Messy love | Matheo Riddle

31

CHAPTER 31

TW : tr*ma, c!rse

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CHAPTER 31 - Ruined Life

"Not everyone will hold your hand till the end, Azura."

Pansy opened the dorm room, making Feyre sit on the bed.

Uncontrollable tears left her eyes as she sobbed quietly in front of the girl she hated. Feyre despised this—despised everything. It was not the immense fear she felt that brought her such strong emotions but the burden after Lorenzo's death.

Perhaps it really was her fault.

Perhaps if they never were friends, Lorenzo would have lived—a happy life. A life where he constantly didn't have to worry about Feyre.

She couldn't take it anymore. Her sobs only got louder and louder.

Closing the door, Parkinson with eyes of pity stared on Feyre. A glint of guilt settled on her eyes as she tightened her lips. The vision looked familiar.

It reminded me of when Dalia had left Parkinson that one night. Heartbroken, Pansy cried for hours, rotting in her bed.

Slowly, she inched forward before sitting beside Feyre, leaving a significant gap between them.

It was pouring rain outside. Droplets of rain hitting the window.

Yet, The room was incredibly silent, only her wailing ruining it.

Pansy did not know that she was so involved with Feyre, only that she found similarities with her. Situations and incidents forced them to be together. Being Feyre's tormentor for years was her identity—that was for sure but now, it seemed that Pansy had different ideas.

"When Draco ordered you to break ties with Lorenzo—" Pansy's voice sounded, making Feyre's cries halt.  "Lorenzo always searched for you. I was sitting beside him for potions last year."

Pansy was in deep thought as she spoke, "He had an— exceptional talent for— brewing healing potions." She paused, before saying boldly.  "I envied him."

Feyre's endless weeping came to an end when she heard Pansy talk about Lorenzo. Turning her head lightly, she swallowed as the defying silence made Pansy speak. "He would at times slip some bottles and ingredients into his bag. Pretending to not notice, I would—- later steal the potions from his bag and present it to the professor and say that I brewed it. So that I would be more like Professor Snape." A chuckle left Parkinson's lips, "I was really fucking stupid" she shook her head.

A silence followed but Feyre answered after 20 seconds.

"You were," Feyre's frail voice croaked as she wiped the last of her tears.

A comfortable silence settled between them. They embraced the comfort in the silence. Pansy kept her eyes forward, not looking directly at Feyre.

"His death was no one's fault but his. He chose to end his life because this life was too cruel for him." Pansy said firmly as she inched closer, not too much that Feyre would freak out.

"Would you rather him be here and endure Dalia's endless tortures? Would you rather him go through the same thing you went through?" Pansy's questions were left hanging in the air as the silence answered it for Feyre.

What Pansy was saying was right. Lorenzo would be better off in peace than to endure hell on earth.

Feyre's eyes stared at the ground in misery. A life she could not imagine without Lorenzo. Here she was living it. Problems upon problems kept piling up with no clear answer. First, she was a god-blood awaiting to join the order of the phoenix. Second Asteria. Third, she still had Dalia and Malfoy becoming death-eaters.