To Be Determined

~~Chapter 1~~

Minho

The flight back home was always so long. Don't even get me started on the jet-lag. As excited as I was to go back home, to see my cats again, I always dreaded the travel aspect. Anyone in the right mind would feel the same. It was always so exhausting and I felt like I could sleep for days.

Yes I did sleep on the plane, but that was never as comfortable as my own bed. It didn't matter what class I was in. First or economy... it was miserable. So, I spent my flight listening to music, reading a few things here or there, napping... talking to Jisung... He was always my plane buddy it felt like. I, honestly, wouldn't have it any other way. He kept things interesting.

He wasn't super talkative this time though. Which rose concern. My little squirrel was always going a hundred miles an hour. I found myself subconsciously touching him in anyway I could, to maybe provide comfort? He was reactive to it, so that was a good sign. He hooked his pinky around mine, as I had gently started to rub his. I smiled softly, stealing a glance at him.

He was still hyper focused on his phone. Writing lyrics, I assumed. He was one of the masterminds with our music in Stray Kids after all. Between him, Chan, and Changbin... they were all geniuses. I loved it too. I took care of the dancing, they took care of the songwriting. Without them, I wouldn't have anything to do. Felix and Hyunjin were always right there with me too. Our own little sub unit, DanceRacha. It was fun.

Now our singers, VocalRacha if you will, were Seungmin and Jeongin. I was just as proud of their talent as the others. Their passion for singing was to be admired and they helped coach the rest of us as well. We all had a lot to bring to the table for the group. And honestly I wouldn't change a thing about it. To think... JYP almost permanently eliminated Felix and I... what a shame that truly would have been.

My mind wandered as I watched Jisung a little more obviously. He was anxious. I could feel it. His hand was a bit tense and his knee was bobbing ever so slightly. I furrowed my eyebrows as I studied him. Trying to find any sign of what might be bothering him. Normally, I was very good at reading him and trying to decipher his emotions. Today, it was a bit difficult.

I bit my lip softly, concern likely showing on my face. Jisung turned his head towards me. I offered him a gentle smile, and removed one of my earbuds. He did the same, to let me know I had his attention. I smirked slightly, good boy. His eyebrows raised a bit, like he was waiting for me to speak. "You okay Jisung?" I asked quietly, leaning a a little closer to him, trying to give him at least some privacy if he wanted to talk.

"O-oh... yeah. I just... have a lot of my mind. I know we are done with our promos and touring and stuff for a while, but I just feel like I have so much to do once we get back." He sighed, the sound airy, but sad. I slipped the rest of my hand into his and squeezed it gently. I gave him a reassuring nod and tugged him a little closer to myself and gave him a half hug.

"It will be okay Hannie. I promise. Don't let everything get to you okay? Talk to me if you need to. I don't want you to get overwhelmed. Hell, start keeping a journal, talk about your feelings there. It's always a good outlet." Jisung nodded and returned the slightly awkward hug. Only awkward because we are on a plane...

I kept his hand in mine the rest of the flight. He didn't seem to mind, but I definitely noticed the blush that had made a permanent appearance on his cheeks. Those cute, round cheeks. I couldn't get enough of him sometimes. As much as I joked, and teased... there was a lot of truth in the things I said and did around Jisung. I truly, truly adored him.

Lately, I had been having thoughts about him. Thoughts of maybe introducing him to my lifestyle. He would be the first one in the group that would know anything about it. I wouldn't have it any other way really. On top of wanting to share my new found lifestyle with him, I had been noticing some submissive tendencies in him. It was very attractive to me.

Though, I still have not found the time that I would think is right to talk to him about it. I definitely didn't want to scare him away, but I wanted him to at least know. It was going to be a difficult journey, explaining everything... hoping he wouldn't turn away from our friendship... he is my soulmate after all, even if I never really believed in them. For him I would, and do.

Having other partners had proven difficult. As much as our friendship tried to stay platonic... there were moments, glances, touches, that told me there was more going on in that man's brain than what he was telling me. For some reason, I felt he knew the same about me.

I let my brain drift off with thoughts of a submissive Jisung. Him kneeling in front of me, dressed in next to nothing. His head bowed, awaiting my next order. His soft voice addressing me with a, 'yes sir.' It did things to me. My want for control and having order in my life was answered when I decided to become a part of this lifestyle... would Jisung ever be okay with it? Truly? Did I even want to actually get him involved? Would it break it him... or worse... make him hate me? 

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: 

And here is chapter 1!! 

I was working on this along side Waiting for the Moon.  I normally go for more fantasy style writing, but I got this idea while I was writing my other book and decided to jump on it.  I have had fun writing it so far.  It probably will be about as long as Waiting for the Moon was/is, which means I am about half way through writing it.  

I am just trying to pin down how I want it to end and what big conflict I want to have... 

We will see... but enjoy! 

♡♡♡♡♡