Easier to Lie

Chapter Nineteen

I hadn't heard from Eric since he left after our "serious conversation." Every time I called, it went straight to voicemail. He read my texts but didn't respond. I screwed up. He was hurt by my not wanting him to join the Navy. I watched the news, I knew how dangerously close to war we were. I couldn't handle it if something happened to him.

Still no word from Leah either. I borrowed her car keys and tried my best to remember the way to Emma's.

Forty-five minutes and three wrong turns later, I found the cute little apartment they had moved into. Emma and another woman, possibly her sister, were sitting on a porch swing and drinking Bloody Marys.

They were laughing and talking, having a great time. I hated to intrude. "Hi, Emma, how are you today?" She stood to give me a hug and she smelled like she finally had her "medicine." That would explain the laughing.

"Eric's inside, Baby Girl, and could you tell him to get me the Twizzlers? I think they're on the couch," she sat back on the swing and picked their conversation up where they left off.

I found Eric in his bedroom playing the guitar. For a minute I stood in the doorway to watch him. He kept playing like I wasn't there. He used to look happy playing that ancient guitar, especially when Leah and I would sing. I was tempted to sing right then but decided not to do that. I knocked on the wall instead.

"Hey," he looked up but didn't say anything, "your mom is asking for Twizzlers," I told him with a small laugh, hoping for a smile. That didn't work; he walked around me.

I wanted to make things right. I would stay there until we were okay. I refused to leave until he talked to me.

"You can't avoid me forever," I told him before he picked up the guitar again.

"What do you want me to say? You're basically wanting me to choose between my dream girl and my dream job."

"Do you have to join right now? Why the rush?"

"I don't have to, but I'd like to. You'll be starting college soon so we'll be long distance anyways. You'll graduate in four years and my contract will be up that same time."

He made sense, but I wasn't okay with it. "Do whatever you want to. I don't want to hold you back."

"Are we done?" The sadness in his voice made my heart shatter.

"That's not what I want, Eric," we stood inches apart, close enough to kiss, close enough to inhale his breath. "Is that what you want?"

Nothing was said. Absolutely nothing. So, I ran as fast as I could to the car. I didn't stop to say goodbye to Emma. I didn't care to know if Eric was chasing after me. I got into the car and sped away.

I didn't want to go straight to the condo just in case Eric had followed me. The romantic in me wanted him to come after me, to fight for me. But I also wanted to be left alone.

"He didn't say anything? Like, not a single word?" I drove to Leah's work and thankfully there were no customers. She was pricing shirts on a shelf.

"Nothing. He hasn't called or sent a text either."

"And this all happened because you don't want him in the military?"

"I don't want to lose him. You've heard the stories about military life breaking up families."

"Yeah, but Reg, it sounds like you're already losing him. You should let him join."

"What if it was Adam?" I figured she would understand my point of view if it was about Adam.

"I would support him. I wouldn't mind being a military wife." I figured wrong.

She didn't intend to make me feel guilty or bad, but it happened. I had a right to feel the way I felt. Needing to be alone again, I drove to the beach, the one near town, not the condo. If Eric had gone there, I didn't want to see him. I couldn't face him, I had too much to think about.