that himself.
Don't get me wrong, he wasn't always like how he is now. At first he was kind, caring, attentive and playful but now it's like I don't even exist. Every time I try to talk to him and he replies with absent minded hums, I just wish I had pushed him away.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by the door opening. It was Seungkwan, my boyfriend.
I took a deep breath and made my way to the living room. "Hey, how was your day" I asked. "fine." He replied, looking down at his phone. "um do you know what day it is tomorrow?" I gulped and asked again, hoping to get some real interaction this time. He didn't reply. I frowned. "Kwan?" I asked carefully, I didn't want to get told off again. He hummed in response still not looking up. I tried to stay patient, "Do you know what it is?...It's our anniversary". He hummed again still not actually paying attention to me. This time it really hurt me, it was our anniversary tomorrow and he seemed like couldn't care less. I started tearing up, I quickly wiped away my baby tears as last time I cried, he insulted me for it. "Do you even love me? Do you care about me?" I asked unable to hold my frustration in any longer. He hummed again.
"I want to break up." I finally pushed out the words I had been wanting to say for the past 5 months. He finally looked up. "What? I didn't hear you"
He's trying to weaken my resolve, I won't let that happen. "I said, I want to break up with you." His eyes widened for a second before they went back to the cold and emotionless eyes he always shows me. He sighed.
"why?" he spoke in an annoyed tone. "You don't care about me. You don't pay attention to me, you treat me like I don't exist or I'm just a pest you can't get rid-" "I love you." He spoke interrupting me. "N-no you don't, you're just saying that to shut me up. you-" I started shaking. He walked up to me and shut me up with a kiss. "I said I love you. I'm a celebrity, I don't have time to nor am I supposed to date but I'm still dating you isn't that proof enough? You're just tired, go sleep. we'll talk tomorrow." I couldn't say anything to him. This is what happens every time, he always has to have to last word.
*************
It was the next morning and I woke up, unable to find Seungkwan anywhere. "He probably went off to work again." I sighed and went to get ready for the day. I took a shower and shaved my legs and arms. I wore his favorite dress and did my makeup.
I sent him a text saying "Happy anniversary! Let's have lunch together :)" he replied after two hour with a thumbs up emoji and message saying he got us a hotel reservation. I smiled. Maybe today will be better.
I had to drive myself to the restaurant but it was fine. I walked in and saw Seungkwan sitting at a table along with his Seventeen group members. My heart sank, I thought it would be just us two. I began to choke up, I held it in and walked up to the table placing my bag on the seat next to Seungkwan and giving everyone a smile. Everyone greeted me and I excused myself from the table and went out to breathe and calm myself down.
I felt humiliated, It's our anniversary and he couldn't even spend some time alone with me let alone wish me for it. He didn't even acknowledge me when I walked in.
I started tearing up, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I crouched to the ground in front of my car and started crying. I probably looked miserable right now and he would say the same but what am I supposed to do.
"Why don't you just break up with him?" A voice spoke, the man was leaning against the car next my car. I quickly wiped my tears and stood up, looking at him. It was Jeonghan, one of Seungkwan's group members. "What do you mean?" I decided to play dumb. I can't let others know about the cracks in my love life.
He sighed, "Why are you still with Seungkwan? He treats you badly and makes you cry in a restaurant parking lot on your anniversary." He spoke. I gave him a pained smile. "I really am pathetic, aren't I?" I scoffed at my own situation. "No you're not. You think you love him, so you're unable to let go but sometimes holding on for too long hurts you even more." He spoke looking into my eyes. In all this time I spent with Seungkwan, I had forgotten what eye contact felt like.
"But I still love him" I spoke tearing up again. He shook his head. "You're mistaken. You don't love him, you just love the memories of who he used to be." I already knew this but hearing someone else tell me that just made it feel a lot more real. The tears rolled down my cheeks. Jeonghan wiped them off. "You don't deserve this Jia." I frowned and buried my face in his shoulder, unable to stop sobbing. He pulled me into a hug.
"It's okay, you'll be okay."
